Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

Who is demanding, controlling and moaning now?!

She likes him but she doesn't like you

He’s a father. Once that happens the children come first no matter what. He must go

Telling someone to move on means....it makes me uncomfortable so stop feeling what you are feeling and turn it off so I can carry on and never hear about it again!

I have respect for the daughter for making a decision to invite who she wants and not who she has to. Most weddings have people there that the B&G have been forced to invite because it’s the right thing to do.

Its refreshing to see that she has made the decision she wants for her own wedding

If only you could work out why?

Gosh, so darned difficult

If a partner of mine was so spiteful as to refuse to go to his own daughters wedding I would be taking a long hard look at who I am in a relationship with.

To say you come across badly is rather like calling a hurricane as a bit of rain.

Does she get along with her mum's partner?

I think the reasons why you don't get along with each other are very relevant here and she doesn't have to invite anyone that she doesn't get along with and neither does her prospective husband.

Was the step dad your partners friend too otherwise totally different aswell anyway

Who goes after their friends ex husband, especially when they knew them as a married couple. I think most people would think that was crossing a line.

Clearly she likes / respects / gets on with him when she doesn't get on with you.

The fact that you don't seem to understand this is quite telling.

I wonder what the backstory is as to not invite you out of curtesy to her dad means she really doesn't get on with you.

He has to go to his daughter’s wedding. Your feelings are very low down the list in this case, as annoying as it is. Irreparable damage will be done to father daughter relationship if somebody else gives her away.

He's her father - of course he should be going.

You said you 'were' friends with her mother - what happened to that friendship that you're no longer friends? (apologies if this question has already been asked and answered)

His daughter doesn't like you.

Whether you understand or agree with why is irrelevant.

I cannot imagine ever being a woman that would prevent or object to a man not attending his daughters wedding. Of course he should go, you are irrelevant here.

I give this thread an hour tops before the op gets it deleted as "outing" or some such nonsense as it's not going her way :)

Put each other first over his kids? It’s becoming pretty clear why you don’t have a good relationship and it’s nothing to do with a former friendship with her mum.

You said it yourself in your first post.
You do not have a good relationship.
She doesn’t like you and you don’t like her.
Why on gods earth would she invite you to her wedding??
Being married to her Dad doesn’t give you a “right” to be there 🤣 if she doesn’t like you, you’re not invited. I’m with her in this one. 100%.
I have 3 stepkids. 2 I adore and have a great relationship with. 1 I cannot stand. She’s utterly vile in every conceivable way, everyone in the family thinks the same but they have to tolerate her existence. I do not. If she found someone stupid enough to marry her (she’s a grown adult) then I certainly would not bloody attend. Nor would she want me there

If you really believe what you’ve written then you should put him first and happily wave him off with grace. If you love him then you should not force him to pick you on your stepdaughter’s special day.

You need to accept that you and your partner deeply hurt people by getting together and just because you and him are over any guilt that you may have initially felt, the others are still hurting today and you can’t change that.

And there is the problem. It’s not some randomised wedding it’s his Daughter ffs. My husband and I do plenty separately and children always come first no matter how old they are.

Ooooooo ... You're the former wife's friend who became the other woman.

And you're baffled......

Your lack of awareness is ASTONISHING

Honestly reading further into this!!! I'm so shocked why you think what you did was ok. It wasn't. And you sound controlling! 10 years and? You broke girl code.

Why the fuck should she get pally with you just because time has passed? You don't like her at all, it's obvious in everything you've written - it would be even more obvious in person. Fact remains that you betrayed her mother's friendship and confidences and are busy insulting both of them here. Were you ever actually her stepmother, ie involved in any upbringing, or are you just her father's long-term girlfriend? I'm betting at this point that he wasn't much of a father either, if he's so quick to shrug off the idea of going to her wedding if you aren't invited. Might be wrong, but neither of you look good here.

This is surely a reverse?

Who expects to be put before someone's children?

Just stay home OP and have a pamper night and let DP enjoy his DDs wedding!

I've heard it all now! No wonder she doesn't like you if you are happy for her father to miss her wedding day. It's nothing to do with you - let it go, 'let' him go and get over yourself.

Because it’s his Daughter’s wedding… 🤷🏻‍♀️