Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

In these circumstances, surely a father would put his daughter first.
And a reasonable partner would understand that.
It's the mature thing to do

He should be putting his child first. That he would skip his child’s wedding because you are not invited tells us much about his relationship with his daughter.

You may be suffering a bit as collateral damage. it is easier for her to hate you than it is to hate him.

If my sd's mum had done the same maybe they would not have divorced
Wow, that’s cold. And you were friends with this woman?

The fact you can't see this beyond your own perspective is probably a reason you're not invited

You've said it yourself , you don't have a good relationship.

If so, that is exactly why she hasn't invited you. You are singularly lacking in emotional intelligence.

This is horrible to read. Of course he should go to the wedding without you, it's his daughter.

Only someone incredibly selfish or insecure would be happy watching their partner blow up their relationship with their child in this situation. If you and the daughter don't get on you have no reason to go. Your pride is hurt, that's all.

Perhaps OP she feels it was disloyal to her mother, which is was.

Although I do get on with my SD, her family on her mother's side are very challenging to say the least. I have always thought there is a strong possibility that she might not invite me to her wedding due to the animosity. I would be hurt by this but I would respect her wishes. I wouldn't stop her dad going BECAUSE HE IS HER DAD and will play a hugely important role in the wedding.

However I would say that she doesn't want me, she doesn't want my money either, she can't have one without the other.

I think you need to reassess your attitude towards father. It would be a huge mistake in their relationship if he doesn't attend. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Are you actually joking? He should go without you because his daughter should always come first! If he chooses not to attend his daughter’s wedding because his partner of ten years isn’t invited, that says A LOT about the type of man that he is (and the type of woman you are too)

The daughter would be far better off if the father doesn’t go. He’s clearly a vile flake whom she has to try to tolerate. His betrayal of her mother by shagging her mother’s support network and then prioritising this GF over his daughter and the mother’s just & distress really paints a picture of a selfish couple who prioritise eachother over the daughter.

Poor girl has a shyster for a father and a vile narcissist for a father’s GF. Father’s GF then throws toys out pram on internet because not invited to a wedding of people she dislikes anyway.

An assault to the ego eh, OP?

“Friends”

Her dad is a massive twat then. My husband’s dad didn’t come to our wedding because his precious wife (who was the OW) wasn’t going to be on our top table.. and we haven’t spoken to them since.

Why ? Is he that shit of a father ?

What's your relationship with her mum? Maybe she just wants to avoid drama on such a special day. She can't not invite her Dad though, can she?

I reckon the mum has always put DC first. Dad wanted to be the Big I Am and resented that. Got together with OP who needs to be needed so feeds his ego so he can feed hers. And there you have why both mother and daughter can't stand him or OP.

Yes, OP and her partner (boyfriend) sound a perfect match.

He should be putting his DAUGHTER before you.

You sound like a strange couple anyway. I’m sure your presence won’t be missed.

Has your partner said he doesn’t want to go or are you assuming he wouldn’t possibly want to go without you?

you sound more dreadful with every update, you should dust off your pride and encourage your partner to go - be the bigger person. However I don’t think anything anyone is saying to you is sinking in, I feel sorry for your SD and I wish her a lovely drama free wedding!

He shouldn't be putting you first. Children should come before new partners. Your tone through this is awful op. Im really not surprised you dont get on

I didn't say she was....

Please read again....I said she betrayed her friend.

I can't help but feel contempt for the gutless arsehole of a man at the centre of this mess. His daughter is probably better off cutting ties with him as well, tbh. If his attachment to his daughter is so weak that he daren't stand up to his girlfriend for her, then good riddance to him.

My DH has been to many weddings without me, he is my partner not my right tit.
You are making yourself sound like a real witch here. Preventing him from going to his own daughter's wedding is wicked.
Of course if her mother is going to be uncomfortable with you there then she won't want you there. She wants a happy day that is about her and her partner getting married, not giving her father's girlfriend (and her mother's ex-friend) so called “respect" at the cost of others.
You earn respect, you don't demand it.

Because he's her father?
Totally her & her future husband's prerogative to invite who they want & if they feel it will be awkward to have you there because of the relationship between her mum and you and don't want drama on their wedding day - fair enough.
He'll end up resenting you if he misses it.

Crikey this isn't about you. Is this some weird reverse. Of course her dad has to go to his dd wedding without you.

You sh#t on your own doorstep by starting a relationship with friends ex husband. Did you really think there wouldn't be any fall out.

Put your big girl pants on and encourage your husband to go to his dd wedding.