Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

And you arn’t even married to her father. Why do you take priority over her? I don’t see that you do.

Honestly you are demanding that you are invited to someones wedding despite the fact that you don’t like them and they don’t like you. That alone should give you pause. You don’t get extra brownie points for shagging their dad.

Ofcourse he should go to her wedding, what kind of shit dad doesn’t go to his kids wedding. Honestly if it were me in your shoes I’d be telling DH he must go to his daughters wedding and I would be very quiet about the fact I wasn’t invited.

You seem to think you should have some sort of status as her dads partner despite your poor relationship.

From your posts I would say perhaps you are the problem here.

We put each other first

Aren’t people meant to put their children before romantic relationships?…

OP you don’t like each other. YABU to be annoyed at not being invited to the wedding of someone you don’t like. If you were her mum or the woman who raised her then sure. But you aren’t.

Encourage your partner to go. Much worse than you not being invited is the dad refusing to go.

Also: the reason why she wants her step-dad there is probably because he didn’t start shagging her mum behind her dad’s back, stabbing her dad in the back in the process and breaking his heart with the double betrayal.

So the two situations are not the same really, are they 🤷‍♀️?

So it's not about being there to share her day it is a competition?

OP, I get that it's hurtful, but encourage your husband to go without you. Speaking from experience, even when you're not the OW, you're always going to be perceived as being in the wrong when you're "stepmother" for adult children.

(I'm putting that in inverted commas, because I'm assuming that you weren't involved in the children's upbringing.)

Of course he should put his daughter first. What kind of father wouldn’t?

She sounds like a daughter who is good to her mother, good for her!

He should put his daughter first not you. She’ll always be his child, a few years down the line you could split and then what. He missed his daughter’s wedding for you!! I can’t believe you would think that is acceptable in anyway or encourage him not to go.
Shame on you.

He should want to go because she’s his child. Even if he goes only for the offices but then dips out.

He becomes the shitty person not her if he doesn’t go to his own child’s wedding because his partner isn’t invited.

Erm because it’s his daughter. Not buying your story at all. You Deffos jumped on the dad the second they split. Get a grip. You should be ENCOURAGING your husband to go. In fact - HOW have you not fixed the relationship in 10 years? You’re obviously see yourself as a victim.

You want him to miss his daughters wedding???

Just step aside and let him go.

I find this thread hard to believe, surely people are not this self absorbed.
You have the morals of an alley cat, that's why she doesn't get on with you. You betrayed her mum. 10 years or not, it makes no odds.
And of course he should go to his daughters wedding. Its the day HE should put HIS daughter first. You shouldn't come first as his partner, at least not all the time.
If my step kids don't invite me to their wedding.. I'd be disappointed and sad but I would respect their wishes and wish them well on their day. I'd tell my hubby to go and have a lovely time celebrating.
The world doesn't revolve around you op.

OFFS my father was at my sister's wedding in the 80s without his wife, who had been the OW ten years previously. She wouldn't have been stupid enough to think she should go. Granted you weren't the OW, but the question is:

Why do you want to go at all? You obviously don't like your stepdaughter. You say she's under her mother's control. You admit you don't have a good relationship. It sounds like you feel entitled to go whether she wants you there or not, even knowing she has at least two good reasons for not inviting you (neither she nor her mother like you). I'm starting to wonder what her relationship with her father is like, and whether it would actually be any loss if he doesn't turn up.

Wow, you sound self important & petty.
I would be embarrassed if I were you,
You're not an important person in her life.
You don't need to be invited to the wedding, her father should go because.... He's her father (you haven't said if they have a difficult relationship).
If her father doesn't go to his daughter's wedding because his girlfriend isn't invited , he will be judged by the whole family, friends + inlaws ( as he should be for being pathetic)

Really he should put his daughter first! I suspect this is part of a much bigger problem.

She has been angry with her since he got together with me. Shes awful to him tbh

@Chewitally TBH your replies make it very clear why she wouldn't want you at her wedding. My Dad had been married over 20 years when I got married and I didn't invite his wife. She's a horrible woman, why on earth would I have invite her to the most important day of our lives. My Stepdad was obviously invited as he's a loving, present parent in my life.

Agree with @Happygogoat

You sound dreadful and toxic.

And if your DH skips his daughter's wedding over this, he’s no better and you deserve each other

OW or not; she doesn’t like you and doesn’t need to. You don’t seem to like her either.

I hope the bride and mother of bride see this thread.

I am shocked you expect a father to miss his DD wedding because you don't get on with her!

That she likes him and not you? Being a relation of any sort does not automatically entitle you to be involved in someone’s life I’m afraid

And this is the problem with dating a friends ex. It makes you unloyal as a friend and nobody will believe there wasn’t even at least a secret crush from one of you while being the partner/friend.

No, you don't put each other first.

He should be putting his daughter first. Which I suggest is part of the reason she has an issue with you.

Why would he WANT to go without me! I am his partner. We put each other first

Do you think as his partner you should be put before his children?

Yep my step MIL too

Just let your DH attend and don’t make a fuss. This is your step-daughter’s day, it’s not about you.

Do you have any children of your own, OP?