Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

My husband certainly didn't want to go to outings or events without me, but I encouraged him to go. It's difficult, I know.

Many people would argue that you arn’t more important than being there for his daughter on her wedding day.

She's his daughter. That's at least equally important. I wouldn't let a new partner ruin my relationship with my children.

This is not about you! Stop being so selfish and childish

Is this a reverse?

1 - the reason you don’t get on is very much the reason you’re not invited.
2 - her dad has to go, or that is their relationship ruined forever.
3 - she doesn’t have to accept you.
4 - I wouldn’t get on with you if you were my mums friend, even if you weren’t the OW.
5 - this isn’t about you

Well her dad is a dick then. It’s his daughter’s wedding. I guess this will be the end of their relationship

And if she doesn’t want to invite you she doesn’t have to. Her inviting her stepfather is irrelevant to why you haven’t been

He's dd should come first. Not his dads partner you aren't even married.

@Chewitally "Would people really be happy if their partner's went to a wedding without them"

I would be careful about disapproving of your DP not going to his DD's wedding without you & to say - Of course he won't go without me sounds a bit odd to me It's his daughter. I am tempted to say - be the grown up person here and step back

Yup I would not mind at all . I've been to a wedding without my Dh - All was fine.

You sound very young OP - I don’t know if you actually are but you really are sounding it with this teenage style stroppiness

one more time, she is his daughter, she should come first and if you do what my step MIL did to my SIL & stop her father attending his own daughters wedding, it will likely ruin their relationship forever

but then maybe that’s what you want?? It’s 100% what my step MIL wanted. She actively worked to destroy his relationship with his children from his first marriage and only focus on her

You don't have a good relationship.
You clearly don't like each other.
It's their wedding so they get to choose.

Whether it's fair or not, you grow up, suck it up and you tell him to go without you. If he doesn't he'll lose his daughter and he'll regret it.

Clearly there is a lot of bad feeling between you and her mum – with reason, it's a bit off to date a good friend's ex husband when they've had an acrimonious divorce – and the step-daughter probably wants a drama-free day. She is always going to choose her mum over you.

Wow. You really were a great friend to this woman, weren’t you? Such a source of support & understanding.

Not content with abandoning her when she needed you, shacking up with her ex, alienating her DD and then driving a wedge between her DD and the father, you NOW turn your venom on your ex-friend, saying she should’ve worked harder to keep her husband (the one you went on to nab).

I’m finding it hard to believe that this is real now. 🦈

In the case of their child's wedding, I would insist they go.

Why would he WANT to go without me! I am his partner. We put each other first

Because she's his child. It's her wedding day.

It would be incredibly selfish of you to encourage him not to go.

This.

Why can’t you just give the girl some peace OP and let her have her dad on her wedding day without having to deal with a woman she dislikes.

Let this one day be about her OP. By the sounds of things she’s had plenty of shit to deal with in her life. Let her have some peace.

She’s his daughter. He should be putting her first!

OMG you are so unbelievably self-centred and self-important I’m beginning to think you’re trolling.

Also, no need to lash out at the ex wife. Bitching about her doesn’t make you a better person.

I wouldn’t have you there either if that’s your attitude. He should want to go, because his daughter SHOULD be his priority in this case. NOT YOU.

Your partner might not WANT to go without you, but he SHOULD go without you nonetheless. He’s her DAD. You should not be making this all about you. I can absolutely see why they don’t like you.

He may have been kinder to her. The fact you say her dad will not attend her wedding if you're not invited says alot.
How did you treat her when she was a child?
My dad's wife was horrible to us, very controlling and pushed us out. When we became adults and started having weddings/babies, she was put out not to be included.

You speak with such vitriol I can imagine that you'd cause quite a scene if you were there anyway.

Oh it could very much be real, I could see my stepmother doing the same thing.

Well at least the ops emotional intelligence is so consistent. On the ground but consistent.

Did you miss the memo where this is just completely unacceptable? You’re not much of friend if you consider getting together with your friends ex husband (and the extra layer of awfulness would be with both your children going to school together - poor kids!!) I think you have given the poor girl more than enough reasons not to like you and to plenty more not to invite you to her wedding. You come across really badly here, team bride all the way on this one…..As for your DP, well what goes around comes around so keep a close eye on your own friends down the line won’t you?