Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

I wouldn’t make him miss his daughter’s wedding over it.
it’s all a big shame but it’s his daughter

This ... Jesus woman. Its his daughters wedding.! How controlling! Haven't you done enough damage?

No she knows. I know because she confronted me after it came out and her issue is that i should not have got with a friends ex husband

OK fine but after 10 years time to move on

I couldnt date someone who used to be with a friend It would feel too weird.

You need to encourage your partner to go to HIS daughters wedding. You don't get on with her and you are the one being childish expecting him not to go.

Of course your DH should go to his DD's wedding.

Of course your DD can invite (& not invite) anyone she wants to HER wedding.

It doesn't sound as if you've had a mothering role in her life, it sounds as if you're much more her father's partner than a stepmother.

You also admit that you've fallen out with the bride's mother (regardless of the reason), so why would the bride invite someone, anyone, to her wedding that neither she nor her mother likes?

She likes him and she doesn't like you. It doesn't sound complicated.

So you don’t get on with the bride or the bride’s mother?

Maybe she invited her stepfather because she likes him?
Of course your husband should go without you, it is his daughter's big day and he is her father. You are irrelevant in this

It’s just a lot more peaceful and civilised when we can let time wash away any culpability or responsibility for our misdeeds isn’t it?

So pesky to always have to be reminded of how we’ve hurt or wronged other people. They are so selfish for not letting OP erase history.

You crossed the line. You went with your friends ex husband. I suspect your friendship with him contributed to him leaving her. Added to the fact his dd went to school with your kids suddenly her df is divorcing her mam and is now with the family friend. Shameful behaviour. Why would she and her mum want you there. Your her df gf at best your not even married.

I would be pretty heartbroken if one of my friends who I had confided in decided to get into a relationship with my exh. I definitely don’t want him back but it’s a really, really shitty thing to do. I have complete sympathy for the daughter. This is all yours and your partners fault.

You’re right. Move on, leave your partner and admit to the shitty way you treated your friend.

I would absolutely insist on your husband attended his daughter's wedding. Not attending will forever impact their relationship.

How sad the father is going to miss his daughter’s wedding.

Are you stopping him from going to the wedding?

She'll move on if and when she wants to, and on her own timescale, not yours.

She still is under no moral obligation to invite someone she doesn't like to her wedding.

It's her wedding day. It's about her, and her husband to be. It's not about you.

You don't have a good relationship. Why do you even want to go to the wedding of someone you don't have a good relationship with?

Because she doesn't like you.

Its up to her.

He really needs to go to his daughter’s wedding. Otherwise this will ruin their relationship completely.

It's pretty bad behaviour to start a relationship with a good friend's ex husband while they are still alive and you live near each other. It's not something I would consider doing in these circumstances and I expect most women would feel the same.
You just need to accept that she doesn't like you for this reason. The worst possible thing you can do now is encourage your partner, her father, not to go to his daughter's wedding because you have decided to take offence. That would be truly vindictive and horrid.

My FIL had an affair with my MIL's mate and moved in with her kids minutes away from where his old family lived. Not quite the same situation because it was an affair but do you know who doesn't see FIL anymore? Every single one of the kids who stopped seeing him when they turned 18.

Seeing their dad with kids from their school (and seeing how hurt their mum was) meant that none of them have had anything to do with their father in well over 20 years. Reap what you sow and all that,

I’ve posted on this earlier in the thread, and felt as riled as the rest of us. But now as time’s gone on I’m realising the tone of OP is off.

🦈

If my stepson decided he didn't want me at his wedding id be incredibly hurt, but absolutely would be encouraging my DH to go.

I wouldn't ever expect him to miss his child's wedding because they didn't like me.

And he'd be exactly the same if one of my girls, for some reason, didn't want him there.

He doesn't have to agree with his Dds decision, but not going is something that he can never undo.

Why would he WANT to go without me! I am his partner. We put each other first

If my sd's mum had done the same maybe they would not have divorced

Seriously, OP, the best thing is to encourage your husband to go without you. He can always leave early, after the first dance is over.