Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Rigg up your village ducking stool on a sturdy lever and fulcrum. Hours of fun if you can go in between the littel ones to cool off in the river, but obviously, be mindful that it's still before St. Swithun's day, so no removing of your vest yet.

Ye village fishe ponde is good for the swelter, and if ye comes out with any leeches attached, ye maye sell them to the local apothecary.
Winne winne.

You may have the sweating sickness. Sorry, but you will probably die.

Do not leaveth thine dwelling place without thine bonnet. The sun maketh many an Englishman go mad. Too many bear a russet hue after a day under its sweltering rays.

I forgetteth how much I loveth this threade.

Lawks a Lordy! How has thys threade come aliveth?
Tis Black Magik or the Dark Arts methinks.
Olde Mistress Alyss has been seen gallivanting around after The Summer Solstice by yonder Henge of Stones.

Verily, mine village doth wreak this eve with the smell of roasting hogs and fowls, whilst wanton strumpets bestride the streets displaying their calves and ankles and halfwits carouse and swig from flagons in yon market square. Mine neighbour meanwhile reclines in his new bubbling pond (I dare not ask) and plays deafeningly on his mandolin. The countryside doth beckon.....

Witches, all of them!

My dear man has a side gig in the long Lammas weeks, providing the bubbles for those bubbling ponds if folks can't do their own. Tis said that the sulphur air does the chest good as well.

new bubbling pond

<Coughs> Sex pond <coughs>

Avert thyne eyes @everywhichway !

Sharrilanda, I suggested this may be the intent of some spawn of the wanton captives of Pan to my husband, about his bubble business, and he was adamant that his presence tends to discourage any such disportment. He advises that, if bathers have trouble with such behaviour, it's not at all unusual to follow through in the prolonged making of the bubble jets, and this tends to kill the mood. He speaks true, I'd agree.

T'was certainly something most strange afoot good Mistress Sharralanda. Much noisome talk of comings there was, but for the life of me nobody seemed to arrive at all.

Summer's lease hath all too short a date it seems.

Hmm. That's quite a good line, though I say so mine self. Bet someone else doth nick it ere long.

Indeed it hath mistress @everywhichway for I think every fair from fair sometime declines.
If any personne doth nick it t'will be a manne for they are verily practiced in acquiring ye fame and fortune off ye bakkes of womennes layboures.

It has been a fine summer to gladden the heart indeed, and I do now go forth to seek the fruits of the hedgerows to sustain us through winter with their goodness. I yearn to boil up a rich broth with mine treasures,but fear a visit from the Witchfinder to poke about in mine cauldron!

Indeed, with ye turn in ye weather i have made a grand pottage of vegetables this morrow. I have also included ye new fangled tomatoes and potatoes. Ye hag next door claims they are poisonous. AIBU to think she is but jealous of my modernity?

Ye cold and mizzle hath so dampened my body and spirits I hath been driven to don mine underjerkin of fine spun yarn. I spied mine husband looketh most disgruntled at the appearance of mine sturdy apparel.

Tougheth.

Due to the poor harvest we are running short of bread. AIBU to suggest cake as an alternative?

Looking for style advice.

Utterly fed up with wearing silk dresses to the office for work so got my dressmaker to rustle up a little cotton number (channelling my inner shepherdess).

Its so light and comfy but I’ve been pulled up by HR telling me it’s inappropriate and many colleagues/staff/minions have complained saying it looks like underwear and shows disrespect for my (admittedly senior) position at work.

I just think they are out of touch and frankly jealous that I can pull this look off.

What say you?

Picture attached (edited for privacy).

p.s. still waiting for feedback on my cake post.

Thought wouldst be in trouble in these parts with that floozy frock. And how would you stop ye hem getting covered in ye shitte of horses.
I must hide this picture from mine husband, lest he get ideas.

Suggesting cake? Playing shepherdesses? Thou shouldst watch thy head good lady....

Why? Is my hair not big/fabulous enough?

It's fine. It should fit nicely into a basket.

AIBU or does the fashionable new grey hairpowder make people look old?

I think you need to accessorise with a piece of jewellery. I hear Cardinal Rohan is selling some diamonds....