Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

@another1bitestheduck I was addressing the claim that teenagers would prefer cash to the presents. I disagree. As a thoughtful parent you either know your DC sufficiently well to make a choice for them, or you bother to do the due diligence and find out what they want, as the OP has done.

I very specifically didn’t mention an amount in £ so I don’t know what the relevance of your comments about not finding a gift you love for under £20 is? The poster to whom I was responding referenced £50 and obviously the OP mentioned £500. I disagree with the assertion that most teenagers would prefer cash than the actual same amount (whatever that amount is) spent in tangible gift they can unwrap.

I don’t think preferring all your gifts to be given to in cash means you don’t know yourself, I do think that is pretty sad 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely this .

If someone is into brands and you cannot afford them don't waste money on cheap versions . Better to choose something different that's cheaper .

Exactly. I wouldn’t buy supermarket instead of designer, I would rather get something else or a voucher / cash towards.

Well this is exactly it, I've chosen something for them that I thought they would like every year until last year when the eldest wanted to return theirs so I asked this year if they'd prefer just cash and they said yes.

I don't know. I always bought thought-out surprise presents which sometimes landed well, sometimes (like last year), not so much. I don't think asking exactly what they want and getting it for them is thoughtful either. Why not just give them the cash? Christmas is about more than just presents, to us anyway.

OP, do any of your older teenage children buy gifts for you and your husband/extended family or just enjoying having £500+ spent on themselves?
Because more and more, Christmas seems to be about receiving rather than giving for teenagers.

They do buy for us, although they are at uni so we ask them to cap their spends at a maximum of £20 each. At the end of the day, they aren’t earning so we don’t want them to buy expensive gifts, as we are helping them through their studies anyway.

They will help out on the day as well, helping with cleaning up, or cooking. They are good kids. Their dad and I are very proud of them. It’s our choice to spend that much money on them and I feel that they do appreciate it.

It’s me who worries about present piles. They have never complained about anything. It’s me who wants to spoil them. It’s me who asks for lists and ideas. The problem is me and it stems from the fact my parents spoil me, regardless of my age, so I feel I have to do the same for my kids.

I could afford to spend that and more but I wouldn’t on principle because it’s just bloody ridiculous to spoil kids.

I disagree that spending £500 spoils kids.

as OP has pointed out it’s a bottle of perfume, a hoodie, 2-3 bits of make up and a pair of trainers. No one is getting diamond encrusted phone covers.

And don’t come back with you can buy that at Primark for a tenner. If I wanted new trainers tomorrow I’d go and buy some from Nike. Why would I buy my DC worse as a gift?

but I agree with the OP- psychologically it feels like £500 should stretch further and result in a more visual display.

This. Besides, being spoiled is nothing to do with how much you spend and everything to do with attitude.

Wow £500 is a lot. My limit has usually been around £100 for main present them really cheap little things to bulk out (think Primark underwear and socks, cheaper branded smellies but ones they still use). They do share their list with family so rarely get money from relatives as they will usually buy one of their requests around the £40-50 mark. I’m probably lucky as my eldest teen is autistic and won’t be seen dead in designer brands. They are a typical teen though at mainstream school. They have their ‘theme’ they like which can usually be soured relatively cheaply from the right places. They never really have a lost though as they never really ‘want’ anything and they get pocket money and rarely spend so when they see something they want they just buy it. My younger teen has started to like more expensive things but knows in reality we can’t afford it all. She has a hobby which is quite pricey to accessories to start with and then also likes things like a white fox hoodie. But most of her wardrobe is primary as well!! They’ve just started to like nice jewellery (Pandora/Nomination) but that makes it easier on a way as they can be bought individually.

I agree with you OP. Especially on the aftershave etc. It definitely used to be around £50 a few years ago, crept up to about £70....and now it's not far off £100 a bottle. So what used to be a decent little present is now 20% of your budget.
My budget is similar (but a bit smaller) My mid teen DS will get quite a small pile for that once I've counted up the trainers, aftershave, hoody etc. He's getting to the age where although he'd be grateful for Primark stocking fillers, he's more aware of brands and has requested CK boxers for example. That's about £30 for a 3 pack even in TK Maxx, so I've said that doesn't count as a normal clothes request and it'll be part of his Xmas list 🤷‍♀️
Younger DD is still ok with stocking filler type things but I've just spent £300 on her birthday on....not very much..,

Check Vinted and eBay. You can get used ones for £100.

I might ask my DC to put prices on their Xmas list so they are at least mindful of how things add up. £500 sounds like a lot, but I’ve stopped buying gifts for adults so I’ve only got my DC to buy for, so I could stretch to that ok. I find it more bizarre that people are buying expensive itemised listed items for their siblings. My DC are too young to earn any money so it’s understandable that Christmas is an opportune time for them to get things that they really want. If my brother wants some expensive headphones then he can buy them himself, whereas if my child wanted them then that’s the only means that they’ll get them. I’m not getting really expensive things for my DC but I personally feel I’d rather just spend the money and time on them rather than getting loads of adults a gift set just to tick a gift giving box.

They don't need piles of gifts. They are not a Dursley. A few well chosen items will be far more appreciated than a load of tat.

I cut back on "Stocking Fillers" when I realised my DC wasn't using any of it. They were happy to get a chocolate selection box and a satsuma and small gifts they'd asked "Santa" for such as underwear or toiletries. The big present (s) under the tree was from us. We also stopped wrapping gifts in stockings which gave us an extra evening!

Last year I did add "coal" soap but otherwise no surprises, no weird bits or games or random odd stuff.

I've never spent that amount on my dc and I spend about £80 now they are adults

They earn more than we do

Having the same sort of thoughts with my children this year! Due another so normally we’d spend £300 on them each but we’ve dropped this to £200 each (baby getting things we’d need to buy in the next year as my oldest will want her to be good and get presents off Santa)

£200 is definitely a smaller amount of presents and my oldest (6) has saved up his birthday money and bought himself a switch and wants games for that. It’s hard to explain to him that what’s £40 in a big box is the same as his £40 game and makes his pile much smaller!

Not read the whole thread. I have 2 adult/teen dc and no way will ever spend £500 on them 😬, I’m sure a lot of parents don’t. My eldest is in her last year of uni and hasn’t asked for anything, my other dd is 18 and hasn’t asked for much either. I spend around £100 each….maybe £150 if there’s something the want/need.

Sorry if this has been said already as I’ve not read the whole thread but re you DH’s side, could you suggest putting together with the other siblings for nephews and nieces. So instead of all 4 sets of aunties/uncles spending £20ish each you could all put together and get something for £80 between you instead.

I'm sure lots of parents do given the amount of kids that get iPhones, PS5, iPads, MacBooks etc as presents!

I am not sure this will be too helpful for you for this year but you should use to agree a step change with your family on Christmas gifts. For the first time this year we are doing a secret Santa using Elfstar, £50. So instead of 10 gifts where we were spending £100 each, we are now all being one gift for the person allocated for £50 - game changer!

I Did Not Read the Thread in full.

Just give your children the £500 and let them buy their own gifts. Teaches them about budgeting and buying, and the actual cost of things. You won't love them any less. In fact I think they will be thrilled!

I understood the question you were asking OP. Is this the norm - or is this because of COL crisis?

Personally I think clothes have gone up ridiculously in a very short space of time.

I understood what you were saying anyway - £500 is alot of money and you want to feel like you're spoiling your kids, but at the moment, £500 doesn't seem to go very far.

Do remember there will be Black Friday sales coming up. Might be worth holding off buying anything until then.

And to pad out the gift piles you can't go wrong with some of Boots 3 for 2 stuff.

Also if you have 2 girls or 2 boys - you can divide presents - e.g say you got some totes socks and there's 2 in the pack - you could seperate them out.

But I do think you should stick with family spend traditions. I'm the youngest and therefore my kids are the youngest- if the aunties and whatnot suddenly changed the spend after the last 25yrs of me spending a fortune on their kids, I would be seriously annoyed.

But there are ways to be a bit more inventive if you don't give cash. You could again do Boots 3 for 2, or get things in the sales. It's more effort because - let's face it, cash is easy but if the general value of something is £20 and you get it for £15 - then across multiple kids you can save a bit.

500 pounds per child is excessive and you shouldn't put yourself under pressure to spend that, especially on adult kids. Nor should you stress about spending loads on other relatives. It just gets silly otherwise.