Liam Payne dead

[Anotherdayanothernight]

Just heard on the news abroad he fell from the third floor off a hotel in Buenos Aires, if true it's very sad as he was so young and seemed like a lovely guy

Why though it is what they go on these shows for, instant fame. If they want to do it via pubs and clubs then do it that way. Mind as said upthread Amy Winehouse did it via the pub route. I do believe substance abusers will do it no matter what the trigger is.

The issue is family and managers should drum it into them that this is very short lived, enjoy it while it lasts then have a business plan for 5yrs time that doesn't involve being a popstar. The fame and fortune is surely exciting, it is expecting it to last that seems the bit perhaps that they can't cope with.

I don't blame the hotel workers for selling room pictures etc. 700,000 people in Buenos Aires live in shanty towns. They have poverty unimaginable to us. If selling a picture gets their kids a better life I don't begrudge them.
And who are they selling them to? News and picture agencies, paps etc. We should be looking at the people who create the market.

I've just read Cheryl's statement. That poor little boy growing up without his Dad.
My son lost his Dad just before his fifth birthday. He found his Dad after he had died and couldn't wake him up. He spent a long time being very angry and we still have issues now. 💔 💔 💔

There's an interview where due to his alcohol & pills lifestyle he refers to himself looking bloated and his 'pills & booze' face.

That's probably the real reason he had buccal fat removal and his face done. I'm sure there's part of him that hated his drug addiction and of course a bloated 'pills & booze face' won't win you any lucrative advertising campaigns, which is also what he was interested in.

I see in just three days his death has become a total sordid media circus. People coming out of the woodwork to get their 15 mins in. One of the most disgusting things I saw on the day after he died and reading around and ultimately being led back to Instagram was one of those bra & pantie girls as I call them (you know who take pictures of themselves in lingerie sets with their legs wide open and you think why as they are not on an advertising deal), she may have been ex reality TV person as she had a substantially following - saying how tragic Liam's death was and that she intended to travel to Buenos Aires to uncover what really happened...

He was 14 when he first applied , 14 year old boys aren't necessarily thinking about fame as a whole package.
Doing what you always dreamed of - getting a record deal, singing to crowds of thousands, writing and performing your own songs, making a living out of something you love, getting lots of attention from teenage girls....those are the things that would attract them to go on, and of course they achieved all that, beyond their eildest dreams.

But the cost is the privacy for themselves and their family. Not being able to go out without being recognised or papped. Making all your teenage mistakes in the public eye, having people write all sorts of stuff about you - much of which won't be true, everyone wanting to be your friend but not knowing who to trust, having limited input in how you look, what you say in interviews etc etc ...

My teen DD follows an Instagram page which basically seems to stalk follows Harry Styles.Thry seem to know where he is/what he's doing at any given moment. She's disappointed when there is nothing to report. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to live your life where people are literally sharing your whereabouts every day, even just going to shop, or cycling around London

As an aside, Jason Orange from Take That, chose to walk away from fame, but even on fan pages on SM I've seen people post pictures of him simply walking down the street.

Definitely, but I think fame is addictive in itself which is why they are reluctant to step away from the spotlight when it is all over. But I also think there is more at play, something more psychological about the need to be famous and the need for validation:

Amy Winehouse - I lived in North London and often drank in Camden at the time when she used to get very very wasted and take to the streets behaving erratically while being followed by a pack of paparazzi (anyone else remember this?) and then she'd be on the front page of the Sun, Mirror, Metro and all the other tabloids the following day. This was quite a regular occurrence at that time. This was the period before rehab and before they took her off to that island... and it was a it bit annoying, to be honest. I remember the local paper, The Ham & High, interviewed one of her School or teen friends who said something along the lines of... 'friends around Amy weren't sure about what to do as Amy loved the drama of it all.' That's also quite evident in her song lyrics.

For me, that's probably the most insightful statement I've ever read about Winehouse which would explain why nobody could save her and most importantly why she couldn't save herself. And it wasn't really about the singing, songwriting or her tremendous talent (which she didn't seem to care about and threw it all away) it was about a child damaged by her parents divorce and not feeling that she had enough parental attention or concern (She seemed to crave it from her Dad and their relationship seemed a bit weird) and the only way she could get it would be living on this self-destructive knife edge where they had to be concerned about her all the time - which probably never felt enough for her, and she remained feeling unloved. You could also say that hers was a very public drawn out suicide, one that may have even started before she became famous.

I can't remember who said it (I'm 57), it may have been Marilyn Monroe or Judy Garland but something about people who needed to be famous about normal love not being enough of them and that they needed 'mass love' to soothe the feelings of worthlessness they felt all the time - which is why alcohol & drugs help to block it all out, when the applause stops.

It's better than living in total poverty though isn't it.

Other people have worse lives

What strikes me is how at the time we didn't think anything of it, the XFactor was just Saturday and Sunday night tv. We didn't care about after care or what happens after they leave. There were deliberate attempts to humiliate contestants not just on xafctor but other shows too.

The likes of Wagner, Rylan, and Jedward had the piss taken out of them. I'm not a fan but during Katie Price's second stint on I'm a Celeb she was constantly voted to do the tasks in an mass attempt to humiliate her.

They keep showing the photos of the 1D lads during xfactor and they look so young, far too young to go through all that. Mary Byrne said something lovely the other day about how she was the 'Mammy' during her time on the show and she probably felt the need to be.

Top marks for empathy!

such a shame he didnt carry on singing the way he did in his audition, but i guess that spot was taken by Michael Buble, and hard to break into

I think everyone has empathy for those who self destruct and become substance abusers whatever the trigger. The fact is life is hard for many many people though. Those given such a massive opportunity have to be supported yes, but they need to understand instant stardom comes with a down side and take some responsibility.

So many long tributes from people, he really did seem like a genuinely nice guy surrounded by a lot of people who loved him. It is baffling why that isn't enough for some.

Having just read the beautiful tribute one of the sister's wrote I'm here wondering why such hate for this young man and his family ? Why are there such vicious posts on UK online newspapers tearing her apart, surely they're going through enough pain without this nastiness flung at them. They didn't know them or what they did or didn't do.

The poor father having to fly there, identify his child's body and arrange to bring him home and he stops off at the hotel to collect the belongings of his son, reads the tributes left and he's accused of all sorts, saying he's doing it for media attention and a lot worse. The poor man must be in a daze.

It's really sad to read such hatred pouring from people online, such awful words and accusations, I've only read a few and some of the things are just so bad it's no wonder people in the spot light end up with serious mental health conditions.

I've just read what the fans attempted to do for his father, what a thoughtful gesture. One that shouldn't have been needed.

Directioners are slightly nuts, but v loyal, I know loads from the last 14 years.

I do have empathy for poor people.

I don't agree with people saying that rich millionaires have hard lives.

Right they may have problems. But they have a better life than most people.

I was just chatting to a woman who has to use food banks to feed her kids

There do seem to be a high proportion of people who become very famous young struggling with fame and/or struggling once that fame diminishes. Yet there are many others who don't.

I feel sorry for any young person dying through their own excesses. I feel sorry for his parents. That’s it really.

I agree, it’s so sad. I feel so sorry for his parents, his sisters and his son

Different variables could influence this. Like how large is the comedown? Was the person averagely famous i.e., famous in one just one country, but not really well known out of it. Quite famous; many people were familiar with them, and would stop them for an autograph occasionally, but they're weren't that big a deal and could get on with their lives almost normally. Or were they mega or stella famous? Also how long were they famous for?

Coming down from mega, mega fame in childhood to a life somewhat more ordinary where you struggle to get on in the very industry you originally became famous in, is a huge drop. I can completely understand cracking under a change that huge. You hear about people with millions losing everything overnight and many of those stories end badly, and that's without the burden of having supposedly once meant something huge to millions of people.

Sorry but this is ridiculous. One persons problems do not negate another’s. There are rich people who have lost multiple loved ones and spent their lives in grief. Do they not deserve compassion merely because they have more money? Grief, depression, loneliness, mental health issues - these things don’t care how much money you do or don’t have. They don’t discriminate. They’ll come for you whether you’re in a mansion or on the streets.

This is ignorance at best, snobbish nastiness at worst.

Sorry to say I think you probably need some education about mental health issues & how these relate to substance use. It really is not a simple issue. If it were it could be easily solved & it isn't

Money has nothing to do with quality of life & internal pain & distress. I agree that poverty adds to issues but money doesn't solve problems, it can make addiction worse actually

I don't think they're saying it's anyone's "fault" but it's ok to wonder why people did & didn't do certain things

I'm not sure how actually standing up for poor people, could in any way be called "snobbish nastiness".

And your point is not what i was saying.

Personally I think some very rich people live in a bubble. And they just think of themselves.

I go to a public group. The wealthiest man in the group is always complaining about everything.

I know one of the women in the group has a much harder life, but she doesn't say anything publicly to the group. She told me in private.

He complained on and on and on about his life. Everyone was rolling their eyes.

Sure, have the odd moan

But

It shows a lack of sympathy and empathy for others, to constantly complain about your life ,
when other people have far far worse lives.

Go out and volunteer. See how lucky you have it.

Rest in peace Liam