What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

I have a friend, we shall call her Jane
Dear god yes - the rambling scenario that reads like a bad Alan Ayckbourn play and where everyone's been renamed to avoid 'outing' the op and there's always at least one Janet ... it's enough to make you want to drown yourself in your big salad.

Casual xenophobia

Always describing your house as your ‘property’

All the vague advice to “report” someone, or log something with 101, plus the inaccurate advice to “press charges”.

There’s a thread running at the moment where the OP thinks her neighbour reported the “abandoned” car on her driveway out of racism. Various posters are suggesting she “log this with the council”.

Obviously it’s disgusting if the neighbour is victimising the OP, but “log it with the council”? Do people really think the council keep a huge file on every call about an untaxed car, complete with a list of possible motivations from the caller (who probably never gave his or her name in the first place)?

Not to mention the 'all other women are scheming minxes who are putting the moves on my DH'.

’My style can be described as edgy’ on the S&B boards. They then link to stuff that looks like Primark’s sale rack but with an overly large price tag.

Yes except there's a strange disconnect when it comes to female friends.

"My husband spends all his free time with a woman from work."

"Men and women can be friends you jealous, unhinged, controlling, shrew!!!!"

‘Can you see a line? I took this test an hour after I had sex. I’ve inverted the photo, taken the thing apart and think I can see a hint of a line when squinting and standing on one leg.’

’Yes, I can definitely see something, test again in an hour’.

I’d dearly love to see these husbands that other women just can’t seem to
keep their hands off

I dont like the how old do i look posts really but they seem to encourage real meanness. The sneering incredulity that anyone could possibly be mistaken for younger than they are.
Absolutely anyone and everyone who this has ever happened to is lying or a deluded fool.
A poster will put a pic where they literally could be anywhere between 25 and 40, and others will be falling over themselves to say 60+

I found a pic of myself with DD when she was a baby. I was 29. Teen DD , without me saying anything about it, said I looked like a teenager, and she would rather set fire to herself than pay me a compliment. I'm sure if I posted the pic (I never would) I'd get people telling me I looked 65!

Having itchy teeth,and your piss being boiled! I'd never heard these expressions of irritation before I used Mumsnet! I must admit though that I do like the words 'cock womble' and 'wank badger' as insults!

Well I manage to keep my hands off my own husband so I'm pretty sure other women can keep their hands off him too. 😂

Having 4 DC and calling them Ottilie, Cassius, Elias and Wren

Has anyone been to London with children?

Name change for this one.

Quoting the Mail while pretending to despise it,

…cutted up pears, Pom bears, naice ham…just to prove I’m genuine though!

@tortiecat Ooooh you'd love me (not!) I do vacuum the whole house daily (lots of pets though) and the bathroom/kitchen are cleaned daily- can I have a gold 🌟?
I am NC with my parents although I am close to my sibling.
I am insanely jealous of people that have help with their children, we did indeed both work full time from my children being babies and had no help with child care (#notaweakling).
I was feeling like the mn stereotype and then I remembered my (much less) than 6 figure salary and general dislike of Toast/Boden/Uniqlo and came back down to earth with a bump 🤣

People not being able to write/spell I’ve. Putting it as Iv - really odd, I’ve never seen it anywhere except on this forum!

I dont like the how old do i look posts really
I've always assumed they're not real - why would anyone do that to themself

‘Marking my place.’

Always reminds me of a dog pissing up a lamp post.

On a recent thread on keeping fit they are all….
walking the dog miles every morning then they cycle to work, swimming later and or gym every day, followed by pilates and park runs at the weekend.
When someone asked how they managed to fit all this in with work /kids etc
I prioritise my health was the answer.
Blimey.

Thriving.

Never before have so many people thrived in one place.

Don’t forget losing your shit… those who get itchy teeth and boiling piss often seem to lose their shit too

And of course FUMING and LIVID!