Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

No point in denying the facts They wanted someone with a different sort of personality. Doesn’t mean hers was a BAD personality.

They wanted someone who’d be enthusiastic about all that TikTok rubbish. It’s ok to not be that person.

Mmm.
Whatever they say, I bet someone's sister/auntie/friend wants the job.

100% agree, but that’s not a problem with the OP’s personality, that’s as issue with the culture they want to create and how they didn’t tell that story effectively at interview.

I had this, almost word for word, about 25 years ago! I was called into the office and they asked who was this ‘mouse’ in front of them, compared to the bubbly personality that interviewed? It was a full on, fast moving industry and I had been trying to learn as quickly as possible - not spending time laughing and joking as I didn’t think that was what was expected of me!

It was such a relief to walk out that front door and never look back.

Do yourself a favour, find another job - somewhere that appreciates you, this bunch don’t seem to have any idea of decorum - especially, as you say, as a dental receptionist!

This is a pathetic excuse from them and I don't know if it's even legal, but would be difficult to fight if you're not in a Union. But you don't want to stay there anyway do you? And although it's unfair I can't see you getting compensation. I hope you can get another job soon.

That's really rubbish for you OP. You might have a case for unfair dismissal due to sex discrimination if you could be bothered to fight it, on the basis of bubbly and girl. This is not language that would ever be used for a man. But you might decide that it's really not worth the hassle and just want to move on.

Her personality’s fine. THEY have a problem with it. That’s fine too.

Personally, I don't want "bubbly" when I go to the dentist's office. I want friendly, coupled with calm and reassuring. "Bubbly" just sends me up the wall.

Would they say that to a man?
No, didn't think so. Out and out discrimination. Twats. They're living in another century if they are still expecting women to perform like little showgirls for the clientelle.

Name and shame them on Glass Door! And Google!

That sounds like they were looking for someone to be sexually harassed.

I prefer empathy and professionalism at the dentist. I reckon they have someone close they want to take your job.

OP - I did loads of admin temp stuff in the 90s and experienced this kind of attitude back then, which was bad enough but to experience it now is shocking. This is nothing to do with you. Just move on from it. Please be happy that you weren’t what they were looking for. You don’t want to be like those other girls and it sounds like you are great. Enjoy your next job where you will be accepted for who you are and you can be true to yourself.

Yes 1000%, sounds like they are expecting things from you that were not detailed in the job description

The receptionist quizzing me is the last thing I want when I’m going to the dentist.
They have probably done you a favour op as it doesn’t sound a great place to work.

Oh good god !
Yes someone who’s waiting for their root canal treatment wants “ bubbly “ 🙄.
What I appreciate at our dentists is warm, welcoming , efficient and professional.
You’d be better suited to my dental surgery for example where it’s a mix of dental patients and the best most reassuring dental nurse works there + a lovely hygienist

How bloody ridiculous, what a bunch of losers. You’re better off out of there, I don’t want someone at the dentist acting like an airhead pain in the arse, just someone pleasant and efficient.
it could be that since they gave you the job someone’s got a daughter or a friend of a friend needs a job so they’ve done the last one in, first one out routine and co e up with a crap reason. absolutely not your fault, you’ve done nothing wrong. Tell them to do one.

Have you read the OP’s follow up posts?

Presumably your practice offers standard dentistry services to the over 30’s and doesn’t focus on flogging injectables, employ mostly 20yr old glamour girls and waste time doing stupid TikTok videos?

The practice the OP was working for is clearly after the TikTok generation who are more interested in cosmetic procedures rather than fillings and root canal work. I guess it must be considered far more lucrative if that’s the model they’re following?

I think the OP sounds like the sort of excellent receptionist you’d probably employ so she’s well out of it in my opinion.

I really think the GDC should properly investigate some of these ‘modern’ dental surgeries as they sound very unprofessional to me.

What a set of nobs. I don't beleive that's their reason. They made it up. And do you have anything in writing to state their reason? I would be taking this further as unfair dismissal or discrimination. Cheeky sods.

Speak to ACAS . Age and sex discrimination. Think of any other comments made along those lines too.

Oh good grief, I can’t imagine walking into a waiting room and the receptionist being over friendly !
i have a fear of needles and frankly if I was sat in a waiting room waiting for my teeth to be done and the receptionist was giggling and full of energy I’d probably leave!!
I think friendly and smiley is enough, bubbly is too much and unprofessional!
Can you maybe go back to your prior job? Walk straight into a hotel job till you find something else?…..
When my daughter and I had to go to A&E a few years ago, we checked in and the receptionist there was awful….. she didn’t even read the doctors note we’d been sent with which should’ve got us to the front of the queue and seen immediately… anyway she then proceeded to sit and chat about her recent hair appointment to her colleague … after 20 minutes of sat waiting and seeing kids go in who’s parents had a job to keep them still (weren’t incredibly poorly) I went up to reception again and said we really NEEDED to be seen as my DD was incredibly sick & in danger…. She rolled eyes and said there were 4 in front of us!!!…… my door daughter was barely conscious at this point and thankfully I had been texting a friend and she’d called the actual A&E and complained that we were sat in the waiting room with a child in severe DKA…. A nude came shooting out of a side door and took us in (we hadn’t needed to wait and get assessed as jd already seen a GP)….. He wanted to call an ambulance but said driving would be quicker and we needed to pack for a week (his words)… we then spent a horrendous evening in A&E followed by 48 hours in the HDU…. So no I don’t want ‘bubbly’ from a receptionist…. I want someone who is friendly and approachable but still professional & calm!!

I think they’ve done you a favour, you don’t want to work for somewhere so unprofessional … I wonder if you can complain somewhere? I know you were still under probabtion so easy to ‘let go’… but surely there’s still some protection in place, places can’t just fire you for not giggling enough!?!?

NURSE NOT NUDE 😂😂😱

Looks like it's time to look for a new job, that can better support you. All the best 🙏

Labour is going to put in a clause soon that rather than 2 years you can claim unfair dismissal alot earlier from day one . So all them lot slagging labour off on other posts might actually be greatful when it comes to situations like this.
I am sorry for your sacking

I have yet to meet a smiling dental receptionist.

@Underyourthumb The not signing the TikTok thing is 100% the reason they fired you go & I imagine the husband ok’s all the hires & fires!
Speak to a solicitor about unfair dismissal because they haven’t even given you a chance to settle in before making judgements on you & how you behave when your behaviour isn’t even inappropriate!

Can you contact the person you replaced & ask them why they ‘left’!
Sounds like a very male controlled work environment, not in a good way & there may have been an issue with her too!