Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Yeah - it sounds like a really weird reason to fire someone. Also, no chance to allow you to improve..what if you’d just had a bereavement? It’s beyond bizarre!

also I would never want people being‘bubbly’ when I’m going to the dentist OR getting a face full of fillers..I want people who are pleasant and professional-
im not there to make friends or have a party!

please don’t take their remarks personally- they sound nuts!

This. They sound like they are very strongly going for the tweakments (ghastly word but you know what I mean) market.

They want to give the impression that the office is a laugh a minute glamorous social hub where the cool people hang out and it’s fun, fun fun all the way and if you have the veneers, the Botox, the fillers, you too can live the dream.

Any actual work is done off camera and the staff are expected to pretend they spend most of their time socialising and chatting (while also being expected to get all the work done, of course).

They are getting the staff to advertise without having to pay actors’ wages plus getting actual office work out of them as well.

How bizarre, sounds like they're looking for.a character! Its rare to find someone exactly like that, who wants that kind of job. They'll be searching years for this fictional character! If you're on probation I think they can get rid of you. I hope you find a better job soon.

Call ACAS, this sounds like discrimination based on sex and that means you can claim unfair dismissal even if you have only been there for three weeks. See what ACAS say but maybe write to the owners of the practice and get a paper trail for what happened. Quote exactly who said what in the email. "I was suprised when XXX said that I wasn't bubbly enough " or whatever the wording was.
Best to wait to see what ACAS say though.

One of my daughters is a mathematician and works in a Financial job in the city, she still got called "bubbly" in written feedback from one of the partners who thought it was an appropriate and complimentary way to describe a young professional woman. The funny thing is that you would never describe her as 'bubbly' but she has long blond hair and is slim and pretty so looks like she is meant to be 'bubbly' 🫤. She was fuming and let the partner (older male) know that it wasn't ok.

they’re always doing daft TikTok’s and things and you had to sign an agreement to be in them. I didn’t sign it because honestly I just don’t want to do it. They never mentioned this part of the job in the interview, and it wasn’t in the job description

Because they know that a lot of people would be turned off by it, thereby reducing their pool of candidates. They'd rather hire the person and use the potential threat of a job loss to pressure them to consent. It's deceitful and sneaky.

Surely there is a shortage of dentists, why the crazy marketing? I would hope my dentist's motivation would be to help me out of pain, not be so concerned about attracting clients that like a laugh and are going to entertain them too.

It's a highly respected medical profession, not Love Island.

Ah, hadn't thought about this aspect - makes sense now.

Wouldn't want to be part of it when all those veneers fail, anyhow.

I know of at least 4 dental practices nearby who’ve now started doing cosmetics. I don’t understand it, as they were private anyway, not NHS, so I thought already had a good profit model. I guess injectables and the like are really a good money-spinner, especially with the backing of highly qualified staff and good premises.

Presumably, in that case, they fired you because you refused to sign an agreement to do something pretty ridiculous that wasn't part of the job description. And if it had been part of the job description, you presumably wouldn't have applied. And instead of at least being open about why they don't want you, they try to imply that it's your personality.

They basically seem to want their staff to do public relations for them, because hiring an actual public relations person, even very part-time, would be expensive. Not that it's the sort of public relations that would seem highly suitable for attracting clients for a dentist!

Depends on the type of dentist. If they specialise in cosmetic dentistry / injectables this sounds like it would actually be efficient marketing.

It’s not aimed at people of 30+ who just want their teeth looked at - people like that aren’t nearly as profitable.

We can't win in this world, I was told I was too friendly with the customers where I work.
I always thought good customer service was about getting to know your customers. Which I do, I know what they want so when something comes in I know they'd like I'll point them in the right direction which often leads on to add in sales!!
I also chat and listen because you never know what people are going through and 1 thing I may say could help.
Keep being you and sod them

I saw something posted on Facebook from my Dentist, I can’t remember what it was now but I remember thinking, this isn’t really professional and I would hate to participate if I worked there.

I wouldn’t take this personally at all as it sounds like they would have been shit to work for…Lucky escape! There’s nothing worse than being faced with someone who’s over the top, putting on their fake voice being overly nice.

Discrimination? You should take advice and call ACAS

When I check in, I want someone polite, friendly, knowledgable and helpful. I don't want some giggling, bubbly mess. I think its really harsh to do this to you, they could have had a chat but to fire you seems excessive and honestly a bit odd?! Maybe you've dodged a bullet!

Sounds to me that you are better off out of there. Don’t change for anyone. There is a job out there for you, so pick yourself up and get out there and find it 👍🏻

They didn't set their expectations very well did they? And to decide after 3 weeks without giving you chance to settle in. If that's what they wanted they should have been very clear. You've had a lucky escape @Underyourthumb imagine what other expectations they might have and not tell you about, like upselling etc!!!

Btw, you sound like a spot on customer service professional to me. I bet the customers didn't think you weren't doing your job.

Your employment rights are not solid until you've been with a company for 2 years. Less than 2 years and a company can finish you generally without consequences.

Unless they mentioned something in your termination meeting that is deemed a protected characteristic (see the link below) then you most likely would not have a case.

Just chalk it up to an employer you've dodged a bullet with, and try to put it behind you.

www.gov.uk/discrimination-your-rights#:~:text=you%20can%20do-,Types%20of%20discrimination%20(%27protected%20characteristics%27),sexual%20orientation

Make a TikTok explaining what they did to you. See how their patients like that. You’ve nothing to lose! Surely this must be illegal? Even if you were on a trial period, if you proved you can do the job, were professional, articulate and punctual, then sacking you for your personality must be illegal.

I’d absolutely hate to go to a dentist where everyone is done up and in their 20s! I always feel so uncomfortable in those places. I’m sorry you have been fired. They sound horrible and you are better off not working there.

Crikey I don’t think I’ve ever had a chat with a dental receptionist. Not they are rude just it goes I’m lovelysummerdays and I have an appointment at three. They check the screen. Tell you to have a seat. That’s it. Pay them on the way out or sign for dc. IIts not a chatty place tbh.

I don’t know about this, it sounds auch a weird reason to fire someone it might be an excuse. Maybe they have a friend or relative who unexpectedly wants the job or something and they just needed to say something to get rid of you and that’s all they could think of. This happened to my daughter, she had been really ill and kept having to call in sick for weeks, totally beyond her control and she even tried to go back before she was even quite better. They fired her because they said they needed someone ‘more
reliable’! She found out an old employee they liked was moving back into the area and wanted the job back! I’m not sure if this was legal!

My own dentist’s receptionists are friendly enough but much more important is how efficient they are at sorting out appointments, ringing me if there’s a cancellation so I can get in sooner, etc. Do I want someone being ‘bubbly’ when I am going in for half an hour of horrible drilling or something equally nasty?

Whatever the reason, you’re better off out of it!

Was the person who was doing the job before you an extrovert and extremely bubbly, and they are expecting you to be a carbon copy of her?

It sounds like you are being bullied, and I think this would be enough to make me want to look for another job ASAP.

Honestly I think they used this an an excuse for a reason to let you go because they don’t have the correct skills to manage the situation. Unfortunately if you have only been there three weeks and in probation they can just let you go for no reason and you can’t sue for unfair dismissal (which is exceptionally difficult to win). Who knows why they have done this? They should have asked you to be more friendly/outgoing or whatever and set their expectations clearly instead of just firing you This smacks of they don’t think you fit for whatever reason (no fault of yours) or they realise they don’t need you. Being bubbly isn’t a negative thing but there is more here than they are saying.

Sorry this happened to you. Things like this can knock your confidence when young. Like others have said though, try to reframe it, it’s them not you.

if it helps I have a friend who is a dental hygienist and has been for over 20 years. She got a new job where after a few days she got v similar nonsense from the dentist, that other people didn’t find her friendly or approachable enough . Knowing my friend, how lovely, approachable and how much patients love her, she saw this immediately for what it was - nonsense. When my friend tried to bat this nonsense off, the dentist started criticising her even more and the character assassination intensified. So my friend quit and left as she could clearly see that they were the problem, not her. As others have said, it sounds really like you are dealing with a dentist who is toxic or maybe has serious problems of some nature. You had a lucky escape from toxic people. Onwards and upwards.

When I go to my dentist, I want the receptionist to be polite and efficient. If I want to be entertained, I'll go to the cinema or theatre thanks.