And AGAIN, where the hell was the father?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8elyx27p56o

Not suggesting he is responsible for their deaths but.....

They lived in squalor, the toilet and bath were both unusable due to being filled with rubbish so they used pots and buckets instead. He knew that the mother left them to go to the local shop and appears to be fine with that, and describes her as a "good mother". WTF?!

Two sets of twins in under two years and where the hell was he? Even in a strong team working marriage that would be a struggle, but a single mother doing it.....

I am not making excuses for her. What she did both before their deaths and in what caused their deaths was inexcusable. But if you knew that your childs other parent was struggling to that extent then you should step up, and if you dont know then you are not involved enough in their lives to know that they are living in filth.

He isnt directly responsible for their deaths but he is surely guilty of neglect?! How the fucking hell has not been charged with that?!

Agreed. Shameful that all blame falls on the mother. She needed help and the social workers signed her off too.

They were failed by everyone

Those poor boys

I agree. As you say a strong relationship would struggle with four children so young. Most parents would find it a challenge. But this woman was left to it. As you say, no excuse but she was failed, the children more so.

Agreed. That quote from the chief inspector is cold as fuck:
Det Ch Insp Samantha Townsend said: “This has been a difficult investigation for everyone involved. Deveca Rose was the very person who should have protected and nurtured the four boys, but instead, put her own self-interest above their safety."

Awful tragedy.

Why do I have an image in my head of a bloke who brags about his super sperm creating two sets of twins and how proud he is of "my boys" whilst actually doing naff all to help raise them and paying fucking nothing towards their upkeep?

The same thoughts went through my head too. Poor kids 😢

Absolutely appalling. She is the lowest of the low. Utterly thick and useless. I hope she never sees the light of day. However I fear she’ll be be a mother again one day. Those poor kids. As for the father. Words fail me. Where was everyone else? School? Social workers? Neighbours? The house sounded like a cesspit. Shocking.

The report said there's no doubt she loved them. WTF. If that's love..

Also, not guilty of child cruelty. Again, how?

How can he be blamed. He didn't even live in the house.

He clearly had contact with them. Yes he can’t be blamed for the fire but he knew she left them alone when she went out. He also must have had an idea of the state of the house. He could have helped.

The father described her as a 'good mother'. She called him as soon as it happened so they were clearly in touch. He should be charged with neglect.

Well he should have been. Where was he?? Clearly not doing fuck all to look after his family.
If he had been there maybe they would be alive today.

after they split he went on to have another child fgs

There’s a surprise

I've read that she stopped contact with him and all of his family.
His mother (kids grandmother) gave an interview where she said they had contacted social services about their concerns.

There will be an enquiry after the guilty verdict.

A lot of neglectful parents love their kids but love is not enough. I'm in a job where I deal with a lot of children known to social care and their parents do love them but for whatever reason can't or won't make their lives better or accept help to do so. The mother in this case refused social care intervention and took the children out of school and nursery

Not enough information. He may not have ever been in the house for all we know. People can present an image of everything being OK when it isn't. We just don't know what happened to lead to this. She may have given an appearance of being in control.

How many of us have inspected our neighbours house, we just assume all is OK.

I was ranting the same at my phone when I saw the article. If he didn’t know the house was a literal shit tip he bloody well should have. If he did, what the fuck was he doing leaving them suffering in there.

The father, who wasn't living with his children at the time, added that he was "not aware" she had left them for "any length of time" or for any reason other than to get "supplies" and that, overall, she had been a "good mum".

He knew they were being left alone but only for a bit, so that’s okay. Just while she was off out shopping? Yeah, absolutely fine.

Literally incomprehensible.

As to the judge saying she was a loving mum, I just can’t.

If you split from your husband/partner would you expect him to go on living with you.

If someone asked on social media whether someone could sit with their kids for half an hour so they could nip to the kebab shop, is anyone going to offer?

Would it be different if someone asked for someone to sit whilst she went to get Calpol?

I can see how someone with two sets of twins that age would struggle, might live in a messy house and might think I’ll only pop to the shop next door for a minute while they’re sleeping, but the fire was started by a cigarette or a tea light and it sounds like it wasn’t just a messy house, it was squalor. Anyone normal would ask for help, there would be no shame in asking for help in that situation. Those poor boys.

This is what I was thinking. He didn't live with them and for all we know, she presented in control of raising the boys. I don't think he's to blame at all. It's a truly tragic case, those poor kids.

Unconscious bias is why.

You're viewing the father negatively. Without any facts to back it up.

’They were only left alone for a bit’.

Long enough for a cigarette end or tea light to start a fire, that fire to take hold, the children to notice and hide, someone else to notice, call the fire brigade and for them to attend. She got back to the firemen putting out the fire. That is not a five minute run to the shop for milk.

The point is that if he knew enough to be ok with her leaving them alone to get "supplies" and that she was a "good mother" then why the hell didnt he step in when his kids were living in squalor?

By not stepping up he is guilty of neglect. That statement from the police suggesting that there was only one person who should have been caring for them is wrong! They had two parents and only one of them was actually trying to do it. Yes she failed, yes she neglected them but she isnt the only one who failed or neglected them. My point isnt that she shouldnt be in prison, but that their father should be charged too.