Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Ever met someone you later learned had done something really bad? **Content warning: thread contains mentions of child abuse**

919 replies

user2848502016 · 03/10/2024 20:19

Just asking because a few months ago someone I worked with suddenly stopped coming to work... then we found out he had been found guilty of possessing child porn 😬
He hadn't been working with us for long so didn't know him that well but he just seemed like a nice, slightly boring middle aged man! I know you can't ever tell by looking at someone but it just made me think anyone I know could be doing anything behind closed doors.....

Thread titled edited by MNHQ to add a content warning

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
crazyunicornlady73 · 10/10/2024 21:59

I was quite friendly for a while with a vicar who then turned out to have stolen tens of thousands of pounds off the church. It was a big local scandal.

We also had a man joining our hobby group who, when we got to know him, it turned out he was awaiting trial for possessing images of child abuse...we asked him to leave and he couldn't understand why.

TouchOfSilverShampoo · 12/10/2024 18:50

This was my childhood babysitter - www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/8985777.bobby-louch-killer-mum-colette-harris-has-appeal-refused/

mushypeasontoast · 12/10/2024 18:56

Went to school with, and met at reunions David Carrick.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 12/10/2024 20:27

Homebird8 · 04/10/2024 23:44

The incident with the pee in the allotments is very similar to my 10 year old sister meeting a chap at the local park whilst she was waiting for her friend to join her. He asked her to keep watch whilst he had a pee in the bushes. She came home behaving strangely and told mum what had happened when she asked. The police were called and DSis got a ride in a police car when they went out all together to look for him. This was the 1970s so perhaps attitudes and police interest varied from place to place. Mind you, my DM wasn't someone a young police officer would be likely to say no to!

Oh my god this must have been a really well known ruse - I was once let out of school to go to the dentist - single parent family, parent at work so when I had to go I would just walk there from school by myself. I must have been about 9 at the time. Anyway, guy asked me to keep watch and then asked if I had ever seen a man. I started to walk away calmly (I remember thinking I had to keep calm) until I was far enough he could not grab me and then running like hell to get back to school. I dont think I ever told anyone though.

Bethany83 · 12/10/2024 21:40

The Catholic Priest who married me. It is hard to understand as he seemed like a particularly genuinely warm person when he is clearly a monster. It makes me feel sometimes that my marriage can't even be true in the sacramental sense as it was carried out by a monster so to speak.

Sharontheodopolodous · 13/10/2024 07:05

Not me but a friend of mine

Long before I moved to where I am now,she'd just been given the keys to her (then new) council house

She'd moved in with her disabled son and had her long term boyfriend moved in on a semi permanent basis-hed spend most of his time at hers and a few nights in his own place

Anyway,this boyfriend (now ex) had a friend who my friend hated

He gave her the creeps and she refused to allow him in the house if she was alone

One day,this bloke popped round to see the boyfriend but he was out so my mate sent him packing-the boyfriend told my friend (once he got home later) that this bloke knew he was at work and had no reason to go round

It all came out in the wash that this bloke Alun Kyte had just murdered a sex worker,dumped her body and headed straight round to my friends house for a cuppa and god knows what else

My friend was friends with the victim he'd just killed and alun kyte knew this

A shock to everyone who knew him-a few women have said he was a 'bit creepy,but harmless'

Fernticket · 14/10/2024 16:22

Ursulla · 04/10/2024 16:36

When I was at school one of the boys had a real fascination with pushing things up his nose. Crayons, chalk, pencil sharpeners, they all went in there.

Ladies, that little boy grew up to be Donald Trump.

No suprises there 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

GiddyRobin · 14/10/2024 16:37

When DH and I lived in Leeds, we had a flat by the university. Most of them were used by the lecturers/visiting academics, but there was one house with an older man who stood out. He'd stand outside and smoke, trying to chat to passing people.

DH always felt very uncomfortable around him; he snatched his violin from him once under the guise of asking to hold it. I felt similarly, but thought maybe he was just lonely as he was well spoken and seemed to have all of his faculties. I tried to be nice but cool, keeping hellos brief. He took a liking to me.

Stalking started. Someone left the main door to our building open, and he got in. The residents of the building decorated the hallways leading to each flat, and outside ours we'd put a coat rack, a table with flowers, and a few other bits. I came home to find my coat missing. It happened again, and this time he'd slid a note under the door asking for me to call him with a lot of suggestive innuendos.

DH went absolutely apeshit. Ended up stopping him from going around there, and we called the police. Gave the crime and name. They called back half an hour later telling me to stay away from him, he was extremely dangerous. I asked what he'd done and was told "we can't tell you, but implore you to cease all contact."

I don't known what happened but he wasn't there a week later.

Later found out from someone in DH's department that this guy was an arsonist, and he'd also been in prison for assault of minors. Seemed everyone but us knew as we weren't there long term.

LBFseBrom · 15/10/2024 15:32

Yes I have, not only met the person but knew him, thought a lot of him, looked up to him. I was not the only one to feel that way about him.

When things started to come out about his sexual inclinations, very many years later when he was an old man, it was in a way a terrible shock, however when I looked back there were clues and signs. When you are a teenager, as I was and so were others, you don't see them or, if you do maybe once, you feel you've got it wrong. In any case, nobody would have believed us back then, such things were not talked about and this man was highly regarded.

Tdcp · 15/10/2024 16:30

there was a really nice blind man with a guide dog where I lived. He was nice to all the kids etc. He was arrested about 5 years ago for r**g boys aged 6 and under. We also had 3 paedophiles in my secondary school, 1 was very prolific and is serving 25 years in prison.

wavingfuriously · 16/10/2024 23:59

Rubyandscarlett · 03/10/2024 22:32

Worked with a very effaminate lad - he is in prison for stabbing someone to death noe

😯

wavingfuriously · 17/10/2024 00:21

Think looking at child sexual abuse may be more common than most people think. Used to do IT work in a small team south london. One of the services offered was securely wiping computer hard drives...the amount of dodgy looking obviously single middle aged men that came in requesting that service....😯

SpanielLarusso · 19/10/2024 21:24

Worked with a couple of paedophiles, one got 18 years for abusing kids in his scout group. Neither came as a shock, both had weird vibes around them

My mum was cared for in hospital by Beverly Allitt 🤢 and my sibling was born there exactly when she was committing her crimes

Alltheyearround · 20/10/2024 13:58

Bethany83 · 12/10/2024 21:40

The Catholic Priest who married me. It is hard to understand as he seemed like a particularly genuinely warm person when he is clearly a monster. It makes me feel sometimes that my marriage can't even be true in the sacramental sense as it was carried out by a monster so to speak.

@Bethany83 So sorry to hear this. It's such a betrayal when someone you trust whole heartedly turns out to not be who you thought they were. Especially a priest who should be beyond reproach, a living example of goodness and faith. Sadly there has been something very wrong in the Catholic church around men and sex for a very long time. It's one of the many reasons I am lapsed.

If there is a god, then a priest is only an intermediary between you and them.
In the eyes of god, your marriage is valid, it's a holy sacrament. No-one can take that away, or diminish it, not a rotten priest, not anyone. Marriage and family is one way that good can come about in this sorry world, by supporting each other and holding each other up and striving for what's best in each other. That's a very beautiful thing, love. That's what's sacred here. How we cherish each other and care for one another. If you imagine Jesus looking at what happened to you, he would speak with compassion, but I am sure his wrath would be fierce on those who harm the innocent (that includes you as well as this man's other abuse victims).

I hope the priest and all his kind get whats coming them in this life or the next.
I know forgiveness is the better path but quite honestly I can't find it in my heart for these people who cause so much suffering.

Bethany83 · 20/10/2024 17:07

Alltheyearround · 20/10/2024 13:58

@Bethany83 So sorry to hear this. It's such a betrayal when someone you trust whole heartedly turns out to not be who you thought they were. Especially a priest who should be beyond reproach, a living example of goodness and faith. Sadly there has been something very wrong in the Catholic church around men and sex for a very long time. It's one of the many reasons I am lapsed.

If there is a god, then a priest is only an intermediary between you and them.
In the eyes of god, your marriage is valid, it's a holy sacrament. No-one can take that away, or diminish it, not a rotten priest, not anyone. Marriage and family is one way that good can come about in this sorry world, by supporting each other and holding each other up and striving for what's best in each other. That's a very beautiful thing, love. That's what's sacred here. How we cherish each other and care for one another. If you imagine Jesus looking at what happened to you, he would speak with compassion, but I am sure his wrath would be fierce on those who harm the innocent (that includes you as well as this man's other abuse victims).

I hope the priest and all his kind get whats coming them in this life or the next.
I know forgiveness is the better path but quite honestly I can't find it in my heart for these people who cause so much suffering.

Thank you so much, that is very kind of you to send such a long and helpful message, I do appreciate it.

And yes, thankfully he is in prison now.

Norma27 · 22/10/2024 13:10

I’m just watching tv and killer in my village has just come on about the murder of Roy Tutill. Took 30 years to catch his killer and I used to drink in the same pub as him and chat to him. A truly evil man but I thought he was ok at the time.
A man I worked with went to prison in his 70s for horrific online offences and attempting to travel abroad to rape a baby. Again I had no idea he was so evil. He got over 20 years which gives an idea and it was his first time in prison.

asdfgasdfg · 30/10/2024 20:28

A girl I was at school with 50 years ago. When she was a baby her mum jumped off a cliff with friend and little brother. Mum and boy died, friend survived.

Ginkypig · 30/10/2024 21:08

sorrythetruthhurts · 03/10/2024 21:22

Porn is just defined as sexually explicit material, consensual isn't part of it.

revenge porn isn't consensual, neither is a lot of commercial porn because you can't tell if people have been used in sex trafficking etc

No but normally with revenge porn the images are originally made with the consent of the person appearing in them even if they did not ever want them to be shared.

they were an adult and chose to have their image made.

the other point is separate too although agree and would label that as images of sexual abuse too but I know that without knowing it is hard to put a term as you normally don’t know.

it is absolutely not comparable to a child being abused and images being made of it.
every single one made is an image or video of a child being sexually abused, there’s no ambiguity about it.

i don’t really understand why you would want to argue the point. I would have thought that most people would not have a problem with the term being accurate to what actually happened rather than giving it a title which brings lifelong pain to the people in the images.

Ginkypig · 30/10/2024 21:25

to add actually maybe revenge porn is the wrong term too.

the word porn shouldn’t really be used for anything other than (as far as know because of course we can’t for definite) consensual images moving or not knowingly at the time specifically made to be distributed.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread