Would you be happy with a stranger giving your DC a lift?

[friendsofatune]

12 year old, Year 7.

School is on the edge of nearby village. Bus turned up and drove off without stopping, despite him standing there

Woman saw what happened when getting in her car, asked if he was okay (he was crying), and said she would drive him

Journey was 5/6 minutes long. About 50/60 minutes if walking it.

Is this overstepping the mark and scary behaviour that a complete stranger would do this?

@friendsofatune glad you came back when things were a bit calmer!

I have twice been lambasted for kindnesses towards children by their parents. Both times left me feeling very aggrieved.

The first was when I was an early twenty something. I was a student in my home city and my much younger sister called me to say her night out had gone badly wrong, several of her friends were drunk (they were about 13) and could I help them all get home. I think my Dad might have suggested she ring me as he had had a drink, It was close to finals so I was boringly studying in my flat so went out to collect them and dropped them all home in suburbia (taxis cost ££££ to get there).

The father of one of the girls (who hadn’t been able to parent taxi as he had been drinking) then gave me the Nth degree about who I was, was I a safe driver, died my car have insurance etc. I eventually told him to phone my Dad if he had an issue and drove off. He then chased my car down the road. 20years later my sister and her friends still talk about it!!

The other time was when I rescued a toddler who was walking down the middle of my parents suburban street. 70s estate - no fencing between front gardens but enclosed back gardens. Kids that age wouldn’t normally be allowed to play out on the street. No one else was around at all (term time so older kids in school). I took the kid to his house and promptly got yelled at by his mother despite me explaining I’d found him in the middle of the road.

To be fair to her she did laterxapologise saying that she was just so shocked she hadn’t known how to react.

Sorry for your loss OP. And I’m sure your DS feels that loss too.

I'm quite sad that pp on here are questioning why a 12 yr old who is worried, and shocked would cry. I would cry if I was upset/ frustrated / worried.

What is wrong with a normal human emotion? He is only 12.

I’d use the opportunity for you both to go over what will happen next time ( and there will be a next time for sure!).

Your son has a point i think we as parents now scare kids alot more where they might start thinking that every stranger out there is going to hurt them.I have given strangers lift and my kids saw that as being helpful and I have taken help from strangers when offered as,I wanted my kods to see that we live in a world where everyone is trying to help each other but also, be wary and they know stranger danger your son seems smart

As a mum myself I would absolutely have offered that poor 12 year old a 5 min lift and wouldn't have thought twice about it. I wouldn't be telling your son off OP but I would be putting plans in place to avoid this scenario in the future (and would be calling the bus company to complain).

Absolutely horrified to see some of these posts. I also totally understand why the poor boy was crying - he'd only just started high school and he didn't want to be late.

Poor lad. I think some days I'd feel like crying if I missed my bus and needed to be somewhere! He was prob worried about getting in to trouble for being late, or how he'd make it there at all!!

Although the whole stranger danger thing is something to rightly be concerned about, I think he showed a good analysis of the situation.

The lady who gave him a lift obv witnessed and immediately reacted to him being left upset by the bus driving off - it's not like she manipulated him in to a situation where he was alone and she could prey on him.

I think this is a good lesson for him. And ultimately as he gets older he may need to rely on the kindness of strangers on occasion.

Ask him next time to TEXT you if your phone is on silent. And he could have then texted the car reg just to be on the safe side

I think it's utterly bizarre you have taken problem with a 12yr old crying over a missed bus - The child would have been distressed, anxious, panicking, probably didn't know the way to walk, is too far to walk. All kinds of thoughts probably running through their head. You sound quite cold in saying that. Humans cry....it's a thing called 'emotions'.

Apologies for my post. I've been caught up in something that has bothered me all my life (there were loads more over the years) but this has stuck in my mind for all these years.

Have come across a similar situation and phoned the child's parents from my own mobile to ask if it was OK. He was out on his own in a park and a group of boys was chasing him, he was scared so I said I'll walk beside you, so they backed off. Sad thing is he only lived 2 streets away but his Mum had allowed him to go on his own (he was about 7/8). My instincts just kicked in, I was with my own child and dog, so offered to drive him home but to check it was OK with his Mum first. Her response was, like yeah, alright, he usually just walks home. Barely a thank you for helping him and making sure he got home safely, more a wasn't expecting him back so soon. Dreadful, I felt so sad for the boy.

This, so next time a child needs help she will walk by in case some ungrateful parent has a go at her. Are you for real?

I don't see an issue with this who in their right mid. Would leave a crying stranded child. We have regular issues there's about 15 kids in the little village we live in and only one bus and hour Sometimes it doesn't turn up at all and the kids get negative marks for not getting in on time and if they miss the after school one it's dark before he next one. Most of the kids have mobiles and the local area has a FB group so as soon as it becomes apparent that the bus hasn't shown up, as our son goes in our vehicle and it being a 9 seater we always put a note up on the fb group saying how many seats we have and that we'll call past bus step we usually get one or two other drivers. Some who just do it out of the goodness of their heart rather than having anything to do with school or kids. You probably do need to talk to your kids about what your happy with and if this was to happen again whether they could accept a lift or if there is someone they can call. But honestly I'd be devastated if that was smy. Child and someone doesn't offer to help. I know if it happened to my son whose 11 he'd panic so I'd hope he had some kind sole who could offer him a lift. But he also knows that if he was going to get in a car with anyone whether that's his friends parents or a stranger he needs to text let us know and tell us everything he can about them including their reg. Car colour and description of the person, name etc.

If there was a toddler in the car and he got to school or home safely I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Kindness of strangers. I was flagged down by an OAP last week and he asked for a lift to the gym. As I had a school aged child in the car I gave him a lift.

As a very insecure youngster with absolutely no confidence, I think I may well have cried in this situation when I was 12. Unfortunately not everybody is blessed with the confidence and bravado that gets you through life as you get older. Going back to the message though I do think this woman overstepped albeit that it came from a place of care and concern. I also think you need to have a word with your DS about getting into a car with a stranger as this is potentially very dangerous