I really value sleep and think it is so important that they go to bed at a decent hour, but somehow bedtime with my 2 daughters now takes longer than it did when they were little. We need a reset and I’m interested to know how it works for other people.
I’ll go up with the 11 year old at about 7:30. We’ll sometimes listen to a podcast while doing some colouring, or we’ll both sit quietly reading. It’s lights out at 8:00. Ideally then I’ll go downstairs for a bit, but she will often appear several times wanting to be put back to bed saying she can’t sleep. For reference, DH thinks lights out at anything past 7:30 is too late, and when I’m not around, DD11 does go to bed without drama at 7:30 although she says that she lies awake for ages.
DD14 is quite good at taking herself up to bed but also likes me to sit with her reading for a while, often about 8:15 to 8:45. She turns her light out when she’s tired, but it’s never past 9:00. It has been as early as 7:30 recently - knackered from start of school year shenanigans. The 11 yo will often disrupt this reading time asking to be put back to bed, and it’s not unusual for me to still be dealing with the 11 yo even after the 14 yo has turned her light out.
The fannying around with DD11 invariably eats into the time with DD14. Worse, they keep playing off against each other about the amount of time i spend with each of them at bedtime even if that time is spent arguing, or consoling an upset, hormonal teenager. Three nights this week it’s descended into arguments. Not great for winding down and drifting off.
i think they just need to put themselves to bed but I suppose I also have a bit of sadness about not spending this time with them, which is daft, as II honestly feel that spending this time with each of them is creating the problem.
So what do you do with your 11 and 14 yo DCs for bedtime?