Anyone else’s parents refuse to spend on food and heating even though they’ve got loads of money?

[mariavontarp]

Wondering if it’s just a quirk of my mum’s, or a generational thing.

She is in a great position. Been mortgage free since the early 90s, generous pension and savings. She will spend £££ on theatre trips, home decoration and getting the garden done, but absolutely refuses to put the heating on and insists on eating manky jars of chutney from 2018 rather than “waste” it. It drives me wild that she turns off the plug socket behind the TV every night to “save energy” but will happily spend hours ironing teatowels and socks!!

Is it just my mum that has baffling priorities?

Women who are now70-80-90-and older grew up at a time when girls and women were shamed for eating heartily, and there was a big emphasis on avoiding waste.

You'd never think so with my DM. She is 85 and can eat for England.

Also with my parents it was the opposite, house like a furnace and persuading them that the heating didn't to be on all the time.

I certainly do put the heating on when it's cold but am constantly reminding my DM to trying putting socks on or another layer.

Yep, my Dad (86) hardly ever turns on his heating, buys “ reduced for quick sale” items at the supermarket and goes around in old clothes…even though he can afford his bills and has brand new clothes hanging in his wardrobe. He seems to enjoy being frugal.

I think it’s his farming upbringing. From what I understand, any extra money was spent on the livestock, the cows and sheep had very comfortable lives. 🤣

I always turn off the TV at the plug mainly as I irrationally worry about it catching fire while I'm sleeping 😂perhaps you could put on one of those smart plugs so it's done on on a timer.

My dad isnt tight on heating costs but I think he super insulated their house as even while the heatings off it feels warm. Is similar with cheap food and eating things I would chuck away. I value not getting sick higher than saving money.

They always want a bargain so would be checking out the reduced food and will opt for cheap places to eat and not spend on days out as seems frivolous, yet they've plenty to enjoy retirement which i find sad as there will come a time probably not many years off when they are no longer mobile/independent (or alive) to enjoy it.

People who don't waste money on heating etc can spend their cash on more interesting pursuits!

My ex in laws (and ex dh at times) were like this! Especially with heating!they are literally millionaires and won’t turn on the heating but would light the fire and open the door to “let the heat go upstairs” 🙄 I wouldn’t stay unless they turned it on! Especially with the dc! I’m wouldn’t sitting the cold when I could be warm at home.

Not quite as bad, but DM was appalled when we got a dryer (live in wet area/ having a baby) as the cost of running it once a day would ruin us!

Meanwhile, she's spent several grand on a massive shed for her plants with custom lighting that's on 24 hours a day 🙄

lol, my folks grew up poor but love the comforts of life.
I am the hyper frugal one & my parents can't understand me.

Same! My mum was born in the 50s, has a fat pension, no mortgage, big savings etc. She didn't have central heating growing up so she'll only switch it on in extremis but she has a coal fire going constantly.

Exactly the same with the food as well, nothing ever gets thrown out.

My parents are like that especially for heating. They grew up in a cold climate without much in the way of central heating and now their bodies are used to it.

I'm in the next phase of this which is
Saved all the money for old age but now constantly worries about it all being spent on care instead of going to family.
Yes mum, the time to consider that was in 2001. There is nowt to be done about it now.

"If you look after the pennies, the pounds will look after themselves".

I know plenty of well off people who will eat out of date food and keep the heating off long after the rest of us have it on, yet splurge on other items.
Perhaps that saying IS true in that case!

it is september
plenty of people wouldnt put the heating on
and what is wrong with chutney.

my own dm would say no she hasnt put the heating on, but she has lit a fire!

My mum isn't like this but my grandparents were. Never out the heating on . It was warmer outside.
My mum feeds her cats before herself she is so thin but that's up to her.

My PIL are 100% like this. House is bloody freezing.

I'm old and my heating is on

My Mum hates spending money on herself and never buys herself any nice food or treats and is stingy with her heating but she has money in the bank to pay for it. Maybe she is worried she will live to 100 and run out of money, who knows.

Maybe they are worried if they spend all their money they will have to rely on the NHS for an operation or something like that, would be galling to need a new hip and have frivolously spent all your savings

I call it being a tight arse.

My parents aren’t like this at all thankfully. They live comfortably and eat lovely food and keep nice and warm in their own home.

Different if folk have no pennies at all and are living in the bones of their arse- they have no choice .

But if you have plenty of money and savings but are living on out of date jars of food and shivering your butt off in your house and refusing to turn the light on, then that’s just being a tight arse.

My dad has ££££££ savings but says he can't afford to put his heating on. I was so worried about him last winter, I bought him an electric blanket but he asked me to return it.
He won't even put the lights on at night he uses the tv as a light 🙄
He does buy his meals from m&s so at least he's getting some decent standard of food.

My elderly father has a pension so big he saves £20k a year of it. He gets cross if anyone drinks anything except tap water when we are out. His bathroom is 50 years old and the shower has been broken for 20 years.
He’s happy enough.

Yes exactly same! I need dental work that would be better if I paid private rather than NHS. But I find it hard to justify it. I can treat the kids and husband but find it hard to treat myself. I use to when I was younger not want to tell dh if I'd bought something, which is how dm was with my dad , I stopped myself doing that though.

My parents were children during WWII. Very much make do and mend. No food wasted and heating on only in the evening. If you are cold, you put another layer on. No lights on if you are not in the room etc. This is how I was brought up. It's a generational thing.

However, since only one parent remains now and I live in and am in charge, we do have the heating on during the day as I draw the line at wearing coats and hats indoors.

When I cleared the spice drawer and food cupboards, there was stuff in there which was pre-decimalisation. It was older than me and I'm in my 50s.

I think it’s because what see as worth the money? One of my parents is like this, extravagant with holidays but tight with other things. The idea of getting a cab is the height of decadence whereas I would sell the holiday home, reduce the spend on holidays and make day to day living more comfortable.

On the out of date food specifically, best before dates are just that, and food after that date is perfectly safe to eat. Different from use by dates, which are about safety. Chutney keeps indefinitely because it's full of natural preservatives, i.e. vinegar, salt, sugar, spices, so there's little point in looking at the date. Those of us who grew up before foods had dates printed on the packaging mostly still ignore them for long-life foods. Avoiding food waste is a good thing.