To be annoyed that dh referred to us as poor.

[Maisykitten]

hi everyone,

dh and I have some ‘tricky’ finances at the moment. Our business went bust when Covid kicked in and we were left deeply in debt (100k now but more at the start ). We have both managed to get good salaries jobs and we’ve got on top of everything.

we have a small mortgage of 38k on a house worth 300k and all of our bills are paid. Definitely not remortgaging to clear the debt- the house is our security!!

anyway in a conversation dh referred to us as ‘poor’. I have a real issue with that. I agree that we’re in high levels of debt but we aren’t poor. After we’ve paid our mortgage, bills and living costs inc contractual debt payments, we’re left with £2800, much of which goes on extra debt payments.

i think it’s tone deaf to call us poor. I don’t feel poor, in fact i thank my lucky stars everyday that we’re able to dig ourselves out of the hole we are in,

do you agree?

@Maisykitten how long will it take to be debt free?

I think that's why DH "feels" poor.
Despite earning good wages, there's no respite, even if you have a few treats, that debt is sitting heavy on him.
Yes I'm alot poorer than you, but it's about DHs inner self and while I may disagree that you are poor, you may need to validate him and let him work through the am I poor? Scenario

being poor isn't something to be ashamed of.

It depends on how you spend whatever money you have.