MN rules for life - shame edition

[Over40Overdating]

There have been so many bonkers threads lately where OPs have been shamed for what most people in real life would considered normal that I think some MNetters live in an alternate universe.

Shaming people for relatively normal things is off the charts right now.
I’ve got a list of things I now look out for on threads to play rules bingo - please add your MN bingo rules for life: shame edition!

• if you drink alone or at home, you have a drinking problem

• drinking whilst being a parent? JAIL

• express an opinion or anger about violence against women and girls - you are a misandrist and a man hater cos NAMALT

• Got a sex life that is not vanilla but harms no one? You should have more respect for yourself, you harlot

• Like to eat food that isn’t green and in larger portions than matchbox size? You are ‘scoffing’ and ‘gorging’ on rubbish, piggy

• Got a twatty partner who does things to drive you mad? Have you looked at yourself to see why you are causing this?

• Need to go no contact with toxic family or parents? You only get one mother / father and should take any shit they throw at you because someone who has no experience of abuse or family dysfunction thinks you sound selfish and childish. And didn’t you know some people have dead parents and you are being SO disrespectful to them?

• If you have an overbearing or interfering MIL you need to keep your mouth shut because you might be a MIL one day and how would you feel if your DIL talks about you this way?

What have I missed?

@murphys these DC also only like pasta and chicken and veg and yoghurt. They would drop dead in horror if offered a maccies.

The DH also has opinions on everything posted on mumsnet, which must be posted on his behalf but clearly marked ‘my DH says’. Everyone on the thread should then agree with him. Thread ends.

I think I may have won the bingo - are we talking a line or full house...

You must never, ever have less than an quarter of a million pounds of savings. Never mind that you've always worked in low paid jobs and have had to live hand to mouth for your whole life.

See also:-

• just put it on a credit card
• if you earn under £70k per year you should at least be taking in ironing or doing dog walking on the side

HOW DARE YOU BE SKINT??

If you are not able to walk your dog 4 times a day for 2 kms each time you are unworthy of having a pet and it should be rehomed immediately.

You may never leave your dog alone for more than 20 seconds.

If it's so hot outside and the tarmac is 40 C in the shade, you should get up at 3am to walk it when it's cooler, you lazy lazy cow. Your dog will never want to just lay around if it's feeling too hot. That is just you being a lazy cow.

You must never eat processed or god forbid ultra processed food.
A chicken should also feed a family of 4 for a week. A takeaway is the work of the devil. You also can't ever nap, you must read as a hobby and you must be on a minimum of 100k a year. Your kid is never allowed to have a tantrum without being ND

@ComeOnThenFanny being poor is self inflicted. You just have to make better choices and no excuses.

You could always taken in ironing or pick up cleaning jobs or stack shelves over night. Surely someone would come mind your children or your disabilities would allow you to put in at least a couple of shifts at week?

“And what did he/she/they say when you told them xxx?”

“Why did you have children with such an awful man?”

Basically anything that requires OP to have a time machine.

But don't you dare lose the weight by using weightloss injections, that's cheating and you will get hideous side effects, pile all the weight back on and probably die.

You can only do it in a way that involves suffering and deprivation and eating low carb dust you shameless fat bastard.

@Differentstarts one does not ‘eat’ processed foods, one scoffs or gobbles it.

I think you’ll find a chicken feeds 5, including willowy teen boys who plays sports.

‘The DH also has opinions on everything posted on mumsnet, which must be posted on his behalf but clearly marked ‘my DH says’. Everyone on the thread should then agree with him. Thread ends’

😂😂

1. When giving an example, don't use genders. Someone dared to give an example as all bosses to be male and naturally, someone jumped on that and commented to ask why a woman couldn't be a boss?

1. Neighbours arseholes? Move...piece of piss.

I'm sure pasta is a upf here. Unless you milled the wheat and of course, and then made it from scratch.

And wheat. That isn't allowed. T'is the Devils Work. You need amaranth, even possibly quinoa.

And you are never just having a good amount of gravy. It has to be lashings of the stuff.

Same for cream in your scone. Never ever a dollop. Only ever lashings.

Not oxo though, God forbid. Only the proper stuff made from stock of wagu beef.

If you ever have an issue with your partner or, shock horror, he behaves differently in all the time you’ve known him then clutches pearls “well why did you choose to live with/marry/have children with this man?”

You write a really long post about deciding to divorce you partner. Oh and it’s after a trip to Dubai.
But why were you in Dubai? Don’t you care about human rights? Do you not do proper travelling? Why did you get on a plane when you look at the state of the environment.

If you enjoy sex there's something wrong with you as sex is a chore you have to grit your teeth through.

If you have a different opinion and don't add to the echo chamber you're a man.

Women are helpless victims.

But can you see their ribs? Really important otherwise they’re obese and you’re a terrible parent.

If your husband doesn’t want fo have sex with you then you must leave him because he is terrible and selfish. If you don’t want sex with him it’s not your fault and he should give it up forever.

This is painfully spot on.

If you sleep train your baby you are a heartless mother. It is good to go without sleep. Those heartless mothers who are enjoying all that extra sleep will have alienated their children and have troublesome teenagers!

Women are always helpless victims. Even when they make choices and think they’re not. In fact, especially then. Women are always weak and vulnerable in every single situation and that’s feminism.

Grey hair makes you look younger. Size 14 is not fat even if you are 5' tall.

You cannot afford a child unless you already have enough in savings to put them through at least ten weekly extra curricular activities through their teen years and all university fees and accommodation. I only have 50k in savings per child, help! I’m so poor!

Your DC is badly behaved? Have you considered they're neurodiverse

Whilst I was putting away the fork that DH genuinely accidentally forgot to put in the dishwasher, I noticed he brought me a trip to the Maldives and an LV bag!!

he forgot to put a fork in the dishwasher?! Leave his lazy ass!! Don’t stay with him for one more min!! He’s suppressing you!!

any DH or DP complaint, no matter how big or small - leave them!