Absolutely fekkin fuming

[almondflake]

We're Into the first day of a family holiday to Mexico with our daughter, her boyfriend and another couple .
It took us hours to get here and after a decent nights sleep , daughters boyfriend has had too much to drink and kicked off big time , storming round the hotel then kicking the hotel room door in . Luckily the hotel have not called the police , we've paid for the door , my husband has taken the boyfriend away to sober up , I'm sat in my hotel room with a distraught daughter .we're hoping to get him on a flight home tomorrow as he can't stay here , I'm absolutely furious with him, he's 24 and he's blaming it all on our daughter .
I'm not looking for solutions just venting really .

How many times does a man have to be violent before you consider him a violent man?

Send him home on the cheapest flight. Why should your dd still waste money on an abusive sponger
Suspect there’s been a lot more of this type of behaviour than she’s dated to admit before

Get your daughter a download of Lundy Bancroft's 'why does he do that' to read by the pool.
She's no doubt been covering up a lot more that she's not told you yet.

Do you know his parents? Assuming you and DD do I'd be contacting them as clearly he's still a child and needs some guidance. They should pay for the flight home if he can't

Of course they can. He either goes or the hotel call the police.

Exactly this. The oaf is only being permitted to stay due to the actions of the op- if they told the hotel they wanted him gone then the hotel would make it so.

That FUCKER needs a solid.....you know what to his head. I can't say it because delicates don't like implicataed violence.

OP it sounds horrible.

On the positive side, if this man’s violence had taken place behind closed doors, with just you and your daughter, she might not have had the perspective and support that your presence has added - and she might not have kicked him out. It sounds like it’s good riddance, and I hope once you’ve packed him off to the airport you can enjoy the holiday.

Agree with others…
whatever happens be clear continuing the holiday with you is not an option.

the only option you or your Dd will fund is a flight home of your choosing.

if he wants he can arrange & pay for:

• a flight home of his choosing
• another hotel for himself
• another room in this hotel (I wouldn’t even suggest this)

He's a grown man and can refuse to do as you want. An alternative is for him to move to another hotel at his own expense (too bad if he runs up a huge credit card debt) and do his own thing until the booked return flight. Is he likely to be able to holiday alone, has he ever travelled anywhere like Mexico before?

If he gets home before her I'd expect him to trash the flat, burn her stuff and either hurt the cat or dump it far from home. Maybe he's not that nasty or vindictive but I'd give some serious thought to having someone go round there and secure things if there are spare keys.

As for flights, if he's going to be persuaded to go back home, a direct and cheaper flight back to any part of the UK is simpler. It's then his problem to get himself home from there by coach or train. Sure, you can try to put him on a 54 hr 3 stops flight but he's not likely to agree.

Ugh, how awful. I hope you manage to ship the idiot out and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

He’s not paid his own way so far, her DD has paid for the whole holiday, I doubt very much he has the funds to cover a solo room at such short notice.

They absolutely have the right to ask him to leave the room he hasn’t paid for.

Good idea, she needs to make sure the cat is safe. Op what's their living situation, in her name or both their names?

This is more concerning. I'd be urgently looking at how to improve your DD's self esteem so she doesn't put up with this shit and can put in place better boundaries in relationships, or she will be walked all over.

I'd put him on the long flight home.

But does he live with dd?? Whose house is it?

Yes, I thought that too.

It’s not something he needs to agree to, he’s not paid for the room, it’s not his decision.

He hasn't contributed to this holiday.

He doesn't get to choose how he gets home.

Stick him on the 54 hour flight and be done with it.

Hopefully he'll miss one of the connecting flights and your daughter will never have to see him again.

Let the hotel kick him out and he can sort himself out.

does your dd live with him?

Rather than paying shit loads for a flight, why can’t you “just” get him to leave hotel and sort his own accommodation out until it’s time to go home

that way would probably be cheaper and on flight home dh can sit next to boyfriend. Dd needs her room back and you and dh need your holiday too.

if dickhead misses his flight, tough. His issue. If he wants to get home earlier, he can sort it out he is 24.

not sure what a cheap hostel would cost - I’d be getting him to pay on a card if possible- it’s not your fault he has behaved as a criminal, and spoilt your holiday and upset your daughter.

I certainly would not be paying for flights. Just telling him to get out, go away and sort himself out. Asking hotel to ban him.

I hope your daughter sees sense op 🙏

I’m very surprised the hotel haven’t kicked him out. We went to Mexico many times and we once witnessed behaviour like this from a guest. The staff helped him to pack up his stuff and he was fine by the next morning.

WTF??

I’d worry about him going back alone to your daughter's house. What might he do to the house, her things, the cat….?

Mumsnet at its finest.

''Lazy boyfriend won't clean litter tray without making a fuss = GF pregnant''

I really hope your DD dumps him, there's probably a whole load of other stuff going on as well that you have no idea about.

I also hope he leaves and flies home, however, you might not be able to force him on a plane.

You have to insist that he leaves your holiday though and is not allowed to stay in your accommodation.