What can I do to make Christmas day more easier ?

[mytoiletbrush]

We host Christmas day. Its me, DH, x3DC, my parents & inlaws.

We have dinner then sit around chatting all eve with drinks. By the time its the evening I sit looking at the mess of the house and thinking how much work it will be to tidy up, having already loaded/unloaded the dishwasher several times during the day and laid/cleared the table, kept drinks topped up, snacks replenished, manually washed up as we have ran out of glasses & plates & cutlery etc between courses and throughout the day. Dh cooks the whole meal (his choice and contribution) but he makes so much mess. Boxing day morning I then spend clearing up the second half of Christmas day which includes a full floor wash, more loading/unloading the dishwasher, full tidy up, trying to fit the food leftovers into the fridge, kitchen wipe down and clean. Its exhausting.

I wouldn't ask the parents to help, they have spent their life catering for us/doing Christmas over the years Its their time to relax.

Going out for dinner is not an option.

If you aren't going to ask for help the only thing you can do is suck it up or lower your expectations.

Hand wash up as going along - including during cooking. Dirty dishes make everything look messy. Try it when your doing dinner tonight and see the difference.

Are the DC old enough to help?

Paper plates for any snacky bits, proper plates for the main meal. Keep the same glass for champagne/bucksfizz, same one for juice and water. Cutlery - buy another pack? Could put it away with the Christmas stuff if it would be too much to use throughout the year.

foil trays rather than baking trays or line trays with foil

Ask DH to try and keep everything in one area rather than dirty dishes and pots etc spread around.

People can refill their own drinks, and whoever finishes a snack tops it up.

Reduce what you buy this year if fitting it back in is difficult.

is the full floor clean necessary, or could it be a quick Hoover/sweep and spot mop with wipes?

hope some of this could be helpful :)

@mytoiletbrush

ask MN to move your thread to the Christmas topic, you'll get more advice & annoy fewer people.

There are some great make ahead recipients which cut down on dishes on the day.

https://www.maryberry.co.uk/recipes/christmas/roast-potatoes
https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/chicken/get-ahead-gravy/
https://www.deliciousmagazine.co.uk/collections/make-ahead-stuffing-recipes/

red cabbage, cauliflower cheese etc can also be made ahead and just reheated on the day.

Make food ahead and freeze in disposable containers … less mess on the day and no washing up

Use disposable cooking trays on the day … no washing up

Tell DH in no uncertain terms that if he doesnt clear up as he goes when cooking, then he has to join in the cleaning up

Involve the dc (depending on ages). Any child over the age of 8 can be helpful with dishwashers and wiping counter tops etc

Your parents can help a bit and may well like to feel they are contributing. Helping wipe down the sides is a long way from the burden of hosting everything.

dont leave the second clean for boxing day morning, get everyone involved on Christmas late afternoon, put music on and dance around the kitchen/sing along

hopefully there will be something in this list that will help a bit

Yes, I was going to say we always make stuffing and cook the turkey on Christmas Eve, this cuts down on a lot of the cooking and cleaning the next day.

Prepare what you can before the day. I always prepare many of the side dishes a day or two before - for example the sprouts with bacon and chestnuts, chop the vegetables, make mashed swede and carrot, even the gravy can be made before. On the actual day many things just need to be reheated and I only do the potatoes and turkey from scratch.
If your DH does all the cooking can you persuade him to prepare some dishes in advance? Less washing up on the day! Or alternatively, you could prepare the dishes a day or two before so he's just focussing on the turkey and potatoes.
Honestly, this approach makes everything so much easier and less chaotic.

Use disposable plates and cutlery. Paper tablecloth. Foil serving dishes. Stand at the end of the table with a black bin bag. I know it’s not environmentally friendly but it’s only once a year and it feels great.

Go away on holiday, alone.

I dunno OP, what you've described really doesn't sound exhausting? to me? Sure, having guests to stay makes for a bit of extra work, but is it really that big of a deal? Are you perhaps making work for yourself - do you really need to mop the floors and do a "full tidy" (whatever that involves)? Wouldn't a quick sweep and putting things into piles do the job for a few days?

The main issue here is your DH who absolutely should not be pulling the glory chef routine with no regard for the people who will be clearing up after him. And yes he should be organising himself to do more prep work in advance.

Personally I'd make better use of the dishwasher quick cycle and do extra loads for mugs, glasses, side plates etc, even if it isn't completely full.

But listing "topping up drinks" as a job does make me wonder if you are coming at this with an unhelpful mindset of having to martyr yourself.

What time do you eat dinner? If you can have it between 5 and 6, taking time over each course, it gives you (or a helper) some time to clear up as you go.

Give yourself permission to use disposable paper plates/wooden picnic cutlery for a light (to keep people hungry for dinner) but special buffet lunch mostly of stuff you have bought in - the supermarkets are all full of nibbles at Christmas. Insist on help binning all the debris before you sit down for dinner.

And buy in as many pre-prepared vegetables or starters or stuffed birds or whatever for the big meal.

Simplify breakfast as well, either a continental style cold meats and cheeses platter, or smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, which sounds and tastes fancy but is very easy to do. Fruit (maybe bought-in fruit salad), nice bread, probably paper plates as well.

I would swap with dh. So you cook the meal this year (with prep in advance) and he does everything else. Fair is fair.

Oh, and your new rule is my mother's old rule when I was learning to cook as a child, cook clears up after themself (or gets called back and stood over).

Though come to think of it, I had to clear up after her when she cooked as well . . .

Either make people use the same cup more than once to reduce the constant washing up or buy some cheap plastic ones/paper cups. Also ask relatives to chip in and help more.

For food only the turkey, sprouts, potatoes, carrots and parsnips are cooked from scratch on the day. Stuffing balls and pigs in blankets are made in advance and frozen as is red cabbage.

Everything is cooked in disposable foil trays to minimise washing up.

For any snacks or other meals it is paper plates and napkins.

Guests top up their own drinks. They are family and perfectly capable of refilling their own drink or making a cup of tea. We have a big coolbox that we put bottles of prosecco, cans of fizzy drinks, bottles of juice etc in and keep in the dining room next to a bin bag for any rubbish. Everyone just sorts themselves in that respect.

Everything is simplified. So pastries, coffee and juice for breakfast, big Christmas dinner and no other cooking. We put out crisps, nuts, olives, chocolates, mince pies, cheese and crackers etc for eating in the evening and someone can have a turkey sandwich if they want one. Everyone helps, including DDs who are 7 and 5.

No full cleans. We have lower expectations and expect the house to be a bit messier and more chaotic than usual. I'll spot vacuum anywhere that needs it or wipe up any spills. Children can also help with this too.

We stay with family at Christmas- everyone mucks in on Christmas Day.
We normally get all the veg prepared on Christmas Eve, everyone does a bit so it doesn't take long.

My son il cooks, daughter and I are "sous chefs" and stir, mix as required.
DH does the child wrangling.

Everyone helps clear away,kids included. Dishwasher is loaded as we go. Music is on, drinks in hand, when we all join in it's not a chore.

Drinks and snacks for the evening put out and everyone helps themselves- including topping up and putting dirty stuff in the dishwasher .

Stop trying to do everything yourself, tell DH he has to clear as he goes, you are not the Christmas Day servant.

For the sake of doing a bit of washing up?

When someone asks what they can do to help, take them up on it.

DH's contribution does not need to stop at making a meal.

Like others have said look into disposable trays etc to cook and serve in. You don’t need to create extra work like topping up drinks, just have a section with all the drinks people can top up themselves ditto snacks and you don’t need to do a full clean down and floor mop etc it can probably wait a few days

We buy the meat already cooked and sliced (ham/beef/turkey) from a local butcher and things like spuds and veg already peeled and chopped from a local wholesaler. Making xmas lunch for 10 takes less time than a usual Sunday roast.

There is only one solution and that is your DH has to do more. We have a similar ‘workload’ on Christmas Day and it has to be a team effort from both of you or one person ends up exhausted and resentful.

you don’t need to do a full clean down and floor mop etc

That kinda depends on the OH's husband's cooking style. I don't know what age the children are, but anyone over 5 should be instructed to do some of the cleaning up.

I think it's fine to ask your guests to help. I know you say they've spent years hosting, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind doing a bit of washing up to ease the burden on you.