What can I do to make Christmas day more easier ?

[mytoiletbrush]

We host Christmas day. Its me, DH, x3DC, my parents & inlaws.

We have dinner then sit around chatting all eve with drinks. By the time its the evening I sit looking at the mess of the house and thinking how much work it will be to tidy up, having already loaded/unloaded the dishwasher several times during the day and laid/cleared the table, kept drinks topped up, snacks replenished, manually washed up as we have ran out of glasses & plates & cutlery etc between courses and throughout the day. Dh cooks the whole meal (his choice and contribution) but he makes so much mess. Boxing day morning I then spend clearing up the second half of Christmas day which includes a full floor wash, more loading/unloading the dishwasher, full tidy up, trying to fit the food leftovers into the fridge, kitchen wipe down and clean. Its exhausting.

I wouldn't ask the parents to help, they have spent their life catering for us/doing Christmas over the years Its their time to relax.

Going out for dinner is not an option.

We use foil trays for everything for Xmas dinner so only dishes, glasses and cutlery need to be washed. Not so sustainable but it's only one day.

I'd only do "a full floor wash" if something had been spilled - are you mad?

Tidying - well, insomuch as gifts get taken to bedrooms and wrapping paper is put in a bin bag sure.

I normally do the dinner but the family pitches in - if we have family here, normally mum will peel some spuds while we chat in the kitchen, the kids do the pigs in blankets, husband will make sure bins are all being emptied when needed. I also wash up during the meal prep - actually now I think about it, I made cauli cheese, stuffing and pigs in blankets the day before so it was "just" a roast the day of.

Your husband is the problem here. Why does he get to remove himself from all other household responsibility because he's made the dinner? Especially as he's a messy cook!

Foil roasting trays are fine for things like roast parsnips, carrots, stuffing balls, pigs in blankets, roast turkey and ham. Roast potatoes and homemade Yorkshire pudding need heavier pans though.

DH can fuck off with his "contribution" can't he?

it's not hard cooking Christmas dinner - it's mostly waiting for stuff to cook and the only faff is at the end, when you can get all hands on deck ferrying stuff anyway...

He can help tidy up - lazy shit

DH does all our cooking and the hosting side of it, so the topping up of drinks, provision of extra food etc.

I do tidying and cleaning and I love it. Everyone had a big lunch then I kick everyone out of the kitchen, barricade the door, stick on a podcast and have a lovely 2 hours or so of alone time washing up, drying, wiping down the surfaces, mopping etc. It's such a relief after all the noise and bother.

Other general tidying up.of wrapping paper etc we do together.

And disposable glasses. And paper napkins.

How old are the children?

If they are old enough, they can easily be given such tasks as laying the table, collecting empty tea cups, putting stuff in the recycling, tidying their toys, and helping to empty the dishwasher.

Oh and the other rule is: whoever wants a drink makes it, and asks if anybody else wants one as well.

Jesus Christ, husbands really can't do anything right, can they? He cooks a Christmas meal for the entire extended family, and he's a lazy shit who can fuck off.

Generally men who do this do it because they enjoy it, it's a challenge and they get lots of praise and admiration afterwards. They can dress it up as helping but it's not really.

Buy large cheap plastic bins, with bin liners, for waste and recycling, ready to fill and dump. Definitely disposal baking trays, but other items not so, just don't provide too many clean glasses etc., encourage re-use / enlist help to do the fill /clear for the dish washer. We always clear up on the night, as lovely to get up and it is done, so a full on day, but then a chill out Boxing Day.

Your husband needs to clean as much as he can as he goes. He also needs to most of the prep the night before so it's a case of putting stuff in the oven / turning in the hob so that he not creating peeling / chopping mess.

I buy in stuffing, pigs in blankets and Yorkshire puddings.

I use foil trays for the meat and potatoes they just go in the bin, but I draw the line at paper plates on Christmas Day 😂

I don't top up drinks either, there is wine / water on the table or on the side in the living room along with other drinks for guests to help themselves to.

Well he is all he's doing is cooking the meal, but leaving his wife to do absolutely everything else including cleaning up after him....

I think that's unfair. Cooking Christmas dinner is hard work. How do you know they're doing it for praise and admiration and not because they enjoy cooking or are nice people? I'm sure you wouldn't make the same sweeping statements about a wife who cooks Christmas dinner.
In my house, I cook the Christmas dinner, and DH clears up, so we're the opposite of OP. It takes me hours but I want to do it. I do enjoy getting praise and appreciation. Who doesn't feel happy if they've spent hours cooking and people express their gratitude??
However, I don't do it for that reason, it's just nice to see everyone together and enjoying the food.
I see no reason to assume the OP's DH is only doing it for glory. It's just lazy sexist thinking to make these statements.

Exactly the same as me and DH except I cook and he does everything else. I'd say we do roughly the same on Christmas day but maybe I (the cook) spend more time on my feet.

I've started to get disposable cookware , so large tinfoil turkey tray , veg trays etc they all go in the bin after , yes I know it's not very economical and environmentally friendly but it's once a year and saves a lot of washing up .

just to add - DH cooks the food and makes everything from scratch. Starter (something like a parfait or french onion soup), then for mains it's own gravy, own stuffing, own cranberry sauce, several different veg (posh veg ! eg honey glazed carrots type of thing) plus usual meat, roasties etc. He is unable to cope with more than 1 thing at once. I therefore leave him to do the dinner and quietly try to tidy up around him. There is just so so so much mess. Every utensil/pan has been used. This alone is up to 2 dishwasher loads in itself. He choses to do all this.

the floor has to have a full mop due to people with shoes on/family bring dogs over/spilt food & drink/general mess from a household of people

Why is your husband making such a mess? Would he be doing that if he knew he had to clear it up? Also are your in-laws and parents all old and infirm - if not why aren't they lending a hand too.

My advice would be to buy everything ready prepared so it just needs to be cooked with minimal fuss/mess, and sit back and enjoy the day. Don't be such a martyr, it's your christmas day too.

DH loves to cook the dinner, he enjoys doing it I don't and can't cook !

But Christmas deserves lovely china, not paper plates just to save a tiny bit of washing up!

Sorry but he sounds quite annoying and chaotic. Has he not noticed how much more work he is making for you?

Lower your standards.

Boxing Day morning is not the time for 'a full floor wash'

Can he not make some of this stuff in advance as so many of us do? Then you aren't cleaning every dish in the house on what should be an enjoyable day.

I would follow some of the good advice given by other posters for this year. However you do not have to host Christmas and do the same thing every year. It's good to mix it up before resentment builds. Next year you can have Christmas just you and the children. Eat out or go away.

Well maybe this year he can plan a menu that means he can cook things in advance and freeze them

Gravy - easy
Stuffing - easy
Soup - easy
Cranberry relish - tastes better when its been sitting in the fridge a while
Brandy butter - see above
Xmas Pudding - see above and it doesnt even need the fridge
The dressing for the carrots can be made ahead and frozen/fridged, then just poured over the carrots on the day
All the veg can be blanched the night before and then just warmed through in whatever sauce on the day
etc
etc

He needs to think like a restaurant chef - they dont make each plate of food from scratch for each order.

If he wont adjust his menu to lighten your work load, then you have a DH problem, not an Christmas problem

Of course your husband enjoys all this cooking, when he has a skivvy cleaning up his mess as he goes. He needs to clean as he goes, prep the days before, or clean it all up afterwards. V easy to cook from scratch when you can make as much of a mess as he wants.

I don't cook for as many now but I still do everything the day before (or even the day before that if I can) Potatoes in a pan ready to par boil, veg, starters, desserts all prepared, table set out, timings all written down. DP on hand to top up drinks, hand wash in between and ferry things back and forth.
Prepare and do as much as you can before the day.