What can I do to make Christmas day more easier ?

[mytoiletbrush]

We host Christmas day. Its me, DH, x3DC, my parents & inlaws.

We have dinner then sit around chatting all eve with drinks. By the time its the evening I sit looking at the mess of the house and thinking how much work it will be to tidy up, having already loaded/unloaded the dishwasher several times during the day and laid/cleared the table, kept drinks topped up, snacks replenished, manually washed up as we have ran out of glasses & plates & cutlery etc between courses and throughout the day. Dh cooks the whole meal (his choice and contribution) but he makes so much mess. Boxing day morning I then spend clearing up the second half of Christmas day which includes a full floor wash, more loading/unloading the dishwasher, full tidy up, trying to fit the food leftovers into the fridge, kitchen wipe down and clean. Its exhausting.

I wouldn't ask the parents to help, they have spent their life catering for us/doing Christmas over the years Its their time to relax.

Going out for dinner is not an option.

If DH is making everything from scratch on Christmas Day itself then not only is it no wonder that you can't keep up with the mess, he's spending way more time in the kitchen than he needs to and missing out in the fun of the day.
DH makes everything from scratch on the day and doesn't really miss anything. Everyone hangs out a bit in the kitchen, a bit in the lounge. It's all pretty relaxed. And he's in and out depending on what needs doing.

I can relax entirely knowing he's doing 100% of the hosting work (which I detest) and he can then relax entirely knowing I'm doing 100% of the kitchen/eating tidy up.

Divide and conquer works for us. But it sounds like OP has to do the hosting bit as well as the cleaning.

He needs to be part of the solution.

Mine cooks Christmas dinner too. He is an occasional cook. He washes up as he goes along and makes a point of not leaving all the tidying up to me - because that is hardly a break for the main family cook, is it?

My suggestions are:

• get a spare standalone draining board if you have space. Stops drying up being the blocker to DH washing up as he goes along.
• DH needs to washing up as he goes along
• personally I would give starters a miss altogether. I'm sure there's enough main to fill everyone up but if there isn't, just cook more main.
• go simpler with snacks. Maybe eat earlier if that helps.

Oh, and raw veg can be stored in a garage or shed for a few days beforehand, so it doesn't need to take up space in fridge. Similarly drinks.

Make as much as possible in advance

Yorkshires can be premade & frozen & just put in the oven to warm through

Cauliflower cheese again can be pre made and frozen & just put in oven on the day

Roast potatoes too - just put them on a baking tray & heat through straight from the freezer, maybe add a drizzle of oil

Buy preprepared veg - carrots, brocoli etc that can just go in the microwave

Then the only thing that you need to do on the day is meat and gravy.

Have DH do as much prep as possible beforehand. Some things taste better reheated, like roasties when they come out of the airfryer.

Hire all the crockery, cutlery and glassware. You don't need to wash it after, they do that.

Put out a "bar" for people to help themselves to drinks and snacks.

List the leftovers that don't fit on Olio.

@DappledThings Wow your DH sounds amazing if he can do it all and still participate and not mess up lots of bowls while prepping everything from scratch on the day. Hats off to him.
I make ahead and freeze stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, Parmesan parsnips, pigs in blankets and red cabbage, stock for the gravy. Christmas pudding is made well ahead to mature, and if we have people coming who don't like Christmas pudding, I'll make and freeze an alternative like sticky toffee pudding. I really couldn't make all of that from scratch on the day. Carrots, swede, sprouts, turkey, roast potatoes, gravy are all that are prepped from scratch on the day, the things from the freezer are taken out the night before and just need to be cooked / heated.
I am trying to get my head around how your DH does it all on the day, am in awe.

God no, it's Christmas!

Use disposable cooking foil trays for everything else though.

Ps cook the bird/meat and as much as else as you can, buy as much as you can and cut your DH out of the kitchen and on waiting duty instead.

Talk to your DH. tell him the level of mess involves huge amounts of work that leaves you shattered. Ask to discuss the menu and plan ahead so he uses fewer pans. Buy ready made pigs in blankets, stuffing, bread sauce (if you eat it) gravy and cranberry sauce. The P-i-Bs come in tin foil trays usually, and so does good stuffing, so you can put those trays straight into the oven and chuck them afterwards. Gravy and bread sauce can be heated in the microwave and transferred to pretty dishes that are dishwasher safe.

You could buy some pretty and fairly solid disposable plates for lunch or brunch. There are some lovely palm leaf eco ones that biodegrade and look really pretty. They'd be fine for light lunch food like crackers and cheese or smoked salmon bagels and salads, or mince pies or yule log.

You could get those little ID tags for wine glasses and get people to hold onto the same champagne flute and wine glass throughout the day. Buy nice soft drinks for DC and allow them to drink from the can or bottle with a festive straw.

Ask DC to help. Most DC are old enough to refill a snack tray or bowl of chocolates or clementines and pass it around.

Take time to chill. Just watch a whole film or go for a long walk. If people want stuff, let them get it. If you can, have a table laid out for people to help themselves from.

Admit that there will be a stack of washing up at some point. My rule is - I do it at my best time of day. So I am happy to leave it until morning as I feel refreshed then, and don't mind putting on some good music and cleaning the decks. DH is a night owl and will wash pots at night. Get your DH to do half the greasy pans and you do the other half. Double line them with foil and greaseproof paper, too, or silicone sheets that can go in the dishwasher. Then you just have to chuck the paper and give the pans a quick wash.

I love hosting Christmas and having people to stay, ours goes something like this:

Xmas eve - guests arrived and dinner is party food from M&S and drinks. Wine is dotted around in coolers and people help themselves at the bar laid out on the sideboard.

Xmas morning - turkey goes in first thing (dressed with bacon and stuffing the night before) then breakfast is served, pastries or scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and champagne, very easy to cater en mass, then dishwasher on

Xmas lunch -

• potatoes peeled and left in water the night before so just roasted in hot oil
• cabbage pre prepared and reheated,
• parsnips and carrots prepared the day before and in disposable trays to just finish in oven on the day,
• sprouts par boiled the day before and a quick fry with bacon and chestnuts (pre-chopped) on the day
• pigs in blankets in air fryer
• cauli cheese pre prepared to baking stage and finished on the day
• cranberry sauce bought in, bread sauce can be made weeks in advance
• gravy made with turkey juices whilst turkey is resting

Food is laid out buffet style on the kitchen peninsula and husband carves the turkey on the end. Food put back in oven for seconds and then into fridge for leftovers for dinner or Boxing Day.
Allocate one family member to look after drinks whilst you and DH tag team the cooking. Keep filling and setting off dishwasher.

Xmas evening - leftovers served up and cheeseboard for those who want it

Boxing Day morning - bacon sandwiches and pastries, again easy to mass cater

There's been some great advice on this thread. The only thing I wouldn’t do is the turkey/potatoes/gravy the day before as these are really not as nice pre cooked and reheated IMO.

You're making far more than we have. Yes he creates a lot of mess but it's not that hard to keep a dishwasher load going and a few bits by hand too.

None of us are arsed about having 3 kinds of sauces or that many different vegetables. Sounds like you enjoy it being super complicated though. Each to their own.

I still don't think you've told us the age of the dc ?

I mean. if they are babies and toddlers who need to be entertained, that is very different from them being fully grown adults, than all the ages in between.

But I have to agree with the very first reply:
If you aren't going to ask for help the only thing you can do is suck it up or lower your expectations

My dh does the cooking at Christmas, and I don't think clearing up / loading the dishwasher is a bad deal in exchange for having all of that done for us.

We always host Christmas usually anywhere between 12-16 people. The trick is definitely to plan make sure you know about any dietary needs in advance the last thing you need is on 23rd to be told that DS girlfriend has decided to go vegan!!! Make as much as you can in advance and serve dinner at around 3-4pm that means that after a leisurely breakfast at around 10am you can forget about any other meal that day apart from snacks/leftovers. Now our kids are adults we don't do any clearing up at all as we go away on Boxing Day the kids then clear up all the debris and leave the house relatively tidy before joining us on the 28th for New Year in the sun. Then our great cleaner comes in and I always pay her her extra to blitz the place and pack up the decorations and tree so when we arrive back on about Jan 5/6th we can just return to work without any stress. I love preparing for Christmas but hate the putting away of all the festive trimmings.

This just reminds me how I detest Christmas.

There's a bit of a workload disparity here, particularly if your dh enjoys cooking as he's doing all the fun part. Can you cook together, but also share the other aspects of hosting?

I know it’s not environmentally friendly (and we don’t do it any other time of the year!) but we use foil trays for cooking, foil serving platters, paper plates for everything apart from the main dinner (so any snacks, picky bits etc) Plastic glasses

Wash up everything else by hand as we go, tell dh to not be so messy!! My dh cooks Christmas dinner and he manages to use every pan, every utensil etc when it’s not necessary to- he’s just so messy but he has gotten better at it after I pointed it out to him.

Sounds like you enjoy it being super complicated though
I don't think is 'suoer complicated' - it's a standard Christmas Dinner! But I certainly wouldn't be prepping it all on the day.

What time do you have Christmas dinner?

We moved Christmas dinner to 5-6pm a few years ago and honestly the day has been much more relaxing since. We have a brunch with pancakes and eggs in the morning around 11am, then go out for 3-4 hours to enjoy the daylight and play with the kids' new toys, which makes such a difference to our mood compared to being stuck inside prepping dinner and wasting the daylight. We start getting everything ready around 2-3pm when it starts getting dark and have a few nibbles and snacks while waiting for dinner. All the pots and pans are either washed up or put in the dishwasher (which is turned on) before we sit down to Christmas dinner. Then, after dinner we unload the dishwasher, put another dishwasher load on, whip round the table with a rubbish bag and quick hoover of the floor, watch some TV and go to bed. Any further mess is left for the morning.

Not standard to me! Neither in the amount or how much is homemade. But we don't have bread sauce (I don't really know what it is or the point of it), stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce are from jars/packets, then there's turkey, roast potatoes, Brussels, parsnips, 2-3 other veg and pigs-in-blankets. Not much prep needed day before. It's been suggested to DH he does some prep before and he's scoffed at it.

My only contribution is to make Christmas pudding on Stir-Up Sunday and if anyone doesn't like that they can bring something else.

I love that all the hosting is taken care of. Doing all the cleaning up is a totally fair exchange as far as I'm concerned. Cleaning is far less stressful.

I make everything in advance and then freeze.

It's the one meal of the year where the meat and potatoes/parsnips are cooked in disposable foil trays.

I used to do it all on the day for years, including three different quite laborious vegetables . Once I made everything myself including mince pies etc. Then one year OH had flu and I thought I'd get a start on it on Xmas Eve. I couldn't believe how much easier Xmas day was as a result. No one ever told me about prepping in advance!

Go out for the meal.

That costs hundreds and the meal is inevitably awful with resentful staff who would rather be at home.

Never found that in my experience.
Have helped make dinner for the homeless on many occasions, that's good too.

To me, a homemade Xmas dinner is just a roast dinner of roast poultry, potatoes, gravy, some vegetables, and asking guests to bring some booze and a dessert, maybe later on have a slice of bought Xmas cake. If my guests wanted all these trimmings I would suggest they bought some and brought them on the day.

I dunno, if I was cooking for a lot of people I would keep it simple. I see ppl on MN preparing these multi dish, multi course meals for a ton of ppl, then wondering why they find Xmas exhausting…

Hundreds?!