What can I do to make Christmas day more easier ?

[mytoiletbrush]

We host Christmas day. Its me, DH, x3DC, my parents & inlaws.

We have dinner then sit around chatting all eve with drinks. By the time its the evening I sit looking at the mess of the house and thinking how much work it will be to tidy up, having already loaded/unloaded the dishwasher several times during the day and laid/cleared the table, kept drinks topped up, snacks replenished, manually washed up as we have ran out of glasses & plates & cutlery etc between courses and throughout the day. Dh cooks the whole meal (his choice and contribution) but he makes so much mess. Boxing day morning I then spend clearing up the second half of Christmas day which includes a full floor wash, more loading/unloading the dishwasher, full tidy up, trying to fit the food leftovers into the fridge, kitchen wipe down and clean. Its exhausting.

I wouldn't ask the parents to help, they have spent their life catering for us/doing Christmas over the years Its their time to relax.

Going out for dinner is not an option.

Because it sounds like really, really over the top meal. Do people even want this? I’d be stuffed to the gills with half of that food.

"That costs hundreds and the meal is inevitably awful with resentful staff who would rather be at home."

Don't know where you're going but we are going out for the first time this year after 3 separate families absolutely raved about a pub in our town last year. The staff there are wonderful. It's not hundreds either. So looking forward to it.

One possibility is to do the big meal/family get together as a meal out a few days before or after Xmas. And on Xmas day itself, just do a cold meal where everyone brings something to share - a salad, some sandwiches, cold meat or whatever, a dessert items….

We have Xmas dinner on Xmas Eve. I get a nice quiet day prepping and cooking (and avoiding everyone) in the kitchen. I can then clean as I go. We load the dishwasher on a quick wash after every course, and the children are in charge of clearing the table.

Xmas day starts with my husband and son doing brunch. We open presents after that, and have a buffet mid afternoon. I don't miss any of the present opening, and it is all quite relaxed. We have a drinks station for anyone to help themselves, but my husband is in charge of any topping up and hot drinks. .

There is no way that I would countenance Xmas dinner on paper plates. It is a Best China occasion.

a homemade Xmas dinner is just a roast dinner of roast poultry, potatoes, gravy, some vegetables,

That's essentially what I do with some extra sides and sauces that are made ahead of time. No starter, just the main course and a pudding that has also been made in advance. It doesn't have to be exhausting to make Christmas dinner a bit more special than a basic roast.
There's nothing wrong with buying some/all of it in, I just prefer homemade but it doesn't have to be.

It sounds like you host a really lovely Christmas OP. You seem happy with husbands cooking and not letting others help, don't want to go out . He could prep lots in the days before as others have said. Otherwise is he avoiding guests . Otherwise I'm not sure what can change.

Buy extra cutlery and wine glasses/champagne flutes so you can have fresh glasses without constantly washing up.
I have cheap white plates from IKEA just for Christmas day, lots of them, always guaranteed to match and have extra in case of unexpected guests (has happened in the past!).
Disposable table cloths are easy but if not have at least two or three so they can be taken off, washed and replaced easily.

The average cost is at least £80 a head . If it's a family of five who all drink too, that's a lot of money. If there are more than five ...

I do as much on Christmas Eve as possible:

First, extract all plates and glasses from DCs' rooms!

Prep sauces (cranberry and bread sauce), and make the giblet stock.
Prep carrots, brussels, parsnips and put them in large ziplock bags in water.
Make the stuffing.
Make a veggie main for DS.

On Christmas Day, make the monumentous decision as to when to put the turkey in the oven - before church or afterwards. Then let it cook. Peel the potatoes. Once cooked and out of the oven, start to put on the vegetables, pigs in blankets, and stuffing. There's now a 45 minute timer.

Make sure the kitchen is clean before plating up.

After the meal, rinse off the plates. Put any leftovers in plastic tubs. Although, as we are 9 adults, we really don't have meaningful leftovers. We don't do puddings or nibbles - everyone is too full. Happy to provide these on the days either side of Christmas.

Everyone else watches TV or plays board games which do not interest me, so I am happy to potter in the kitchen.

In our house, DH handles the turkey, and I do everything else. It has worked for us for almost 40 years. Love it!

Still no word on why the 3x dc aren't contributing ?

DH does useful or helpful things but usually the ones he gets some enjoyment from ....so while of course it is very helpful to cook a meal, there is more pleasure in that (choosing ingredients, listening to the radio, having a glass of wine, avoiding awkward guests using 100 pans that someone else will sort out etc) than for example, cleaning the loo, wiping down surfaces, putting away unused ingredients or washing up multiple greasy trays that don't fit in the dishwasher.

Yes exactly! Guests don't say thanks for cleaning the bathroom floor and throwing bleach down the loo. They do say thank you for a wonderful meal!

But it's far less stressful. I would clean the house top to bottom every day of the week rather than cook a Christmas dinner. I'd far rather do the the thing that brings order to chaos rather than the reverse. Plus the idea of having to perform by cooking things just right with all the timings and decisions about what to do makes me stressed just thinking about it.

I think cooking can be stressful because you are so often cleaning up as you go and keeping the kitchen in some sort of order whilst doing so. I imagine cooking with wild abandon knowing someone will clean up after you is much more fun!

But its like the classic BBQ scenario. The woman is often the one who shops, prepares the meat, makes the side dishes and clears up. The man flips the burgers at the BBQ and all the guests marvel at his amazing skills.

Because the OP is being a martyr.

Refusing to get the 5+ other adults to help ... And then moaning about it.

Barbecues for us are same as Christmas dinner or indeed nearly all our other cooking, certainly any that is for guests. DH does all the food choosing, buying, cooking and serving.

I swan in at the last minute then do all the clearing up and washing up. As far as I'm concerned I still have the easier and less stressful end of the deal.

“ Easier” or “ more easy”

. I would clean the house top to bottom every day of the week rather than cook a Christmas dinner. I'd far rather do the the thing that brings order to chaos rather than the reverse

If you come and clean my house top to bottom, I'll happily come and cook your Christmas Dinner!

No chaos in our kitchen but that's years and years of practice and lots prepped ahead, so the preparation on the day isn't much more than a normal roast dinner.

Most of the people I know who find Christmas Dinner stressful don't cook much the rest of the time or not a roast dinner at least so of course it's a much bigger deal.

A good time plan will take a lot of the stress out of the cooking. Also because turkey can rest for ages covered in foil and a towel, it's not a big deal if eg the roast potatoes are taking ages to cook and you're running behind.

If you come and clean my house top to bottom, I'll happily come and cook your Christmas Dinner!
No need, I have DH for that! He doesn't find it stressful because he is used to cooking all the time. This is not a situation I am interested in changing.

And there is some chaos. The table with all the serving dishes and plates and bits of party poppers is pretty chaotic. Regardless of how much prep you do the very act of serving and eating creates a ton of mess that I enjoy kicking everyone else out of the kitchen to clean up in peace and quiet.

Thanks for that ever so helpful comment.

Also, you forgot to punctuate. Awkward.

“ Easier” or “ more easy”. There you go ShoopShoopShoopShoop.

Wrong again 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did you add a space after the first quotation marks? And why didn't you end with a full stop?

Jeez, if you're going to make a point to criticise someone's grammar, spelling or sentence structure and double down with the smugness ... at least make sure you've got yours right! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We ate out last year. £80 per head adult.
£40 per child
2 adults. 2 teens that have adult portions 2 children
£420. Plus around £50 in drinks on the day.

It was ok and I say OK only because the atmosphere was good with the others who we booked with. The starter and pudding were good. The main. Well a microwave meal from tesco would have been nicer.
Potatoes were rubbery. Sprouts so hard we couldn't cut them , and the parsnips.
Meat was OK quite watery but not really awful.
Stuffing was so dry it crumbled.

But it was a relaxing Xmas not cooking and prepping. But not worth nearly £500 at all.

ShoopShoopShoopShoop the space was accidental. And there is a full stop.