just got back from japan. omg wow.

[TheBlueHoney]

What a country! I saw much right there compared to Britain. 100x better infrastructure, friendlier people, safer street, luxury amazing looking roads, most well behaved children I've ever seen, modesty, people dress well, public transport etiquette, quality of food and healthy population, fantastic healthcare, longest life expectancy, lowest infant mortality, prices/affordability about same as London but get way more for your money everything better quality and no tipping culture, public bathrooms accessible everywhere and so clean and modern with built in tech. I could go on and on.

@TheBlueHoney

I know Japan presents as a most amazing, tidy, neat, brilliant culture, almost futuristic, perfect place, perfect people, perfect life. But nothing is what it seems. If you feel it's such a brilliant place, may I respectfully suggest you go and try and live there for two or three years ... ? See what you think of it then. I think your opinion may change somewhat.

It may come across as absolutely perfect, but if you paid me £1,000,000 I wouldn't leave the UK .. For all its flaws there is was no way that I want to move and live in Japan. It's not all sunshine and roses. And especially moreso when it comes to incomers.

Someone I know who moved there (and came back to the UK after 2 years) said 'it's good for short term goals, but not for long-term survival. There are so many restrictions on you as a foreigner, that are rarely lifted.'

The Japanese are friendly and courteous, and hardworking and industrious, and whilst they will give you acknowledgement, you will never be fully accepted by them. Even marrying a Japanese person, will not automatically give you citizenship to Japan.

I always wonder about countries where generations coexist apparently happily. Is Japan one of those? Is it because they had no serious ‘youthquake’ such as the 50s/60s/70s brought in many countries in Western Europe and the U.S. as a response after WW2?
These seemingly more mature or interconnected societies may or may not lose out on ‘youth culture’ as we know it in the UK, but they seem to find a lot of value in other people which is a good thing. I don’t always think western individualism is healthy I guess I am trying to say.

I just got back too. Not worth the flight price imo, though nature is very beautiful there. Everything screams instructions at you at all times (in either a submissive girly voice or a friendly grandma voice); the maid cafe culture is so sad and horrible; school girl porn on display next to tooth brushes; Kyoto had tons of cockroaches running out of the drains; people love rules, bus drivers shouting at us, "One by one" - you cannot touch out your children's travel passes; architecture gets boring quickly (Europe has so much more character); so many of the places we stayed in didn't even have windows (low budget to blame). The intercity train ticket system is incredibly confusing but before anyone would help, the station attendants always checked we had the right ticket and weren't trying to sneak out I don't think this is polite to assume we are trying to get out of paying (this happened a few times). The friendliness feels quite fake too, but that's a personal opinion.

There were some positive things too (amazing food), but I wouldn't go again. My Japanese friends in London say they would never go back to live there.

It's my dream holiday, I would love to go. I want to go to Tokyo first and stay in Asakusa. I would love to go to Nara, Kyoto, Yokohama and everywhere else too though! Nara and Kyoto and osaka are near each other. We stayed at osaka a d got the train to the other places.

Where did you stay? Did you go to Shibuya?
I would really recommend Japan for a holiday.

can i share my expierence, although you are aski g the Op.
For our first time we mainly did the three cities, Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka. We did other things like Honcho street to see mount Fuji.
It is dead easy to travel round. You do t need a package holiday, in fact that could be limiting. We had an idea of what we wanted to do but booked accommodation as we went along which gave us flexibility to stay longer in one place or move on.

My tips would be:
fill in immigration card before you land, it saves a lot of time.
2 sort out a pocket wifi to pick up at airport before you leave. You just drop it off on your way home. or get an e sim for your phone e, take a battery pack! Your going to use your phone a lot for directions info translations and photos!

3 Comfy shoes - you are going to be walking and exploring loads!

4 make use of the luggage forward service. Suitcases and big rucksacks are hard work on trains. It is not expensive to use a forwarding service. They pick your suitcase up and deliver to the next hotel. Our bags were waiting in our room when we arrived.

5 Realise Tokyo is not typical of the rest of Japan, like London is not typical of the UK. Tokyo is bright, brash and fun to explore!

6 There are loads of amazing day trips to be had if you base yourself in Tokyo.

7Matcha is just like eating grass!!!!

8 The scramble crossing is good fun at rush hour but make sure you take the lift to floor R (I think it is) in the department store next to the crossing. You pay to go on this floor but it includes a drink, either alcholic or non alcoholic, and you have an amazing birds eye view of the crossing. Try to go just as it's getting dark.

9Flights are incredibly expensive at cherry blossom season. However the blossoms were late this year. Outside peak season flights from the UK are reasonable. Don't go in the summer unless you like hot humid weather.

10 Go on the Shinkansen but unless you are going to be on it all the time the JR pass is not good value anymore.

Don't bother with hotel breakfasts. Many were overpriced. Try the cafes or stores at the railway stations. Good value and it's where the locals eat. Also convience store food and drinks are really good!

11Talking about railway stations goggle maps is your friend here giving you lots of info about which exit to leave. Some stationary huge with one having 200 exit's!

12 Dont bother with taxis. They are expensive and public transport is great.

if you are thinking of going do some research on instagram for ideas. I did most of my research from there and it paid off with good tips on etiquette, things to do and try etc.

Of course Japan isn't perfect,
however there aren't that many countries in the world that are. I loved being a visitor there and would go back. I felt extremely safe. I always have my guard up both at home or the away but I had no bad vibes.
I'm saving up to go back!

I remember that thread. I've been told by a Japanese woman that birth is a totally medicalised procedure: you go in, you lie on your back quietly with your legs in stirrups, they get the baby out one way or another (it sounded as if the woman was barely consulted on what was done) and you're just expected to go along with everything silently and without fuss. I can also remember hearing a Japanese woman talking about going into a police station to report being raped and being expected (this was their standard procedure) to act out how it had happened, including lying on the floor with a policeman on top of her, pretending to rape her, while she acted out how she'd tried to resist and other police stood round observing. It's not surprising, is it, that the level of rape reporting is very low in Japan?

I'm not knocking Japan or trying to pretend that north-western Europe is vastly different or better because it's clearly not. We just don't hide the mess and dirt and struggle (otherwise known as real life for most people) as well as some other cultures.

You can only have single citizenship in Japan so I doubt many non-Japanese want to give up the citizenship of their own country, even if they plan on staying in Japan long term.

This aspect of the culture is so open and absolutely everywhere. It says that this is an unquestioned feature of how women and girls are viewed which is really disturbing. The respect for community and responsible attitude being drummed into tiny kids is awe inspiring. Nursery aged kids brushing floors and doing jobs is so healthy. Love the decisions the Japanese made after the 2nd world war, owing to never have another army and change the entire social structure. Very interesting culture.

Also Japanese have outstanding steel and kitchen knife craftsmanship. And those laser-sharp knives are OFF the streets.

The distribution and selling of child pornography was only banned in 1999. This is only if it features human activity. You can still legally purchase comic books that depict cartoons of child pornography. There are cafes where sleazy old men can buy the company of 15 and 16 year olds who will serve them alcohol exclusively all night. You can buy used schoolgirls underwear in vending machines. I wouldn't go there if you offered to fly me first class.

This^

japan is absolutely amazing for a long visit but to live there? Less so.

I’ve know two people who lived there for a few years, one was fluent in Japanese and was constantly being mocked publicly for her looks (they assumed she didn’t understand) and another male was spat at more than once.

obviously a tiny reflection and I found Japan to be very welcoming and safe , but culturally I’m not sure it’s super accepting to difference.

If you have university graduate age children I can thoroughly recommend the Jet scheme

You go and teach English in a Japanese school for 1 year plus. Many spend several years there.

My daughter got back last year from doing it and she learned so much and came back so grown up and confident, I could barely believe it.

www.jet-uk.org

OMG that is insane!

Same rule for boys?

So does Ukraine:-) The maraging steel production was disrupted by war but is back now, and it's much cheaper than the Japanese stuff.

The OP really enjoyed her time in Japan..for her own reasons.
Then everyone else is pulling it to pieces.
Exactly!
I, and others, are going there as tourists to visit the place and see something different. We are not going there to live or work there. People go on holiday to countries like India which in certain areas also has huge problems with women, rape, misogyny etc.
Name nearly every country in the world and some one will counter with ' yes but...' and piss all over it.

I went for the first time earlier this year and have just a couple of days ago booked flights to go back next year. It was was my number one bucket list destination for 20+ years and I absolutely loved it.

However, I have Japanese friends (and British friends who previously lived in Japan for several years) and I have read/heard/seen enough to know that the tourist experience is very different; what we see when visiting is basically a shiny veneer covering a lot of rot. I would never want to live there, especially as a woman.

There is just less wealth inequality there, that's all. You can leave a smartphone on public bench and it will still be there 5 hours later. Why? Because very few people are poor enough to need to steal it.

Just marking a space as I'd like to read this thread.

My one tip would be try to get out of the hustle and bustle of cities as much as possible. It quickly gets too much. Everything is incredibly busy, like going to the Lake District at the height of the summer.

Also carry small plastic bags, there are very few bins.

Who are you to say what proper discipline is? Do you live in this country that doesn't discipline their children properly? Do your children play with those undisciplined children? Or do you separate yourself from 'us' like other cultures do?

Japan is incredibly misogynistic. Years ago as a young senior director I ran an alliance with a Japanese company and their boss who was visiting from Japan asked me how I got my job as he couldn't understand how a young woman had got into a leadership position. He wasn't being intentionally rude, it was just unthinkable to him. The expat Japanese man I worked directly with also told me him and his wife were never going back to Japan as his children had been raised outside the country and would never fit in as culturally they weren't Japanese. It was particularly a problem for girls.

Glad you enjoyed your trip, OP.

I've lived in Japan for about 20 years and I can’t see myself going back to the UK to live now. Things I love about Japan:

Free childcare from 0-6 years old. You just have to prove you are in work to get a place (provided places are available).
Easy to access healthcare at a reasonable price. I can get same day appointments for both doctors and dentists where I live. Recently had a lot of dental work and I think I paid about 20 pounds in total.
Safe streets. There is very little violent crime and I feel safe walking around most places in Tokyo at night alone.
The infrastructure works. Every time I go back to the UK a bus or train gets cancelled or delayed and I’m left stranded somewhere. In Japan almost the only things that cause delays are typhoons or earthquakes.
No catcalling or stupid comments from men (“smile love, it might never happen”).
Affordable housing. You can buy a family house just outside Tokyo for about 150,000 (or even less if you’re willing to live in a really old place). Renting an apartment is reasonable even close to the centre of Tokyo.
Amazing food.

On the other hand, there is some negative stuff that you might not really experience unless you live here.

Rigid hierarchies in every area of life.

Very long work hours.
Rigid gender roles.
Loneliness for many people.
Lots of pervy old men preying on young girls.

Every society has trade offs. I think in the US and probably the UK, we value personal freedom over the collective. In Japan, they sacrifice personal freedom to a certain extent to keep society running smoothly. All the things we like and admire about Japan would disappear if the invisible rules of society were torn up.

I think it's just annoying when someone goes to a country on holiday and then comes back raving about it with seemingly no critical thinking at all. I have spent a lot of time working in Japan, I love Japan, I see its many wonderful facets. But it's idiotic to paint it as some nirvana of perfection and it would take only a tiny amount of effort to see that, like most places, there are good and bad things about it.

This. People are not trying to rip the OP’s holiday apart. Just paint a more balanced picture of Japan.

Maybe not in Hampstead or metropolitan chattering class land but certainly amongst some demographics it’s not great. All depends on who you mix with, where you live.

Id love to go