Hand hold for a tough few days

[anxietyaardvark]

Is anyone around to offer a gentle hand hold?

I'm having an awful time at the moment and would be very grateful for some company.

I'm here 🙂. We can just sit or I'll listen if you want to talk.

I'll hold your hand x

What’s up my love. Let us help you X

You OK op?

We can chat about what's wrong and Im sure MN can come up wuth some solutions or ways to get support.

Or if you don't fancy that and just fancy a random natter to keep your mind off stuff, you could give me your opinion on this coffee table. I'm undecided.

Totally up to you 💐

Thank you all. Really appreciate you being here.

I have some scary things to face up to tomorrow. I'm autistic, care for two autistic kids, work full time, menopausal and have awful depression and anxiety. My Mum is being treated for cancer for the third time. I am so scared about it all and the future and so very low.

Got some scary letters on Friday and then heard that someone I know had very shady killed themselves near my house. It's all just tipped me over the edge a bit.

Sadly not shady

@FatmanandKnobbin I actually love that table. Hanging washing out is one of my favourite things to do - I am a total weirdo. And I love my old wooden pegs.

OK op.

Let's break things down.

Are you getting any HRT for the menopause?

I'm in peri right now and everything feels so overwhelming, I've been told HRT will help a lot with that.

If you haven't already get yourself to the doctors, also just get a blood test and check thyroid etc, just to rule out anything physical.

Are you due any time off work, or could you get signed off for a few days, just to have a small break while you sort through the letters and things?

Are you on any sort of support groups for families if those with cancer? You can get invaluable support there without having to speak to your mum about it all.

It really does sound like you have a lot on and you're feeling overwhelmed. I have ADHD and I really do find it easier to look at one thing at a time, see what I can do about it and then move into the next thing or I find it all piles up and I feel like I can't breathe.

That's a lot, OP. No wonder you're finding it hard 💐

I love that table too. Just looked at mine and felt really vanilla 🙂

I struggle to hang washing out, I have a large breed twat of a dog who pulls everything off the line, takes it to the muddiest bit if the garden then triumphantly sits on it.

I'm definitely getting the peg table though.

@FatmanandKnobbin

I also have adhd and get increasingly overwhelmed. I also need to make lists and break everything down. But being a carer my stuff always gets pushed aside.

I have three kids - two with ASC and one NT ish.

But yes, one of the calls I should make tomorrow should be to the GP

@FatmanandKnobbin

I have a cat and two continental giant rabbits so they can't reach the washing. The pigeons though. They sit on the line and then poop down it sometimes.

Dog sounds lovely though.

I've done some work today and yesterday so that I can take some time off this week. Working calms me though - I feel in control and productive. Which I don't feel at all when it comes to my home life.

I would start with the GP, you can't look after everyone else if you're not looking after yourself.

I'm also a carer for my dd, so totally get it, but you can't always put yourself on the back burner.

Are you working tomorrow, and are the dcs at school?

If you're off and they are at school set yourself 20 mins in the morning to make yourself some lists. Then call the docs and try and arrange an appointment.

Continental giant rabbits, wow they sound amazing.

What colour are they, and what colour is your cat?

The pigeons around here only shit the day after the window cleaners have been, I swear they follow them on their rounds to keep them in work.

This is the twat dog, she's lovely, but a real pain in arse. I wouldn't be without her though.

@FatmanandKnobbin

I'll be off and all three of them will be at school so I'll have some time.

I keep thinking of all the things I have to do and it's stomach churning. I'm paralysed. So scared and anxious.

Nights can be very hard.

My cat is b&w splodgy. Matches your lovely pooch.

The bunnies are grey. They each weigh about 8kg. They are good friends with the cat and they love to spend time together.

I love hanging washing out however I've learnt that my male dog can cock his leg up on it if it's not high enough 😭 can you write yourself a list of what you need to do so you feel more in control and organised

are you doing up the whole living room or just getting a new table?

Wow. That is some reach.

Yes. A list will be the first job.

I totally get it.

I really do find that 20 minutes is my magic number. I set myself a task, and a timer for 20 minutes, then that's all I have to think about for a while. I find it much easier to do things that way.

So if I were you, 20 minutes of making lists.

Have a 10 minute break for a cuppa.

20 minutes to make calls.

10 min break.

20 minutes to deal with letters.

10 min break.

Etc.

I know it's easy for me to say, but just one task at a time, and you'll get through the stuff you can deal with so much more quickly.

There's a certain amount that you can't really deal with, I absolutely understand, these are the things I would talk to the doctor about and try and get some help. If you feel calmer and less anxious then you won't feel so overwhelmed.

Would it help to make your list on here, love?

It would. One of the calls that I have to make is to StepChange as I have debts that I haven't been able to deal with. I'm so ashamed of myself for this.