Hand hold for a tough few days

[anxietyaardvark]

Is anyone around to offer a gentle hand hold?

I'm having an awful time at the moment and would be very grateful for some company.

Thanks all. I'm so scared.

Love this!

I just looked this up. Did you realise that it's made from acrylic and not actually wooden? It's also 23kg! 😬

I wanted that wallpaper but wasn't brave enough. Kicking myself now.

www.instagram.com/reel/C9Dd_Pqu-M0/?igsh=MTM3OXBtdGU3c2ljdQ==

I'm up at this hour as I have a newborn, not because the advice doesn't work 😂

I'm up and getting ready and kids ready. Just overwhelming dread and panic.

Deep breaths….youve got this 🥰

Thank you...

At my desk now with a cuppa making a list. Trying to share a chair with the cat but glad he is here.

Kids at school, one load of washing on the line and another in the machine. Dishwasher done.

Got to do this now. So scared.

That’s great, you’re two loads ahead of me.
Take a deep breath (maybe look at 7:11 breathing - I’ve used this a few times in my life when scared or anxious)💐

I used to be a payment counsellor, happy for you to message me and go through things.

also, just another note, when things got too much for me and I was at breaking point I learned that there there are somethings you can’t change (for example outside sources) and some things you can. Sometimes just taking control of something can change can make all the difference. For me it was reducing my hours at work for a while. Just so I wasn’t quite so tired as a single mum, I had been on my own as soon as I went back to work FT so the sleepless nights just took their toll on me (maternity was only 4 months at that time) is there anything that you can do to lighten the load, however small, that might help. Just a thought.

finally (sorry waffling) you will be scared right up until you talk about it, that in itself will feel like a weight lifted, as its progress, it’s the start of making things better. It’s brave, just talking is brave. 🥰

You are all so kind.

I've managed to ring the dr and make an appointment with my favourite GP to talk through my autism, adhd and anxiety needs changing with peri.

I already take citalopram daily for anxiety. The appoint isn't for a couple of weeks but it's made.

I've put the StepChange phone number into my phone and the one for my employer's counselling service.

Scraping up the courage to call now.

Rounded up all the towels and put on another wash.

You’re doing brilliantly xxx

well done.
You're going to have a few nice ticks on your list xxx

I rang StepChange. Thanks for holding my hand. It's going to take some more work to sort out but I have made a start.

I also spoke to my employee assistance line. They have a range of things available. Not quite right for now but good to know they are there.

To get sorted with StepChange I have to open a number of very scary letters. I can't even look at them at the moment but I think I'll be able to this week. This is so hard.

The StepChange people I spoke to were amazing. Kind and knowledgable. Spoke to me in a way that I could understand. I'm so grateful for them.

Thats good to hear @anxietyaardvark

Scary letters are just letters.

They're just words on a page.

Once you open them and read them, they loose their power.

You'll be reet lady.

You will.

Kids are home.

I picked up my DS14 from his special autism school and he said he wanted to go shopping on the way home. He chose a new toothbrush, some toothpaste and his favourite cheese. We had a lovely chat the whole way.

The other two are good. One is planning her 11th birthday party and my littlest has had a better day.

She is also autistic with an EHCP and I had to speak to her school this morning about her anxiety but it sounds like they have made some changes today which have helped.

It's so much everyday with disabled kids.

My Mums radiotherapy today was cancelled as the machine is broken. She is on stand by for tomorrow. It's session 6 of 7.

It's also her third round of cancer treatment. She is so unbelievably brave. She is two hours away from me and I wish I could be there more.

Thanks you @Galiana and @ssd

Scary Letter
most of the time with debt, unless you own your own home there really isn’t a lot that can be done to get money back. If you haven’t got it, you can’t give it. I don’t know your circumstances but the one and only payment that really matters is the roof over your head. If you’ve got that covered, the rest can be worked out. Doesn’t matter how slowly. Loads can be done to help. So, open one each day or rip the band aid and do it all at once. Your pace but please do try and remember that it will get sorted and once you have got things in place, you will feel sooooooo much better. You’re in control here.
sounds like a great really productive day - you should be very proud given how upset you are. Super 🤩

I agree with @Gonk123

I know you dont feel it but you sound unbelievably strong @anxietyaardvark . Like you have an inner strength powering you on.

Thank you. I don't feel strong. I feel so small.

I've got a long day ahead of me today. Working off site so I have to do a long drive which means my thoughts will totally undistracted. I'll listen to things but I find driving by myself really hard due to all the spiralling.

I've decided to make sure I do one thing a day towards getting the financial stuff sorted out.

Still very scared and ashamed but I have a plan.

Also horrible heavy peri period started today.

I used to hate long drives…so have you got anyone you can call to chat with. I always used to ring my mum on a morning to help take my mind off things.

If not get a good playlist perhaps?

well done on the finances…one step at a time x