My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

Was wrong to say it wasn't an emergency

Did you read a PP about how 111 actually works?

He's had some chest pains, ECG etc., done, the heart attack blood test done, all that has come back clear so he's been given some stronger painkillers and some anxiety meds (they think he's having anxiety) and he's now apparently chatting to a nurse and the old lady in the bed next to him about the football! Sounds like he's feeling a little better and the fluids have perked him up, now it's just a case of getting to the bottom of why this is happening

I understand how it works, but to say it wasn't an emergency and that ringing 999 would be a "waste of time", while also sending out an ambulance, is a strange thing to do imo

So they sent an ambulance, but they're still negligent?

That's all so worrying. Any idea what could have triggered this? Has he had an operation/treatment/change of medication or anything medically invasive within the last few months? Anything that could have caused trauma to his insides?

I'm sorry you feel that the GP and 111 call handler didn't treat your dad's condition seriously enough but your parents have massively minimised how ill he was. Your mum took 10 days to phone the GP and your dad never phoned. I wonder if the GP thought they would have called sooner if he genuinely couldn't keep any fluids down for 10 days. Your dad refused to let you and your mum take him to A & E but the 111 handler did send an ambulance, and possibly faster than 999 would have done. He has been admitted to hospital within a few hours. I hope they get to the root of his issues quickly.

They contacted the GP, the GP fobbed them off.

He's had an endoscopy lately, and changed his beta blockers 3 months ago but they're still not sure 😕he's being kept in as he's very dehydrated and they want to get a lot of fluids into him

I hope they get to the bottom of it quickly, OP

It does sound like your GP has let you down and the 111 handler didn't get what was really going on there. THat's a seriously worrying weight loss in the space of just a couple of weeks, that alone should have alarmed your GP

They can't see any evidence of bacterial infection in his bloods so they think it must be viral. No real help they give him other than fluids etc it seems 😕

Keep ringing 111 and tell them exactly how dehydrated he is. I had to ring 3 times before I finally got an ambulance for something else.

It took your parents 10 days to contact the doctor, and from what you’ve said it’s likely they minimised the symptoms when talking to the doctor. In the 4 days since they rang the GP, some tests were arranged, which were normal. Despite getting more unwell, your Dad refused to go to hospital until the paramedic told him to. I don’t think you can blame the medical people in this situation.
I hope your Dad makes a speedy recovery.

@IWasHittingMyMarks the 111 call handler sent a paramedic, pretty quickly by the sound of it.

So glad he's looking better op. It looks as if 111 dispatched the ambulance quite quickly in the end.

It may be time to try to persuadé your parents to start thinking about nearer to you. With only one hospital in Cornwall it isn't the best place to be elderly and frail . . .

2.5 stone in two weeks is a kilogram per day. To burn that off as fat you would have to use 9,000 calories per day with zero input -- and even if he has been eating nothing he probably hasn't been using more than 2,000 calories.

If you are sure about the numbers then based on this alone, something is seriously wrong beyond anxiety.

That is really weird....a body which is not on the way to dying does not behave so ill without a reason

Ring 999 your dad will suffer his organs will start shutting down. You can't sit there watching him.

Are they taking him to Treliske or Derriford? Derriford is incredibly frantic, but better than Treliske IMO. Sending a handhold.

@4andup she didn’t sit there. 111 sent a paramedic and he is now in hospital.

They said the same to my uncle, turns out he was having a heart attack then died 2 days later. They said if he had been in hospital he would of had a chance to survive but he was left with a dying heart for 76 hours

yeah it's bizarre, all I can guess is he's picked up a virus somewhere? They will be taking samples again and running more tests, it's so strange as my mum hasn't been poorly at all

this isn't really helpful as he's in hospital, has had bloods to check if he's had a heart attack, an ecg to check heart function and is being continually monitored 😕

As a clinician, I can assure you that the vast majority of people that I work with are kind and compassionate and do the very best for our patients. There are people who should not be healthcare workers, but they are the exception and certainly not ‘plenty’.
In contrast, 100% of my clinical colleagues are working under often extreme pressure, with falling apart and failing facilities. Many people work hours of unpaid overtime and this is needed just to keep services going.
Lots of NHS workers are unhappy and rightly so. If everyone who was unhappy left, there wouldn’t be an NHS

No need for that, OP! Thoughtful was clearly just sharing her own experience and commiserating about having also suffered from poor NHS advice. In her case the outcome was a lot worse; I don’t think it warranted the snippy reply!