My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

Glad you pushed for it. We didn't and believed 111 when they sent my dad to A&E twice for the same thing. We also believed the doctors when they said he was fine and gave him antibiotics.
All they kept saying was it was covid and to do a covid test. It wasn't covid. We knew it wasn't but they wouldnt listen.
He was dead 3 days later of heart failure which had they done some basic tests and blood tests would have been treatable.
I would never hesitate to ring an ambulance now, especially after one I know telling me the ridiculous crap some people ring one for.
He was let down so so badly by the hospital and it ended in the worst outcome that just didn't need to be.

Always advocate for someone that's too ill and saying they're probably fine. He also didn't want to bother anyone and paid the price when they didn't bother with him

happened to my dad a few years ago, the doctor kept saying it was just D&V

he passed out on the bathroom floor and bumped his head so 999 was called, he was in and out of hospital for 3 months!

Will people please stop attacking the OP? She is obviously very distressed thinking about her seriously ill father, and traumatised after observing his deterioration. I would feel the same if it was my dad and nobody could figure out what was wrong. This is not the time to nit pick or be offended because of how she has described her experience.

What was wrong with him then? Could this be a recurrence?

campylobacter, thankfully not! he said this isn't even 1 tenth as bad as that was and he's been pretty unwell this time

Your comprehension should are lacking if you thought that posters comments were about your dad's condition.

Thank God you're healthy I wouldn't want to be sick in an underfunded NHS. I want to die of natural causes in my sleep 🤞

I was panicking. He's not eaten in 10 days, keeping no food and water down and could not stay away. Even now at the hospital he's barely conscious.

SadGirlAutumn · Today 19:39
Apparently he has the whole department laughing as he has demanded an eye mask (fashioned out of face masks!) and he is now snoring the place down

and now you say he’s chatting to the lady next to him. So is he unconscious, asleep, making everyone guffaw? Which one is it?

The fluids have apparently really perked him up, my mum is shocked as he was SO unwell

Not sure why anyone would try and say I'm making it up, I was seriously panicking and scared

I’m not that healthy actually, but thanks for just assuming.

I’ve had to use the NHS on multiple occasions so far this year but don’t have any complaints about the treatment I’ve received, nor the speed of it. I know that’s not always true for everyone, but the relentless bashing by amateur doctors on Mumsnet really starts to fuck you off after a while.

I don't think that's fair she's had a scare and isn't thinking clearly.

It's your choice I feel you need to act now you I have called an ambulance for less you deserve to have a your father looked at and taken care of

Glad he’s at the hospital OP and they’re taking it seriously at last. I totally agree with you, that with the severity of symptoms and the length of the illness, the GP and 111 call handler have let you down massively. Dehydration alone can be so dangerous, so to allow him to get into that state after so many days and repeated requests for help…. It’s poor service from these health professionals, and the extra stress added to an already terrifying situation is exactly what you all did not need.

i hope scans and tests come back with something they can treat easily and let’s hope your dad is back fighting fit in no time. You did the right thing today advocating for him when he needed you. You may well have helped save his life.

I am sorry to hear that and I understand how you feel especially if you are in regular contact with doctors and nurses it's the last thing you want to hear.

it's crazy how unwell dehydration can make someone, but how easily it's treated! they want to monitor his bloods etc and get more fluids in him, but he may be sent home tomorrow dependent on scans

i do wonder what would happen if someone could just come and do one of those drips at home, would've saved this i think

But he was both barely conscious and having everyone laughing and then asleep within 15 mins. And you’re not even there.

and in between this he’s had bloods and results and an ECG and got a bloody consultant to see him at 9pm on a Saturday night.

Id say this is a very good NHS if anything…

every was laughing AT him, not he was making everyone laugh. he asked for something to cover his eyes, and people laughed at him for caring about that.

Absolutely. I have had the most mundane, easily treatable health issues turn into something much worse requiring hospitalisation due to dehydration alone, making everything a million times worse.
I suspect they could’ve helped make this less traumatic and even slowed your father’s decline with simple fluids. It shouldn’t have come to this imo.
Still. He is in the right place NOW! Focus on that for the time being. You can focus on dealing with the negligent medical workers once you’ve got your dad stable and when you’re feeling less fraught too. You sound like you’ve had the day from Hell. Hope you can find a moment for yourself to decompress. Stress is also dangerous, so look after yourself OP. Love to you, your dad and your mum too. Hope things look much brighter soon!

maybe we should have something like those IV companies in the us who can come and do drips, it's worrying too as he was drinking diaolorite (sp???) and it's done nothing

it's been an awful day, i'm waiting up to see my mum home but imagine i will be asleep on the sofa before long!

Thanks and sorry if that was a little snippy. So much criticism and doom and gloom when most nhs workers are, I know, just trying to do their best in an imperfect system. All of the fear of illness and mistakes stoked by the media just makes it all so much harder.

This Is so troubling and shocking for you as your father’s daughter, @SadGirlAutumn
I think it might be a kindness that you can’t see your dad in the hospital — the first time I saw my dad lying there in a hospital bed, my big, strong dad so vulnerable and weak lying there - it was shocking and frightening to me, even adding to my anxiety over his illness.
Your father is where he belongs now, and you can relax a bit knowing the professionals there will look after him. Although their laughing at him I find wholly unacceptable.
I’m sending love from California - don’t forget to look after yourself. ❤️

thank you ❤i think the laughing was in good faith, some of the doctors and nurses knew him from last time he was there, i'm glad he's doing better

Based on the fact that 111 AND 999 both told them not to bother with 999 or A&E because it wasn't an emergency, he definitely didn't need an ambulance, and he was low priority, when they were clearly completely wrong because less than an hour later he's being rushed off to hospital in an ambulance, on a drip, and being admitted to hospital, because he was dehydrated and barely conscious.

The ambulance 111 arranged?

I feel for you Op. My Mum, admittedly much older at 95, fell over at home and banged her head. We were lucky in that my 'Rottweiler' niece got the paras out and mum was taken to hospital and put on a drip. When I saw her the next day, she seemed completely fine. (and complaining about the hospital food).

Unless you've had this experience, it's hard to understand just how fast older people can fail, especially through dehydration and/or low blood pressure.

Fingers crossed that he recovers quickly.