My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

That’s good news. Glad he’s getting his appetite back

I'm really pleased to hear this! I hope he can keep it down.

Will he have ready salted crisps?
Full of salt, carbs etc, gentle on the tummy and quite more-ush when off food.

Call 999 immediately. What do you pay your taxes for? Get an ambulance and get your dad to hospital.

With normal bloods, no temperature and otherwise normal vitals, rehydration and discharge sounds fine. Obviously if it continues, have a low threshold and he should go back before he gets so bad.

I know you’re anxious but he’s been checked over. That said, don’t hesitate to call for help much sooner if he seems like he’s going downhill.

Personally I don’t know how he can stomach a plain one but that's his choice, his stomach does seem to have settled and he had a plain cream cracker before his latest nap which has stayed in! Now it's just keeping him drinking (he says he hates the taste of the rehydration things) and getting food in him - will try him with the crisps

That’s good news. It seems the hospital were right to send him home then

I'm not entirely sure they were, he needs further tests to figure this out and we'd both prefer if his bloods and fluids were still being monitored for his kidneys etc., but we'll have to do the best we can at home.

So glad to hear your updates ! Hope he continues to improve. Not sure how true it is but I think flat coke is supposed to be good for tummy bugs . Think it kills the bugs off !

Yes indeed, but further tests aren’t a&e territory

Doctors told us flat Coke, the paramedics said all of that (flat lemonade, coke etc.) is literally just because it gets liquids in them, and that if you use diet it can actually make it all worse because of the sweeteners

He’s lucky to have somebody like you who can advocate on his behalf. Imagine being old and on your own in the same situation.

That's exactly what I said to my mum when she was nervous to make a complaint at the doctors', for us it was fine but if this was an elderly person living alone they'd be dead by now

My GP always told me to give my kids flat coke not diet, if they had an upset stomach. It works very well.

Have they done any tests for inflammatory bowel disease? This sounds very much like me 13 years ago. GPs initially useless but did eventually step up and get me admitted as an emergency, where I was told I was so severely dehydrated that I was on the verge of multiple organ shutdown, and it turned out to be severe ulcerative colitis.

Look up FODMAP.

@SadGirlAutumn please also continue giving him dioralyte! this will keep up his electrolytes!! he has lost a lot with the d & v!

Orange juice is good for electrolytes

”No temp, no infection markers in his bloods, no blood in his stool, no signs it's anything hernia related, his heart rate is stable, BP stable”

All the above and you say that he’s being “sent home to die” (after his jacket potato).

I’m sorry your Dad is poorly but you are coming across as extremely dramatic.

Normal bloods you say? My nan had normal bloods, she even had CRP less than 10. The only symptom she had was bouts of shaking (rigors), but not all the time, in waves. They released her home. She died of sepsis. Sometimes sepsis in the elderly can present with normal bloods. Don't let him leave the hospital.

HE HAS AN AORTIC ANEURYSM!?

Have you told 111 or 999 this!

He needs an ambulance.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I would agree but he’s now eating a little, which is good. He’s 70, so not that elderly.
I did say have a low threshold for returning.
OP’s dad had normal bloods and normal vital signs - he is highly unlikely to be currently septic. That doesn’t mean it cannot develop but no need to panic right now.

OP this just wouldn’t be the case. My DF died earlier this year due to a bowel obstruction. He was put on end of life care and kept in hospital on a constant flow of palliative medication until he passed away 12 days later. There isn’t a possibility they would send anyone ‘home to die’ at least not without putting them on EOC and assigning them to palliative care.

I hope your DF makes a good recovery.

Can you ring 999 and say its something else tell a white lie and go from there. He needs to go to the hospital. Keep us posted.

^RTFT