My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

It hasn't passed in the previous 10 days, I don’t know how they can sit there and send home a man who can barely walk and basically just say "we hope it goes away", it's such a waste of money because he'll just end up back in the hospital when it doesn't stop! It's so frustrating, they clearly don't care

I don't think he is being sent home to die but I agree it sounds like more than a virus to have gone on for this long. Are they giving him any medication to stop the sickness at least? And what about ongoing rehydration? Is he still unable to keep anything down?

He's been told nothing more to try and stop it, as it needs to "flush out" (as if his system hasn't been doing that for the last 10 days!), rehydration drinks and bland food. A crock of shit if you ask me

really?

I'm flabbergasted.

No temp, no infection markers in his bloods, no blood in his stool, no signs it's anything hernia related, his heart rate is stable, BP stable, so they've just said he has to "flush it out". I'm disgusted. This is a man who paid in all his life and they couldn't care less, they'e just discharged him and shrugged their shoulders

I was afraid you'd have an update like this :(

It's not forgetting or disrespecting

It's railing against the system

The people on the ground may well be doing all they can but the system isn't working

So those symptoms were fine were they?
Perfectly normal

Clearly he was malingering!

To be fair they have stabilised him so you can nurse him at home.
Having just been through this with a 91 year old recently it is hard but was no reason to keep her in hospital.
No dairy was key as a lactose intolerance is quite common after viral stomach upsets and I got her on some really good probiotics, I recommend Body Biotics on Amazon.
Took around 6 weeks to completely settle (as she couldn't resist trying milk in tea periodically)
Just keep checking temperature/BP and pulse to ensure you aren't missing anything else.

Has he had an xray, stool sample and Meds to take home. Was it the gp who referred him for an ultrasound. I'd ask what advice they have if he still doesn't eat or drink enough, what did his abdo xray show and when will they get the stool samples results. If they do think it's viral they may think it will be better to be at home, how often has he had his bowels open in the hospital if you know.

I think @stayathomegardener is onto something with the dairy @SadGirlAutumn
I used to work in a residential care home and dairy was banned for at least a couple of days after anyone had any kind of tummy upset.
If you can keep Dad hydrated ( and thise ORS tablets previously mentioned are good) then hopefully this virus will pass. Hopefully also he'll be more willing to go back to A&E if necessary.
Good luck!

A&E doc said to have dairy!!! Actimel, yoghurts etc., as it's good for his gut? So confused!!

I will research biotics etc. for him now. He's asleep, which is good as he's not losing fluid but bad as he's not taking any on!!

With my dad, the GP thought cancer straight away and he was on the two week pathway. So he had a colonoscopy and they found diverticulitis (which he had always had on and off) and so their investigations stopped there. Even though it didn’t explain his symptoms. He was discharged back to the GP with paracetamol and lactulose. His cancer wasn’t in the colon. But they just (at that point) stopped looking. He had no temperature and no blood markers. But a swollen stomach (which was ascites), his bowel and stomach were full of tumours which meant he was slowly starving. They didn’t do a CT of his stomach for weeks and only after we kicked up a fuss that his ‘diverticulitis’ wasn’t improving so they agreed to treat it with surgery.

My dad said he had diarrhoea, it wasn’t actually diarrhoea but more like mucus and slime. And he was vomiting because nothing was actually reaching his digestive system as the tumours were blocking it.

At one point in A&E they tried a manual evacuation. I was with him and I will never forgive myself for letting that happen but at the time they said it would fix him. There was nothing to evacuate and if they’d scanned him properly they would have known that.

My dad was 75 and hiking and camping at the start of this year, and five weeks ago he died in a hospice, in pain.

Don’t let that happen to your dad. Get second and third opinions.

He had a chest X-Ray (?? not sure why), stool sample sent off and no meds to come home. Their advice is just to keep him drinking

I'm so sorry this happened to your dad :(

Thankfully mine has had a clear endoscopy and colonoscopy lately, and his diarrhoea is 'proper' if that makes sense

Live stuff ok, not milk/cheese/non live yogurt

Thanks!

Going to do some research into it all, research into immune systems etc. to try and keep us all healthy over the winter so I don't bring any bugs home etc.

Hospital is the last place you want him to be if you don't want him catching any bugs. If his obs are stable and his dehydration is resolved, there is nothing else they will do that can't be done at home. Keeping him in hospital will only expose him to more infections.

Actimel Immune Support is a probiotic drink. It will help rebalance his gut. But he really needs to eat. Food takes longer to pass through than just liquids. Avoid high fat, high sugar, or spicy food. Plain potatoes, bread, rice, pasta, eggs, chicken are all bland foods that shouldn't irritate his stomach further (unless he has a wheat intolerance). And plenty of good sleep. These are things you can provide for him at home that he wouldn't get in hospital hospital anyway. Hospital food isn't what he needs right now and good sleep is non-existant.

Yeah, FGS don't give him ordinary milk or yogurt - he'll almost certainly vomit it up again. Lactose is very bad for a poorly digestive system. Actimel is a yogurt drink full of live bacteria. When you suffer from D&V your gut bacteria gets depleted, so the advice to drink Activia is to build up the 'good' bacteria in his gut again. If you want to give him milk (or if he wants milk in something) get some Lacto-free milk (it's readily available in supermarkets as some people can't digest lactose and need to have lacto-free all the time).

My kid had terrible sickness and diarrhoea for weeks, we were so worried until someone (not one of the many GPs we saw 🙄) mentioned secondary lactose intolerance. We found when small amounts like cheese and onion crisps made him sick but he could have milk again after about six weeks (we didn’t try it until then). We found it had to be totally dairy free not just “lacto-free” but it was the problem.

We'll get him some lacto-free milk tomorrow, he's slept for most of the day and not eaten much but hopefully the proper sleep today helps him and he perks up tomorrow!

A couple of years ago I developed breathing problems and 111 said they'd send an ambulance but it wouldn't be priority. About half an hour later a paramedic arrived and arranged a taxi to hospital.
It seems that 111 doesn't Alway know it's ass from it's elbows.

Glad that your dad seems on the way to recovery.

Stuff what treble one says, ring 999 . He will be severely dehydrated, l imagine he isn't passing much urine....With his other symptoms it is an emergency....Sometimes the people answering calls on 111 are reading from a script with the things you tell them....l hope you get sorted and please post an update. Take care

Lots of updates, been in hospital and going home.

He's asked for a jacket potato!!!!

I could cry with relief. Pushed back my flight to the end of the week and I'm going to stay to look after him for a while