My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

I suggest putting a formal complaint in to his GP based on this.

We're definitely going to be complaining to the GP - his consultant, the paramedics and every nurse he's spoken to are disgusted at how they treated him!

My mum didn't get back until late last night, but his heart rate and blood pressure have stabilised, unfortunately he's still in resus as no beds on the ward they want to send him to, but he's feeling a lot better which is the main thing!

Thinking of you and your family this morning @SadGirlAutumn Hoping to much that your dad makes a full recovery. Well done for persisting. And I hope you got some sleep 💐

Thank you 🩷 slept a bit and now just waiting for some updates, he's only eating biscuits atm 😅so think he'll be in overnight again today

Well any faith I had in the NHS has been well and truly destroyed.

They can't find a bed for him on a ward, so they're sending him home. They can't see a reason for the diarrhea so the advise is just to keep him on a bland diet, get Actimel in him and wait for it to pass. They've said if we don't come and pick him up, they'll be sending him home in patient transport as he doesn't need to be in A&E any longer.

So in two or three days I imagine we'll be calling out another ambulance for him

Does he have any appointments booked for further investigation?

Nope!

Discharged into the GP's care, they will manage the results of the samples they took this morning. I'm utterly disgusted

Hopefully now he's rehydrated and can eat a little, he'll be on the up. Things do look much brighter now that's been sorted out.
How old is your dad? Sorry if I've missed it. Guessing 60ish?

He's 70.

I just don't see how it went from them saying last night "we will keep you in until we've found a cause" has turned into "you've had a yoghurt and pooped it out 15 minutes later, bye".

I'm fuming, but they've said they absolutely will not keep him in. So in 2-3 days time I imagine he'll be right back there as his stomach isn't showing any signs of settling down!

I just don't see how it went from them saying last night "we will keep you in until we've found a cause" has turned into "you've had a yoghurt and pooped it out 15 minutes later, bye".

Shift change and different doctors making a decision. I’m sorry.

Sounds like it's Sunday doctors kicking him out. I'm fuming, I'm going to look into private GPs and see if one of those can't come out to him

There’s every chance there is a benign reason for this, particularly with a history of campylobacter which could mean your dad’s digestive system is more sensitive to subsequent bugs. Plus the suspected hernia.

however, I can think of at least three people I know who had ongoing d&v and dramatic weight loss and it wasn’t for benign reasons so you are right to keep on at this until your dad has a definitive diagnosis to put all your minds at rest.

He had a clear colonoscopy about a year ago, and one of those standard poo tests about 6 ish weeks ago which was also clear, they're not concerned about it being his hernia or anything like that, they also seem convinced his lump is a hernia.

Just seriously frustrating that they can't be bothered to get to the root of it and figure it out now, and instead he'll probably end up back in hospital in a few days

I am really surprised they are sending him home. You may just need to go back in again if no improvement. I remember mum in law got sent home initially this year with acute d&v. Then had to be readmitted. Turned out she had a bowel blockage so was all sorted out in the end but it does seem they are quick to send home at first. You will have to really persist with this I'm afraid.

I'm disappointed but not surprised. They want a quiet Sunday.

I’m sorry your poor Dad is having such a miserable time. I hope he continues improve now he’s been rehydrated . But it’s unfair to say they want a quiet Sunday. If your Dad couldn’t proceed further than A&E because there were no vacant ward beds then that situation is far from quiet. It sounds gridlocked and the staff will be stretched to the limits.

Then he should've been kept there, he can barely walk? Discharging him is essentially sending him home to die at this point

I'm so sorry to hear your whole family has gone through this terrible stressful situation OP, just reading about it now! Be sure to have some rehydration tablets at home for your dad in case he starts getting dehydrated, or probably more correctly, to prevent him becoming dehydrated again. I used ORS hydration tablets - just add to water and drink once dissolved, you can get them on Amazon and from Boots. I had bad diarrhoea last November into December and the weight just dropped off me, so I do sympathise. Not keeping food down or having diarrhoea means you aren't getting enough nutrients, it's a serious matter. I do hope he recovers soon.

He's on the liquid IV, he's practically drank a bottle in about 15 minutes! Can see him ending up back in hospital at this rate

I understand you’re upset and worried about your Dad. But you have to consider the bigger picture. Your Dad sounded worryingly ill last night from dehydration. He’s been rehydrated with iv fluids in A&E and preliminary investigations carried out. Any further investigations into the root cause aren’t going to be done in A&E. If we rewind to yesterday and another patient in the same predicament as your Dad was kept in a bed in A&E after being stabilised then there might have been no bed available for your dad. He might still be lying in an ambulance outside A&E waiting for admission. Sadly it’s the way things are and the staff aren’t to blame. They are working in intolerable circumstances. It’s an all round hellish situation that desperately needs fixed.

The hospital have said to expect 7-10 days more of this! He's been sent home to die, and it's breaking my heart

I think you're being a bit dramatic OP, although I appreciate it's difficult to be reasonable when you are worried sick about someone you love.
If he was at serious risk they would have kept him in.

They wouldn't have though, they've done NOTHING to stop him using the toilet and the doctor last night said he'd be kept in until they figured out what was causing it

No, you can't think like that OP! If a virus is causing the illness then it will hopefully pass. Please don't start believing this is 'the end'.

You can ask to speak to the nurse in charge and say you're worried that he won't manage at home and were told he would be kept in for further tests, ask why this has changed and what medication he is going to be on.