In love with a streamer

[Buttercupflying]

Hi everyone im Falling for a bigo host ive been gifting and chatting 2 this person offline not just bigo and we chat 4 long hours on insta but im Starting to catch feelings we have a bit of flirt time also but nothing to deep the flirt bit happeend once out of no where. Does he like me or because i gift? Also watched a movie via because i was higher gifter but he hinted for me to get higher to win. He started the flirt bit not me we chat for ages on call one on one please am i being silly here

Op their literal job is taking viewers money. You've just got out of an abusive relationship so for your child's sake I'd come off chatting to blokes online and sending money and work on yourself and why you need a man straight after your last relationship.

Well done @Buttercupflying for getting out of the abusive relationship. You are awesome! That was a genuinely wonderful thing to do for you and your son.

It can be a confusing time afterwards, where you are feeling vulnerable and lonely, and it’s completely understandable that you could get sucked into this kind of thing, that feels like a “relationship” but isn’t really. You probably feel like it’s a bit safer, because you feel more in control of it? Unfortunately it’s not real.

Take some time to heal from the abusive relationship, and do The Freedom Program, which will help you to understand your own worth, and to spot red flags.

You are a strong, worthwhile, capable woman and you’ve got this! Look how strong you have already been. You don’t need to spend your hard earned money on a fake boyfriend.

OP I’ve just had a conversation with teen DD about this as I’m not terribly up to speed with the streaming community, she’s much more tech savvy. She said he’s absolutely just after your money, it’s their job and these people are essentially ‘actors’. She said a lot of people get a real buzz from feeling they have a connection with streamers and having their name put up on a ‘live’ is a big deal for them. But it’s not real.

One of the things she said is a lot of ‘real’ celebrities stream sometimes, Taylor Swift she mentioned, but when Taylor Swift streams, she says repeatedly not to gift her. DD watches a few streamers, but thinks of it as watching a TikTok video, it’s entertainment, not a replacement for real connections with real people. Some of them are also well known for being quite unpleasant in real life with big, unsubstantiated egos. I’m not convinced this is a healthy environment for you at the moment as you’re in quite a low place. What would you say if your son was watching streamers and asked for some money to gift one?

edwinbear thank you so much yes it's like tiktok he also on that 2 but i don't use that ive been good tonight and didn't join the live 💜

Don't even think he noticed i wasn't even there watching somes it up really

HE'S NOT LOVELY. He's a scammer. He doesn't give a shiny shite about you. Honestly - read a book. Go outside. Join a club, do some volunteering. Stop giving money to strangers on the internet.

I'm so old that I have no idea what you've said in your post OP. Good luck with whatever it is though.

I don't understand why he chats about his life and past etc deeply privetlly on the phone etc part of me well a big part of me is on the side of its just for money 40%% thinks is he genuine i don't have his phone number but his agency and other hosts have it there in WhatsApp groups with him

He does it because it makes people like you think he's interested in them and give him their money.

Because he wants your money. If this was a genuine thing where he liked you then why would he take your cash instead of chatting to you for free and telling you not pay him for his company.

Even if by some miracle he liked you and you got into a relationship then would do you think would happen? He isn’t going to give up this very easy income stream and you would always be insecure about who he was talking too and what he was saying to them.

@Buttercupflying Please. This guy chats people up and shares his life for cash, which I think is a pretty pathetic way of earning a living but I know he's far from alone. He didn't notice you weren't on his live last night. I guarantee if you stop sending money, he will not interact with you, unless he's trying to draw you back in so you send more. You aren't going to get any different opinions or advice than those you've had and everyone is saying the same thing.

Spend your money on yourself and your son and find other ways of making proper friends.

Yes like the highest gifter gets a day out with him etc he's started doing but i think if it was genuine you wouldn't need to win anything to gain a day out etc. There's nothin in it with me and him anyway really just that one night he got bit flirty and we exchanged pics but i just need to get him out my head now

because he's so nice he said he'd play like interaction games with my son because he use to be a gamer

You’d be happy to expose your child to this man you don’t know, have never met and who can say he used to be the King of Fairyland if the wants ????

You sound very naive sending money to a man for… well nothing really. But involving your child is just plain stupidity. It gives this man more leaverage on you, if he has photos of your child you’ve no idea how he’ll use them. Please get a reality check and ask yourself why you’re doing this.

No he didn't want pics of my son just 2 shop him gaming as he was a gamer

You aren’t in a relationship with this guy. He has no interest in you other than scamming cash out of you. Sorry to be blunt. Please chalk it up to experience and move on.

He's making stuff up to keep you engaged and keep giving him money.

Please lovely, pull back from this, he’s exploiting you and selling the illusion of intimacy. It’s really quite cruel. Put the money you’d give him into something for you and your kid- a savings account for a holiday/ days out/ something for your home. Invest in yourself not in this stranger.

I feel so angry with myself doing that flirt stuff with him i feel like i let myself down 4 him 2 now think im something im not when i fort it was genuine but obviously just bit of fun 4 him at 2am in the morning.

@Buttercupflying straight question which you don't of course have to answer, but were the photos you keep referring to exchanging intimate/sexual?

If so, not a great idea but mark it down to experience and just move on.

Yeah that's frustrating. But there's a saying of never throw good money after bad. You know you made the mistake so don't keep doing it, hoping it'll fix things. And you also now know, let's be honest, that he's not genuine so don't keep giving him money either.

Ps: if a guy is talking to you at 2 in the morning, chances are that a bit of fun is all he is looking for.

Pps: if you're newly out of an abusive relationship, you'd be wise to stick to that too. Right now you're seeking validation that you are attractive, worthwhile and loveable. Because your ex took that from you. But, you find that through self work, not through another man.

Spend the next 18 months or so reading up on how to spot abuse (as it's common to roll from one abusive relationship into another). Try avoid men currently. You're vulnerable atm. And it actually could have been a lot worse for you than this guy.

It started as he asked for pics as i only had like my face pics up he wanted full body so just sent normal ones of me in clothes etc then he complimented the pics and i had skirt on he said wow more more i stupidly didn't wanna like say no because i like him but sent few then bit more revealing he didn't show as much as me he wanted more from me than he gave back if that makes sence. And yeah i need to focus on me and my son i Just felt like he was so nice he's like your perfect guy everything u want in a guy but that could be online acting

He wanted a video of me doing stuff etc but i said my video didn't work only pics. I felt embarrassed then next morning but he didn't even mention it just went back to normal chatting

I thought bigo was a typo for bingo at first but yes, his job seems to come down to charming vulnerable women into giving him money.

Things sound really tough for you OP, I’m sorry. Congratulations on getting yourself and your son out.

The Freedom Programme sounds like a really good idea. It would also help you to avoid getting sucked into any new abusive relationships.

Edited to add that if he was pressuring you for sexy pics & videos, he’s clearly a creepy, manipulative bastard. You have no idea whether he was planning to share them / sell them on. Delete and block.

He sounds creepy op, not nice.

He knows he has subscribers that are a bit smitten with him and he takes advantage by asking for seual videos?! Yuck. Yuck Yuck Yuck.

Just because people say nice things, does not make them nice people. You have to look at their actions too.

Yea it was wierd nothing was said then the next days just went bk to normal bigo chat. He doesn't know how i feel so i suppose its not really him doing much but me probably thinking to much in to it but the private chats etc the way hes so caring and ones across so decent like any woman's dream man in all aspects like the perfect partner ive just got myself in to a obsession i think now i need ti stop before i say anything because ive started feeling a bit offish when he's live like he has a 2 way chat on bigo with other hosts and i see him charming them to it got to the point i don't wanna be nasty and would rather just walk away from there whole thing