In love with a streamer

[Buttercupflying]

Hi everyone im Falling for a bigo host ive been gifting and chatting 2 this person offline not just bigo and we chat 4 long hours on insta but im Starting to catch feelings we have a bit of flirt time also but nothing to deep the flirt bit happeend once out of no where. Does he like me or because i gift? Also watched a movie via because i was higher gifter but he hinted for me to get higher to win. He started the flirt bit not me we chat for ages on call one on one please am i being silly here

I'm sorry. He's not a nice guy @Buttercupflying , he's an abusive, using creep. Please try to put this behind you and move on.

The thing is, anyone can say nice things. Bad people say nice things to charm others too.

The thing is, there are things that decent people never do. Like trying to use your affection for your son to con you into giving them more money. Like using a position of arguable power over someone vulnerable to ask for sexual photos. Like making you feel like shit and having no intention or desire to fix it.

He went 'back to normal' after asking you for videos because he forgot who you were. It's as simple as that. He asks LOTS of women for videos if they seem keen, and he can't remember from one day to the next what he's said to whom. They deal in quantity, not quality, because the more people they chat to and 'befriend' the more money they make.
Sadly you aren't as special to him as he is to you, and that's no way to be in a relationship ever.

Your desperation to believe he feels something for you is palpable and it's so sad to read.

You don't need to feel stupid though, you really don't. And if the fear that that's what falling for his bullshit makes you is what's keeping you searching for a tiny bit of hope that he likes you then let it go. It's ok.

These people are good at what they do. Of course they are otherwise they wouldn't convince people to give them money. This man like all these scammers is well practiced at creating a fake rapport. Making you feel like you're different from everyone else and that he's scamming them but really likes you, just you, is their scam.

He's a piece of shit for exploiting the needs and desires of vulnerable people and it reflects badly on him, not you.

I hope the photos weren't too revealing, or he might use them as blackmail when you stop giving him money.

Not really just one u couldn't see me properly just one certain area the other upper half i made sure i cropped my face out. I just feel a bit angry not sure y i think because i praised him so much to the stream as being so genuine and nice i feel bit stupid on how nieve ive been

It’s not stupid to fall for something when someone has deliberately set out to manipulate your feelings.

We all fall for that stuff, all the time, why do you think companies spend millions of pounds advertising their products and persuading us to buy them? Because they know we will fall for it more often than not.

Ok, not all of us would go so far as to send money to a stranger whose history we can’t verify, but the vast majority of us are happy to spend money on products when we are told they are better, improved, greener for the environment etc etc, even though we can’t verify those statements either . There’s really not that much difference - though your guy clearly recognised your vulnerability and was targeting you personally, which makes him scum.

Yes that's the bit that's made me quite angry because i felt like if he liked me she wouldn't of acted like that. He also said few weeks back that he respects me and that i would never say get your txxs out etc but then did that few days ago

He probably can’t remember what he said to who. He is chatting to lots of women , trying to make them all feel special so as to get money out of them. Pull away from his clutches. And think about why he has managed to charm you so much, learn to protect yourself better. There is a hell of a lot of abusers and exploiters online.

Just stop buttercupflying. This individual is using you, and loves your money. Do not send any more photos.

This has alarms bells all over- you are being scammed.

Keep this person away from your so via ANY means.

Do not send photos of yourself, the next step he will likely blackmail you threatening to send them to your entire friends list on Facebook/insta etc.

This person has no interest in you only your money- remember that.

Also worryingly you state you budget to pay him. Stop that now. I have no idea where you found this scammer but he’s seen you coming. He does not want a relationship with you. Save your money and spend it on something worthwhile like yourself or your child perhaps.

Omg I misread and thought it was a BINGO host. Very different image in my head!

Hope you're ok, OP. He sounds like a total user..I'm sorry 😔

Please stop sending him money and pics. He is stringing you along and scamming you. He is taking advantage of your vulnerability OP. Do have friends and family around you?

Yes i have friends and family but bit embarrassed to tell them as it sounds so silly but ive done well so far in no contact he has messaged today but not read it

Good lord.

This is insane.

Delete the app and stop being silly.

You aren't getting to know him at all. He's taking your money and stringing you along.
This is not a friendship or relationship.

Run for the hills and spend the money on yourself and your child.

Good for you. Do block him though, then you don’t have to worry about not reading.

I looked into what hs going on here because this is completely new to me and I have to say I'm really shocked and disappointed by bingo!

They get people to stream and try to persuade their viewers to send gifts. The streamer only gets 25% of tge value if the gift so you are putting 75% of your money into a scam company's hands.

It sounds to me like as you are coming out of an abusive relationship you saw this as a confidence boost but it's just another person trying to abuse you for your money. Please close your account on bingo and see if you can find something better to build yourself up also have upu heard of the Freedom program?

See what happens when you stop gifting...

If he's genuine and you have made a connection then he will continue your chatting when you stop gifting him. Please be careful, there a lot of smoothies out there who know how to play the game and this isn't any disrespect to you at all. It's just what they do, they are pros, as you said a long chat then nothing, possibly having the same long chat with another admirer who has sent a big gift. Xx

Thanks for explaining @Flatspat - so the company running the site gets 75% of the gift money and the streamer gets 25%? It’s like prostitution where the brothel owner/ pimp gets 75%!

OP hang in there and yes, delete the app completely so you won’t be tempted. Walk away. Invest that money in a savings account and plan how you are going to spend it in yourself and your kid. We all want to be admired and loved, but this isn’t it.

If a male friend of yours was paying a woman for online content, or regularly giving her money in a lap dancing club, and she said she was falling for him, I’m pretty sure you’d tell that friend it was a scam and to forget her. I’m sorry but I don’t see how your situation is any different.

I don't know if you are ND or have other learning disabilities but I'd really step away from one on one conversations on the Internet for your own well being, and definitely don't send photos to anyone for a while. I wish you well, do step back from this. You need to be happy in yourself first.

I'm so glad it isn't just me ....

Worth noting that men who say things like:

'I would never:
*Ask you to get your tits out
*hit a woman

• cheat on someone Etc....

Are actually telling you what they WILL do.

Because decent people don't feel the need to say they would never do obviously shitty/creepy things. These things just don't cross their mind in the first place.

It's basically the same as men saying 'I'm a nice guy'. If they need to say it, its usually because it's not true.

I have literally no idea what this post is about.