Apart from a bereavement- what has been the greatest sorrow of your life?

[Insywinsy2]

I know pretty morbid but I have been reflecting on life recently now that I’m getting closer to 40.
I have experienced loss with close family passing away but the greatest sorrow in my life is only having my children 50/50 since their dad left a few years ago. It still fills me with such grief knowing that, although I do agree it is best for them to spend time with us both.

The loss of contact with my two children due to an extreme case of coercive control and parental alienation. It's been a five year 'living' bereavement.

Exactly this for me too with older ds. I actually have him about 60% but it’s so hard. I thought it’d get easier but he’s 12 and still find it hard.

grief my dad dying in his 40s and my aunty committing suicide in her 40s. But for me personally therapy due to childhood trauma, sexual assault,

Oh bless you. Sending you massive hugs as well 🌺🌺

It's just not fair :(

I’m so so sorry. That sounds horrifically hard. I desperately hope your DC will see through him eventually and you’ll reconnect.

@AncientHistory sadly your situation sounds similar to mine

I am the only person who enjoys 50/50? Now I feel like a bad mother!

When my beautiful DS2 was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old. It was awful and I tried so hard to be happy with it. I threw myself into interventions and completely focussed on my DSes. My (now ex) H couldn't come to terms with how our bright future had changed and escaped to an OW a few years later. Which was also crushing, but not as bad as DS's diagnosis had been.

yes this. The future looks pretty bleak being the carer of someone who, even when they are "doing well" could have a crisis again when they, yet again, come off their meds.

Being diagnosed with the same spinal problem that father had, two years after his death, when I was relatively still young at 33. It has ruined my life. Nearly 20 years later I am still upset, at the losses it has brought me. All the things I can't do. It's miserable and I sometimes want to just run away and be completely alone so that I can be away from everyone else.

A mixture of sorrow and anger with ex

Watching my bright and vibrant 22 yr old son bullied mercilessly by several masters at his public (private) school for having ADHD and being a bit harder to teach than others. Resulting in his complete loss of confidence, MH issues and then severe drug addiction whilst at Uni. I will never forget having to go to "rescue" him from Uni, the absolute state of his room, like something off those hoarder programs, covered in maggots and flies and my god the stench. 😢 He's been isolated and withdrawn ever since. Im crying for him right now as i type.

And worse, its no fun being friends with me anymore - i have too much sadness in me and slowly my girlfriends have retreated.

I cannot imagine how you feel. Sending my thoughts to you and your beautiful DD

It might just be me, but your response to PPs 'sorrow' feels slightly callous and unfeeling on a thread which, presumably, was meant to be a 'safe space' for people to air their sadness and receive support.

PPs greatest sorrow was losing a friend after the mass murder of innocents and their support for Israel. Political views never needed to form part of your (or anyones) response.

You could and 100% should have left it at 'that's really sad' - which is what nearly every other poster has done who has noted the very sad post. Perhaps with the benefit of hindsight you would have but either way...it just feels quite sad someone lay themselves bare like that and your response was so unfeeling.

Even now you have no answers?

Not really the place for this, pretty insensitive

Being adopted.

Why? The feeling that I'm a bad mother because of it is relevant to the thread?

That my children don't have a relationship with their cousins. Before my first child was born, my SIL informed me that for numerous reasons she was going NC with me. It was 11 years ago and has destroyed my relationship with my brother and means I don't know my nephews. I had so many visions of holidays, celebrations, camping together and really feeling part of an extended family. It makes me so sad to think of all those times lost as well as the grandparents never seeing their grandchildren together.

Bereavement was the worst - losing my husband. Next to that was the menopause bringing the realisation that I was permanently childless.

I remember trying to find solace online and coming across this advice on a web page advising how to cope with the idea of menopause: "Take comfort in your children."
C**t.

Choosing an abusive bastard for the father of my child.

Yes, she will never leave him and I would never have asked her to, I just wanted a relationship with her which didn't include him and for her to accept what he did but she chose to defend him instead. She's miserable too by all accounts which really only makes it worse, she's let him destroy our relationship rather than admit what he did and acknowledge the effect it had on me, too much guilt for her to face I think.

The out of the blue loss of my only child to suicide has pretty much destroyed my life.

Years later and my black humour (survival mechanism?) whispers to me that this will take some beating!

My life is now divided into a before and after. A once happy, carefree me to now a bitter, resentful old husk. I wish I had died with her.

Losing a best friendship is sad of course but I can’t and won’t be silent about a genocide. It’s not a political stance I’m taking but a moral and humanitarian one. In fact one of the greatest sorrows I’m experiencing right now is witnessing what is happening in Gaza and the amount of children being murdered

That I will never know what it is like to have full hearing. Being deaf can be very limiting.