Apart from a bereavement- what has been the greatest sorrow of your life?

[Insywinsy2]

I know pretty morbid but I have been reflecting on life recently now that I’m getting closer to 40.
I have experienced loss with close family passing away but the greatest sorrow in my life is only having my children 50/50 since their dad left a few years ago. It still fills me with such grief knowing that, although I do agree it is best for them to spend time with us both.

Marrying a man who was very selfish and only interested in himself and his hobbies. We had two DC and he did little with them, didn't even want the second one. I sadly ensured 31 years of his awful behaviour as I didn't have the support, the resources or the courage to leave. I finally left in 2021 and he died from cancer earlier this year, not even 60 years old. The icing on the cake was having so many people at his funeral say what a wonderful man he was, lovely family man etc, and knowing he out in a persona for everyone else and saved his nastiness for me and the DC.

Yes, me too. My DD is schizophrenic and has always been difficult since her early teens (she's nearly 50 now). She's been sectioned a few times too. I remember the dread and fear when she was a teenager and obviously heading for another episode. I feel so sad that she has had such a limited life - when your first child is born you have such hopes for them and want them to have a happy life.

I have been through lots of trauma... caring for and losing my Mum as a teenager, two years later being raped by a much older man, terrible long-term bullying by those who are supposed to be close family.
However, another event in my life that took a long time to get over was not making the entry grades for medicine, when it had been all I had ever worked for. Tried an alternative route, was 2% off the entry grades and again was turned down. That turned my world upside down and it full-on felt like I had to grieve for something that I had lost.

Thankfully in a career I'm happy with now.

I lost my daughter in an horrific accident but I can't imagine how it feels to have lost someone at the hands of another person 💔 I really do feel for you.

One of my daughters is infertile, single and has adopted two children. She fostered first, and still does this too.

That's high on my list too.

Having a disabled child with no close family and the worry of what will happen to them after I am dead, its my biggest fear and how they will cope alone 😢

My DH having an affair, the hurt and the impact on the family felt like a bereavement. It’s like someone you never really knew…..

My health.
Becoming disabled, at some point fully housebound, is something I’m still grieving.
The loss from knowing I’m never going to get better. I’m much more likely to get worse as I’m getting older. From being unable to do most of the things that gave me joy. That gave meaning to my life. The loss of what my dcs childhood should have been. Of having no real memories of their childhood, bar struggle and suffering (mine!).

Yep being chronically ill with little quality of life is shit. And something you grieve everyday. Until what it means to be ‘normal’ and healthy becomes a more and more distant memory.

This is shocking. I’m sorry. What happened?

Same as you OP, from a divorce I didn't choose.

The addiction / mental health 'curse' my family carries, is up there too.

Sending love to all 💜

I had a termination 7 years ago. It changed me forever.

You've told someone they 'should' be silent about a genocide, and put it in italics. WTF? Losing a friend is sad, but compared to the sorrow and despair the people of Gaza must feel. I don't understand how this mindset works...

At this rate, the greatest sorrow of the OPs life will be starting this thread! 🙈

The parental alienation leading to the end of my relationship with my two eldest children has been devastating.

My best friend of 43 yrs breaking up with me after deciding she no longer liked my company.
Also, my only sister living on the other side of the world for many years.

My thoughts exactly.

Having alcoholism, profound mental health issues, and being identified as a cunt by everyone I know. Can't cope much longer. Just want to sleep for a long time. I'm so fucking ashamed.

Having an affair. My dh wasn’t perfect but he was a good conscientious man-but I was lonely in our marriage and had an affair. I ended it but I was so sad, I broke up my marriage and he became a weekend dad. I am now very happily married to someone who thinks I’m great (and he knows everything)but I deeply regret that I did that and ripped our family apart. He is now remarried to someone far more suitable but the pain of regret and wishing I had done something different is physical. I always thought of myself as having morals yet fell short. My exh doesn’t know and I will never tell him.

I have known some people who have lived through the most horrendous loss (ie losing a child) and they have managed to carry on and it blows my mind how strong they’ve been.
I’ve never met ‘the love of my life’ or anything close. That makes me sad.
Both our families are very hands off so my only child has no siblings or cousins and I constantly feel I’m filling those holes for her and I’m not particularly young and it’s hard. I’ve had to look after someone with severe mental illness and lost a very close relative at a key age which has left and impact but ultimately I know so many horrendous situations others have lived through I feel I can’t really complain too much.

That I let my DD get too close to my narcissistic family, particularly my sister. Like me she is still suffering the consequences. After MY childhood, I should have known better.

It is absolutely wretched. I am so sorry.

It's not a competition and I am very sorry for your loss 💐

Thank you blackpear and birthday rainbow.