Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

Yes it still happens in my area by one particular school , one particular reception teacher would almost do a survey on the house , the decor , the biscuits , how clean it was , if only those parents heard what she told us in the staff room , she had favourites too usually the wealthy parent with an expensive home !!

We had this for 17 year old dd. They visited the whole class. The Reception kids didn't start full time until 2 weeks into term, so they did it during this time. They hadn't started it yet for 20 year old dd. Her year went 2 hours a day for the first month. Normal state school

Our state primary is excellent in all regards and all 4 of my DC were visited by the Reception teacher at preschool in the summer term and at home just before starting school, Even the TA visited with the teacher so teacher can talk to parent about as much as you want to share and TA to DC/play with them/ask them to show favourite toy/what they like doing best.
School and home/parents is a partnership - the more info you both have and understanding the better. If there is a trust between everyone and a partnership often DC is happier at school.
Kids who really love school tend to do well. I think how they feel about school and their teachers is really important. Mine all loved their early years teachers. They still talk about their early memories at school years later.

My youngest daughter had this around 1992 and told off the teacher for eating with her mouth open ( tea and biscuits ) ! Her first report said she was ‘ strongly opinionated ‘ she was the only one of three .

Of course they don’t have a legal right to enter, but they do have safeguarding obligations so if they’re unsure if they’re not being allowed access for a concerning reason of course they need to take that further. It would then be incredibly foolish to not engage with social services or even an officer without a warrant - all because you’re worried they’ll judge your hoovering. It just ends in a huge waste of resources that could’ve been avoided when ultimately all they’re doing is trying to ensure all children are safe at home and don’t require additional support.

Ours offered it. I said no because I'm a teacher, my husband works full time. If they'd have come over, they'd have ended up being the only ones in the house. Our school has done it for years- it's quite an old-fashioned thing. They also do nursery visits and make some notes on the kids- that was fine except my very confident child decided he didn't fancy talking to her so got a note as being shy. Little did she know....

I think with the amount of unseen/reported child abuse that happens, home visits are completely necessary. We certainly did them. Just like ofsted - we all need to be accountable and things can be picked up on during a visit that may be easily hidden otherwise. Maybe reflect on why you found it so difficult and intrusive

The point is that SS and the police have no authority in this situation and no warrant would be issued because simply refusing your kids’ reception teacher (or anyone else) a home visit is not, by itself, a reason to be concerned.

It doesn’t matter whether you don’t like people judging your hoovering, you’re too busy at work to take the day off, you just don’t like teachers for some bizarre reason, or the timing clashes with your favourite TV show. Of course you don’t have to agree to people inviting themselves into your home if you don’t want to.

The use of SS as a threat to try and make people comply (which is what your reasoning amounts to) would be the waste of resources here, though I suspect most SS departments would not be letting themselves be abused in this way and the most they would do would be to phone.

I wasn’t the one saying it would automatically trigger a SS referral - I don’t think it would, but I do think if they already had concerns the in some circumstances it may be the thing that does trigger a referral if they’re genuinely concerned under their safeguarding obligations. In reality, nobody commenting on this thread is really going to require this sort of visit to ensure their children are safe - the concerns are superficial rather than sinister (ie worrying about being judged not that they’ll be caught out) but as we know there are plenty of children who may well have been saved had there been more proactive safeguarding happening. Ultimately they can’t tell from your admissions form who might need support and who doesn’t - I’d rather give up a morning of work and let them come, meet my child and get to know one another than risk another child falling through the gaps. And of course, even without safeguarding I do t think it’s a bad thing for parents to have the opportunity to discuss concerns in private and for the kids to feel more comfortable at home when meeting their teacher.

My kids had this for Reception.

I think it's mainly a chance to meet child in a more relaxed environment. And for parents to raise concerns in a private place.

For popular schools there will be double checking kids do live the address claimed. Haven't used grandparent address or any other incorrect address...

Finally there will be a check if children are vulnerable at the start or in unsafe circumstances.

As other posters have said these visits are just an opportunity for a quick private chat with your childs new teacher and to check any potential issues (parents live where they say they live etc). We declined ours as we had had so many meetings with nursery and school prior to DS starting (S&L issues) so we took advantage of delay to start of school to go on holiday to Spain!

Also teachers have time to do them because they are done in the first week of school before reception starts.

On what grounds would saying no to an optional home visit meet the threshold for a SS safeguarding visit?

I can't see how it is legally justifiable.

You are scaremongering here IMO - do you have anything from a reputable source in writing explaining the process you seem to think would be followed?

Of course schools can involve SS - but they have to be able to say what they think IS happening that puts a child at risk.

Remember how everyone was in uproar that if your kids weren't vaccinated against COVID, the School or SS could do it without your consent or take them into care without you knowing where they were? Sorry, what? Where have you read this?

The thread of posts you were responding to was about the scenario where SS would apparently visit just because a parent turned down down the school’s request.

A scenario in which there are also other concerns is an entirely different situation. Though, even then, what sorts of concerns for an incoming reception child shouldn’t trigger a referral until a parent declines to take up the offer of a home visit?

I’m also curious how you think parents who aren’t neglecting/abusing their children giving up a morning for a home visit from their child’s teacher stops other children from falling through the cracks?

How are the school supposed to know from the forms which kids need them and which don’t? Easier to just have a blanket policy for everyone than try to tiptoe around figuring it out - and if everyone agreed to them then the ones that didn’t would stand out.

As for other concerns, anyone who works in safeguarding would tell you it’s about building a picture. Refusing on its own, not a big deal, other little things that may happen at school may also on their own not necessarily warrant a referral, but put together as a whole can paint a different picture.

Ultimately as far as I’m concerned better safe than sorry as far as the welfare of children is concerned. It’s really not that much of an inconvenience in the grand scheme of things - just another thing for people to complain about.

Schools aren’t supposed to know from forms which kids might be unsafe at home. That’s why it would be inappropriate to make a SS referral simply because somebody has declined a home visit.

The purpose of these home visits isn’t to find out if kids are safe at home, if it was it wouldn’t be left until they were approaching five and the job given to teachers preparing for a new reception class.

I know safeguarding is about building a picture. That’s why I’m asking what that picture would look like in the scenario you’re describing.

What sorts of incidents would a school have seen for a child about to enter reception that did not trigger a SS referral until the parent refused a home visit?

You suggested this was a possibility in response to claims that a referral would not be made on the basis of turning down an home visit on its own. I’m trying to workout whether you’ve brought up a far flung outlier that’s not really relevant, or whether schools have a lot of pre-Reception contact I’ve never considered and I should adjust my understanding.

Possibly a better parameter would be things that happen subsequently rather than prior to reception, which I appreciate would be difficult given they’ve not started school yet! I think the point I’m trying (badly!) to make is that things may well happen which when the refusal to have a visit is factored in creates an obligation to refer.

I wasn’t actually the poster who said it automatically led to a referral, I was just responding to your comment about how you could legally refuse social services and a police officer in the event a referral was made.

Whilst legally you may have that right, it’s massively disproportionate when all they want to do is ensure every child starts school as confident and comfortable as possible and in their experience a home visit is often the best way to do that. The safeguarding is an added reason I think that we’ve got sidetracked on! But if my child’s reception teacher tells me that in her experience (which will be more than mine!) children settle better if they’ve had a home settle then she can absolutely crack on. If I said no, a social services referral was made and I subsequently refused them access, and refused the police access per your advice I’d absolutely expect that to be raising red flags given how inconsequential the initial request was in the first place.

I wasn’t the one who said it would automatically create a referral. I was just disputing the logic of refusing to engage with social services and police should a referral be made.

You can engage with SS and the police without inviting them into your home.

I declined the visit. Absolutely unheard of where I’m from. My ds was fine and no one batted an eyelid or was bothered. I don’t have issues with saying no to people generally, though. 🙈😆 He’s just started senior school and it appears he has no lasting effects from missing out on showing his teacher his extensive Disney cars collection. 😂

😂😂I need more confidence

I think the main issue here is keeping school and home as two separate entities - a bit like how we as adults keep our personal lives out of our work lives. Plus, the teachers will be seeing your child 5 days a week so if any red flags show up then it’ll most likely show up at school in my opinion…

I agree. I feel that England appear to have accepted a higher level of overreach of schools than many other countries. These home visits are unheard of in my country and children settle into school fine. And we don't have higher rates of children living in unsafe situations going undetected due to a lack of these visits.

I've also seen a couple of threads talking about schools 'not allowing' children to walk home from school alone. Madness, that's a parental decision in my country, not a school's call.

Children don’t have a ‘work life’, though. They just have a life. And because they’re vulnerable, home visits are a good way for someone from outside the household to see them in their home settings.

Is there any evidence that the home visits help out vulnerable children? I'd suspect most teachers get a better understanding of a child's home life over the course of a school term than from one visit. And is there any evidence that meeting a teacher at home provides more support to settling into school than meeting the teacher in a one-on-one visit in the new classroom which is pretty standard elsewhere?