Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

Just to look at it from the other side my sister used to do these visit, in one family home the child due to start school was sitting on the floor eating crisps out of a dog bowl with only her mouth, Mum said oh ignore her she is eating her breakfast. That is why some schools do home visits, its also useful to see if a child is going to turn up in nappies on the first day.

Yes I agree with this , my child was very relaxed and chatty and super comfortable, but I was a sweaty mess on the sofa 😂😂

It’s fairly standard in a lot of schools.

I had to do home visits years ago when I taught nursery. You could tell the parents felt a bit on edge about it as did I a little the first time. However, it proved invaluable in terms of forming relationships. In those early days when they're transitioning it's lovely to have a point of reference, to know their interests or remember the name of their pet or special Teddy bear that they showed you. Nobody's home or way of life was on trial and no one was judged for not participating. I just made an effort to connect with with those families at pick ups or drop offs instead.

We had home visits for all my children (aged 8-17) for reception.

Sometimes they need to check you're actually living where you say you are (my kids school had very high demand and people did try and trick the system)

Yes I totally understand this. For safeguarding reasons these visits can be life saving

And was 40 years ago when I started teaching. Not universal though.

As you said in your first post, the purpose is to see your child in an environment that is familiar to them. You said your child was pleased to see them and enthusiastic - so it served its purpose. Your child has happy memories of meeting their teacher and TA that will serve them positively when they start school.

They are not trying to assess your child; it's to help them settle in.

It's also to give you the chance to raise things that you might want to talk about in person, in private.

Now that you’ve mentioned this, I can see how vital these visits are. I guess it’s more of a personal thing of wanting to keep my private space…private 🤔

Yes very true. I think there needs to be a healthy balance though. I think my child would have been enthusiastic regardless…it’s a tricky one I think

Had this 7 years ago for my DS. I hated it too, felt it was intrusive and unnecessary....I asked the school if I could bring him in to school instead as my son was really nervous, but they were very keen to see the child in 'their home environment' and so they could meet the teacher to help break the ice. 😕

The irony is his teacher and TAs were part of a job share, and his first 2 days they weren't there and it was completely different people. We went to school and he was looking out for Mrs R who had come to his house.... only to be told she was in on Monday. Made no sense!

Imagine if they started doing parents evening at home as well vomits

My mum was a reception teacher and give these visits for years. She found them so helpful to see how to help/offer any additional support to the children she taught. Really she said they weren't to judge but just to get a better idea of where the child was, their temperament, if they had additional needs, if they would need language assistance, potty training etc.

PS and to make it easier for the child, less overwhelming and scary

It’s nice to hear the perspective from the other angle…it’s funny because I liked meeting them but didn’t like having them at the house. I think it’s more to do with me really

I don't know where you live but when my youngest started I had a visit and it absolutely wasn't anything to do with checking where you lived. I'm surprised so many people haven't come across them, I've read lots of threads about them on here so must be pretty common place.

My children’s (very normal state school) does home visits. I’ve got one tomorrow for DC2 even though they already know me really well (DC1 attends the same school, I’ve been a parent chaperone/class volunteer for a couple of years and DH has chaperoned trips too).

For ours they said it gives the child a bit of one-on-one time with the teacher and TA, and a chance for you to discuss anything privately that you may want to (we’ve already had two group induction sessions at school).

I had this with both of mine so about 7 years ago, also hated it felt uncomfortable and that it was unnecessary

Disagree with those saying the purpose is not to judge your home situation I think it's a very big part of it

My (now adult) child attended a large village school which did home visits from the reception class teacher 34 years ago. They also had the children in with their local playgroup peers for a couple of hours introductory session.

It was a couple of weeks before the Christmas holiday and my child had made a card for the teacher which he had done all himself; the teacher thanked him and said "Isn't mummy clever." which he wasn't impressed with.

After around ten minutes, my son told the reception class teacher, "I think it's time you went now."

The day he started there was no sign of that teacher but the parents and children weren't told why. The school had brought in a supply teacher that none of the children had met before. We were eventually told some weeks later that the reception class teacher had gone on sick leave and she never did return to the school and the reception intake were taught by a supply teacher for their first two terms.

After DC1 visit where the teacher commented on my playstation games not being appropriate to play around DC (i didnt?), asked if ever left DC alone with the dog, and took DC hand and said "id love to see your bedroom" already walking up the stairs i decided fuck no to any visits for DC2. She never got to see the bedroom either and she made a note of my refusal 🤣

Refused DC2 visit and got told it was mandatory. Sure.....sure......

😳 thanks for sharing this…sounds like my worst nightmare. I would have politely told them to stay downstairs as they have no right to be snooping.

This sounds so odd😂😂 the teacher just vanished?

i'm in scotland,pre nursery we had a home visit- it was 1st time child met his (key)nursery worker. Its his "safe space". she was the visitor iyswim
I think you need to reframe it. Whilst i hate an "intruder"(self invited /agreed to reluctantly) i realise that in their own home meet up is probably a good idea. Comorbid is they see inside your house n you feel "judged" .
Its really about the child tho- fairynuf the teacher may be able to assess home life(or form opinion) i think from your kids boots you have to put your worries aside tho.

claps fervently