Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

The family having a cleaner tells you the girl will be compliant?! What a leap. What would it tell you if the child was a boy?

The poster did not say that is what they would think. But it is how a lot of people do think and make judjments.

They started it the year after DD1 started Reception, so would have done it for DD2 but the Reception teacher's comment was, "yeah we can skip that - I know you guys"

They do this in my grand children's school which is not a private school just the normal local infants

when my first child was due to start reception the teacher in year R came to visit at home, had a hot drink chatted with my daughter and I. It went well and my daughter felt she knew her on day one. It was smiles all round.

Not in the UK, but I remember times when schools made homevisits to only certain pupils. We never got them since my dad was high up on the social ladder, but I know of people who were workingclass and they got visit from school even checking out where the child's bed was and where they were going to do their homework. Oh yes, class-society.

We had this for both of ours. I always assumed it was to check that you lived in catchment.

I've been on the other side, worked as both a Nursery Nurse and Teacher in my career. The home visits are usually undertaken on INSET days, during staff meeting time, or at the start of term before the children are due in. I can assure posters I was never interested in looking around the home, it was more about meeting the child and getting all the paperwork completed. Remember, the Teacher/Nursery Nurse/TA could be just as anxious about these visits as the parents. Personally, I would rather have used the time to set my classroom up, and have an informal chat at school rather than trekking around the local area to find addresses!

Yes I had this for DS (now 16) but not for DD (now 8) because of COVID. Inner city state primary, not oversubscribed. I had totally forgotten they were coming, we were in the middle of moving furniture around and had to scrabble around to find a couple of dining chairs. I did find it a bit weird but it was nice for my DS to meet his teacher 1:1 before starting school.

Hi op,

mine didn’t get it because they were already « known » in nursery so not needed. It is meant for them to see the child with parents, have an idea of relationships and also give you an opportunity to say privately what you wouldn’t say at the door…in front of everyone.

but. Yeah. Awckward. Well it is done now!

I think you need to separate out in your head the different posters. I haven’t said I think the teachers are judging me.

My issue with home visits is the cost. I highly doubt home visits are a cost effective way of developing the relationship between the child and school (or the parents and school) if you bother to take into consideration the cost to parents.

I know some teachers are parents, my grandfather, uncle, aunt and brother are all teachers who are parents. I have not seen evidence in my dealing with schools that the reality of living on the bread line is routinely taken into consideration when schools make requests of parents. And all of my relatives (other than my grandfather, who died before I could ask about such things) have said they talk about poverty and how it affects kids but it almost never drives school wide decisions, only targeted intervention (and then it’s generally limited to FSM kids). Which does help explain why the attainment gap between rich and poor kids continues to widen.

You can shout about being focused on the child all you like, but your focus on and responsibility for a child is far more limited than a parent’s. Your focus on supporting their transition to school is important for their education, but a home visit supporting their transition to school is not necessarily as much benefit to the child as many of the other things a parent could be doing that day if they have scarce resources.

This never happened when my children were young - many years ago.

It was expected at my grandchildren's school and I too think it is excessive and an invasion of privacy. Their parents didn't particularly mind though. In my view, it places pressure on parents to agree because, as was said, it they did not they may well be labelled as "uncooperative" or "difficult".

It's standard where we live and a refusal would probably result in a visit from Social Services. They do it to see your child in a comfortable setting. I think they feel a bit awkward too.

And yes, it can make them aware of issues such as whether the child is in a happy and safe environment.

It would not result in a visit from SS. On what grounds would a visit be legal?

It's not a thing we're we live. Instead we went to met the teacher one-to-one in the new classroom shortly before school started. Seems much more to the point.

We had the teacher and the TA round when my daughter started reception. My daughter then declared she wanted to show the teacher her bedroom. I laughed and said she didn’t need to go and see her room. The teacher said it’s fine and went upstairs. It was a bit embarrassing and I’m not sure why. It was 14 years ago and I still remember the feeling of dread when my daughter asked the teacher if she wanted to see her bedroom. There was only 15 kids in the year so the teachers had a fun time having a nosey at everyone’s house

I had my twins around before starting nursery. I was a bit 😳 at first as it meant having to take off work and also keep the kids homes (and writing off £90 in childcare costs that I wasn't going to use that day!) . They were perfectly nice but it was implied that they really really must do the visit so I didn't feel I could refuse.

As it turns out it was nice to talk about some things with them which would have been difficult to do in the setting as with 20 kids running around they wouldn't be able to give full attention - about behaviour, medical issues and personal ones as their dad was no longer in the picture reliably

My area -in fact less than a quarter of a mile away- had a very very tragic and infamous child murdered by their parents during lockdown when no one had been able to really guage what was going on in the home - had someone done a home visit things could have turned out so differently for that child and I think a lot of my local primaries bought in home visits since then

We had a home visit, whoch is standard in our state primary. First child ran upstairs and hid in bed. Never spoke to or saw the teachers and when I suggested getting him down, they said "no! Don't worry about it!". Which proves that the entire purpose of the visit was to scan the house for any signs to be concerned about (who only knows how they judge, but clearly not interested in seeing or engaging the actual child😅).

I would feel awkward with this and would feel like they were sussing out my home and judging me. When my children were younger this was unheard of but I know some schools in my area do this but not all.

Actually it would. It would create a Safeguarding concern that the parents were trying to hide something or that things weren't as they should be. SS would then do a home visit to check things were OK and possibly refer you to Family Services. It would be escalated further if you refused that.

Remember how everyone was in uproar that if your kids weren't vaccinated against COVID, the School or SS could do it without your consent or take them into care without you knowing where they were? Schools have the power to involve SS and your kids can be put into care. You won't find out until you go to pick them up! I've also sadly seen it happen to people who were reported maliciously.

Standard practice in Wales, and yes it felt very intrusive, mine opened fridge and cupboards!

This is why I felt that sense of obligation…I think a lot of people wear rose tinted glasses regarding this type of stuff but in reality children’s safeguarding is busier than ever in recent times and I think schools end up dealing with a lot of the repercussions of this so perhaps these home visits is a way of sussing out kids that might need extra support/SS involvement?

They opened fridge and cupboards? 🥲 no way

omg thiss

If the school reported it to social services it's unlikely they'd visit, maybe call and you could just say it wasn't convenient.

If SS did want to visit you can turn them away as well, they have no right of entry. If they brought a police officer with them, the police officer could have a right of entry but they'd have to have reason to suspect a crime had been committed or your child was in danger, which refusing a school teacher's visit (on it's own) does not create. So you could refuse them entry too. If they insisted anyway you could make a complaint or sue the police force for unlawful entry and get an apology and maybe a small pay out.

Police do not have a right of entry simply for welfare checks. They'd need a warrant and no judge is going to issue a warrant under these circumstances. there would have to be a lot more reason for concern.

Of course you'd have to be pretty confident, bolshy even, and with plenty of time on your hands to go through that rigmarole. But nothing in our laws gives teachers or anyone else a right to enter your home just because they have a preferred way to get to know your child before school starts.

The school did this for ds3. They would normally visit the child at nursery but ds3 didn't go to nursery so they visited him at home instead. Ds3 loved it and still talks about it sometimes, he's 13 now!