Ds had nightmare about his teacher shouting

[Gigglewiggle87]

Ds had a nightmare that MR X was shouting at him for not trying hard enough to do his work at school ( this has happend). Ds has autism has an ehcp.

Anyway DS had put MR X as his picture on his home screen. I asked him why and he said because I want to stare at him.

Its sad really that it's on his mind so much that he's had a bad dream over it. 😢

Sorry about some of the ignorant comments you are getting op.

as he’s having nightmares about it, and he’s used to getting a booklet about the changes, what about a silly little story for nighttime about mr, says good luck with the new teacher and goodbye for now, mr x says sorry for shouting and hope you have a good year, and then delete mr x from the screen as you’ve said the goodbyes type thing? Or too young an idea for him?

Or what I said above. When the teacher shouted at him in real life . I asked him tje next day how was your teacher today. Ds said he was OK. He smiled at me today . The picture ds is looking at is a smiling one. Sk maybe that's what he's looking for.

And I think you need to educate your son on what is and isn't appropriate regarding other people's photos. If this teacher found out, and said.. ok I understand why you've done that but could you please not put me on your tablet as it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, would you just refuse and say no it makes him feel better?

I know he may not be aware, but I think that's worse. He doesn't need to tell you, it is uncomfortable and inappropriate. You're the parent and he's only 9. Just remove the picture from the tablet.

Its in the school website for the whole world to see . And sd I said ds have even been given a picture of his teacher to keep. I guess that's bad to

You really don't seem to understand. That teacher has chosen to put his own picture on the internet, and give to your son and probably other children to help with their teacher transition. He has not chosen to have his face as someone's screensaver. How can you not see the difference? I'm not blaming your son, he's a child and he doesn't understand. But you're an adult and you should know it's inappropriate. I find it concerning that you don't.

Why not just delete the picture with some clear reasons explaining why you're doing it.

Even if that were the case, that’s not a positive thing? If he’s desiring this man’s smile so much he wants to look at him on his Home Screen.

yes this man gave out his picture “on the internet” but plenty of people gave their photos on the internet and it is not ok to set them as your Home Screen. You’re making this out that the teacher almost endorsed it because he “gave his picture out”.

You seem to think oh he’s young and it’s all innocent and sweet but you are raising a man and he needs to learn now that this kind of action is not acceptable and people would find it uncomfortable. Otherwise how, when he’s 14 and a girl he likes tells him to go away are you then going to explain that this behaviour isn’t ok when you’ve endorsed it this time? You’re setting him up to think that this is normal behaviour in society, which it certainly isn’t.

of course he’s just a child and it’s ok if he does some odd stuff but I dont think anyone here seems to understand why you don’t get that it’s excessive and needs to be nipped in the bud.

And you have no interest in accepting people’s answers so why even ask?

I'm.not interested in accepting people's answers ? What you mean is I'm not accepting the answers YOU think i should. And other who have said similar to you. Maybe just maybe I have accepted the answers that YOU don't agree with. I do not have to agree with YOUR answer.

No. I mean you’re not willing to accept people’s answers. This is a forum, where a question asked is up for debate. Therefore there will be varying opinions. All must be considered as potentially being legitimate. Clearly, from your aggressive, dismissive posts, you were never even going to CONSIDER some opinions. Therefore you are not willing to accept people’s answers, only those that align with how you already feel. So I’m still confused as to why you bothered asking.

You mean I'm not will to accept people's answers that you think i should. What I choose to accept is up to me not you . What I will not accept is people twisting what I have said . Making assumption saying my child is weird and not showing one bit of empathy for how My child felt .

Why did I bother asking ? I did not ask anything .

if you are so smart you would have read that the op has suggested he change the screen saver already

Have you missed that OP is already working on this. It’s entirely possible to support someone to find different mechanisms for dealing with difficulties without resorting to shaming and labeling something because it’s not neurotypical (I assume in your degree you studied the social model of disability).

I see so many people in young people’s mental health services who are suicidal because they’ve been shamed into hiding their neurodivergence. Told to stop stimming because it draws attention to them and makes them stand out, shamed into thinking they’re stupid because they process information differently etc etc.

Of course it’s possible to support people to navigate the world in a way that works for them, shaming them is never never the way to do this.

Very well said.

Hardly. He’s 9, with social and emotional skills that are probably equivalent to that of maybe a typically developing 6 year old. You are talking about this child as if he is a teenager.

At 6 there were kids in my child’s class who went through a phase of pulling down their trousers to show each other their bums. At 6, yes it needs dealt with, but it’s nowhere near the same as if 15 year olds were doing it in the middle of class.

I’ve known a 4-5year old who loved their teacher so much they’ve asked for a duvet cover with a massive photo of them on it (they didn’t get it.).

Kids do weird things, but by and large they come from a completely innocent place and our job is to guide them, not over react or consider them to be deviants. In this case there is also additional mental health issues that need to be considered.

The OP has not said she is comfortable with what he has done with the photo, but equally she is viewing it, I think, proportionally considering the maturity of her child. In any case just before a highly anxious child goes back to school is in no way the time to try and educate him about the appropriate usage of other people’s images as absolutely none of it will go in and it will probably just inflame things further. This would need to be done in a neutral way, unconnected to this particular teacher, when he is calm.

Come off it.

Grown adults have been known to pin pictures of people they dislike to dart boards. Then throw darts at it.

OP when I got to the bit of your opening post of, "to stare at him" I laughed, that is exactly the kind of thing I would have done.

He's working a year 1 level . So could be some truth in what you say . He is younger than his age. He doesn't pull trousers down etc though 😅

I never even spoke to him about the photo in the end because I felt it was his way of managing how he felt . He took the photo of his self without me asking.

He did say several times he was scared of going back to school. I knowledge his feelings touched on what he was scared about. Then focused more of the positive stuff

Grown adults with anger issues or unhealthy coping mechanisms, yes. Normal people, not so much.

You seem to forget this is an autistic child, not “normal people”.

The ableism on this thread is as staggering as it is depressing.

Or with ASD?