How old were you when you stopped having sex.

[whatisforteamum]

I'm 57 and realised that I barely ever have sex now
Relationship issues and dh has had ED since a heart attack does have Viagra though.
I don't have much drive really tbh.
How old where you when you stopped having sex?

77 and still performing well, no loss of libido in the old fella.

I had no sex drive from the age of 32-44. But then it went crazy. Like 3 times a day crazy and still is

Mid-50s and still sexually active - when I get the opportunity.

My libido has changed a lot since my younger years. I don't fantasise about sex anymore or think about it that much.

I can no longer tolerate bad sex and would rather go without than endure something I am not enjoying.

I am very vocal about what I like and how I want things, but when a man just completely ignores my requests and continues to gravitate back to the shit way he was doing it, then I can't be bothered. I find many men claim to prioritise a woman's pleasure, but the reality is quite different.

So, in summary, I can and do enjoy sex but find the opportunities for 'good' sex rare.

Still going strong and I’m 60. HRT helps in many areas

I’m not sad about the person not wanting sex, I’m sad they had a partner who made it a chore rather than something enjoyable. That’s the sad bit.

31

I'm on hrt.
Always had a high sex drive until a couple of yrs ago.
I might try testosterone.
Sometimes wonder if that part of my life is over but hope not.

42
Kinda sad about it and fine with it all at once. I can walk with both feelings.
I’m 52 now.
Sex was removed from our relationship without my realising what was happening. Definitely removed without my consent.
It was a slow learning experience on my part. I kept hope alive by excusing his discardment of us with thoughts like, “When he’s less tired, when he loses weight, when we go on holiday, when we’re less worried about X, Y, Z, when we have more time, when we have more privacy, when, when, when.”

‘When’ never showed up.

All the whens helped me ignore the ‘never again’ stalking me until I was forced to confront reality.

Anyway, I’ve been single 3 years to the day, ironically. And oddly, I’m much more at peace with being celibate. Being single, which I’ll remain, makes that reality a much more peaceful one. I’d rather be celibate and single than navigate relationships after the incredible pain my ex husband put the entire family through. I can’t give intimacy to another person anyway because I have no trust. Being single and celibate is safe for me. I like feeling safe. It’s the first time I’ve felt safe in my entire life.

I've never been fussed about it.
I have never chased it or tried to get it.
I've had long term partners and had sex then, but since the last one fucked off, I've not been that bothered replacing them. I'm not bothered if I ever have sex again.
It's been about 6 years now, so, about 38/39

I started on low dosage testosterone a few months ago. Still have zero libido.
And actually it's not zero libido, I'm almost repulsed at the thought of it. It's not doing wonders for my marriage. Haven't had sex for prob 2 years

Very much relate to the single and celibate feeling safe.

66 and still at it. Testosterone worked fantastically well for me.

I'm 50 and a few months ago ended a friends with benefits type situation which kept me going as such but where I was too emotionally invested for that dynamic. I haven't massive interest in a relationship with anyone other than him but the thought of not kissing, flirting with, being held by someone, let alone not having sex again makes me feel very sad indeed. I'm reasonably attractive I think and probably could find someone to do all that with, finding someone I WOULD want to do all that with is a different story altogether 😒

50s. Still love it: best free thing on earth. Even better since pregnancy no longer a risk. Believe it’s common for people to go off it past 50 for various reasons, but it can perk you up.

56 when I got divorced. I have a huge zest for life and doing fun things but not sex. I cant imagine ever wanting sex again, but then I could never see what all the fuss was about in the first place.

I’m 57 and thanks to testosterone in my HRT regime my libido is still going strong. It’s like Laughtillyoupee says it’s a lot to do with the close bond I feel with my husband, and we’ve also been together for just over 40 years.

22 but that's because I became a single parent and don't date (actually 25 as I remember I did attempt dating for a while) I'm not against the idea. It's refreshing to know that others still have a sex life longer than I thought people did.

58 (became a widow) so not sure about my possible future sex life, would like to have sex again though, just not yet ready to meet anyone to do it with!

63 year old woman here. Husband is a few years younger but not wildly interested. He always had a somewhat lower sex drive than me and I think would not bother if I hadn't made it clear it is important to me.

I think as you get older it's easy to let stressful patches, minor illnesses, joint and back pain etc. get in the way, then suddenly you realise it's been months. At that point you can let it go, or tackle it head on. I don't want to live in a sexless marriage so I've made sure we had the difficult conversations, and I'm glad we have. We now have sex every few weeks to a month or so and we do both need to be relaxed and not exhausted.

I'm pretty sure he's not using porn or seeing anyone else. He has mild ED and the best way for him to come is through masturbation, which takes a long time and is frankly bloody hard work. We have adapted and he will now finish himself off, which I don't mind at all.

It does matter to me but I can live with it being occasional. I do need orgasms but can do that for myself in between. We have an excellent relationship on the whole with a lot of affectionate touch, so I'm not at all interested in looking elsewhere.

I've pondered having a regular date night where we go to bed a bit early knowing we are going to have sex and see how it goes. We're having sex often enough that hasn't felt necessary. But I think it can be a habit you get out of and making a commitment to have a go regularly can work for some.

Emily Nagasoki's book "Come Together" is very interesting on sex and ageing. She talks about the difference between desire and pleasure. At the start of a relationship, desire is high and sex often happens easily and spontaneously. When that changes with age, we try to rekindle the spark - but actually, if you put pleasure, not desire, at the hart of the relationship, you can basically commit to exploring what feels nice and seeing where it goes. It might require some organising or pushing through embarrassment, but it does offer an alternative road map for a continuing and satisfying sexual relationship.

But - if it doesn't bother you or your partner, it seems to me it's 100% fine to let that part of the relationship go, as many women on here are describing.

I don't view it as 'stopped' exacty, more as a break, but at 53, around 8 years ago.

Late 40s. Would like to be having sex, but have pretty much given up on finding a relationship as I've only ever had three short ones (two years max) plus some flings. Last time was a few months ago, but he was a bit of a dick.

Massive respect to real people who acknowledge biology, which is heroic these days and say it as it is - after menopause it is natural for a woman to be completely uninterested in sex.

I wanted and had, 2 children. I'd have been happy to only have had sex twice in my life to produce them.

57 here,p. Bit of a dip in peri and with teenagers at home. HRT and empty nest have rekindled the spark!

35 (now 47). Bit stark seeing it written down like that but I started perimenopause at 38 and my libido has dwindled, and I don’t really miss it. Slightly better now I’m on the right dose of HRT but I have been single for 12 years and haven’t met anyone (also single) I’d actually want to shag. But never say never. If the opportunity arose I would go for it.