Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Countdown to the follow-up post where OP asks if SIBU to be upset that her son and his DW have decided to emigrate to Australia....

You’ll ‘inform’ them that you’re going to completely ignore the fact that they don’t want you there and force them to either pretend to be happy you’re gatecrashing, or tell their parent that they aren’t welcome? Well that’s a sure fire way to make sure they never invite you to anything ever again.

If this is a reverse and you’re actually the DiL, then it’s a bloody stupid way of getting opinions. Nobody is going to give you a different view because you’re being cagey about who you are.

I mean… if that’s true, which I doubt, it sounds like a bloody boring party. Host one yourself, get some booze in, and invite your own mates (and possibly Rachel 😂)

Or some Halloween finger-painting? Always popular with the little ones.

If they wanted you there they would have invited you. There is no clearer way to say it and the fact this has had to be repeated tells everybody why. If they wanted your help making sandwiches(!?!?) they would have asked. I hope they are planning a drug-fuelled orgy but even if it's just a quiet night dooking for apples they can do it without you. If you don't let this go and respect their decision you are going to find they have moved 500 miles away and are raising a family that you see once in a blue moon.

@itsahalloweenone how did you find out about the party.
Did you snoop or did your kids tell you.

I'm getting that you don't respect boundaries and you're just going to turn up.

Even if that's the case, what on earth have your adult child's party catering arrangements got to do with you? Why do you think two grown adults in their late 20s couldn't put some fucking snacks on a plate without you there to hold their hand while they're doing it?

JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE TO ENJOY THEIR PARTY.

😂

This cannot be real???

Why on earth would you want to go to their Halloween party?!

Do you have form for going to parties you haven't been invited to? Or is you son the lucky exception?!

It's a party -no way that none of them drink. They really aren't going to sit around eating your crumby sandwiches!!

You say you're early 50s but you sound waaay older - you really need to let go here and accept that they are adults and may not want to socialise with you sometimes - however well you all get on.......

Not rude at all. I used to have parties my parents were invited to and ones they weren't. Maybe they want to hang out with their friends and let loose without parental observation!

Why not suggest they make it a fancy dress
party. Turn up in a scream mask. Win win. You get to go and no one knows you are there!

btw that’s a joke. You strike me as the kind
of person who might actually do this! Please don’t!

Ahh, you've heard tell of my mother in law and her insane family members I can see 😂

OP. Let this go. Step away from the thread and stop even thinking about this.

It doesn't matter what age you are, having your parents around changes the dynamic.

Holy fuck.

I didn't mean it as in show up unannounced. DS1 will be picking up DS2, I'd obviously inform them as I don't have a car of my own and will have to jump in with them

Why would you have to jump in the car to pick anyone up?

You aren't invited. Get over it.

Get your own friends.

This is weird thinking of gate crashing your children's party against their own wishes.

Sad

You are NOT invited. As in not coming, won’t be there, not on the guest list, asked NOT to come.

Please, for your own sake and for the sake of your children DO not just show up and have some self respect and awareness.

As everyone else has already said, DON'T GO. You haven't been invited. I am the same age as you and I understand why you're hurt by it, but I'm afraid that's too bad. In your shoes I wouldn't dream of turning up uninvited - or rather 'jumping in someone's car on the way', as you're planning to do, which is actually even worse, because then you're also forcing that person into being complicit.

Don't worry it won't be your mum, it will be my mother in law 😂

A party of 20-somethings and not a single one drinks or does drugs. Ok then!

Anyway on a separate note, OP I have some magic beans here you might be interested in.....

This is a public service announcement, on behalf of Generation X, to the Young People.
Please do not interpret this thread to mean that parties in the late 90s and early 2000s consisted of wives serving sandwiches, assisted by their mothers in law, to benignly appreciative sober males. Most of us went to proper parties, many of which we did not remember the next day (which proves we were there, although that meme was coined by your grandparents’ generation. They had proper parties, too)

Did I marry your ex? He says he was never married previously but this HAS to be my mother in law 😂😂😂

Absolutely not, why would you show up at something you’ve been told you’re not invited to? Just be respectful of their decision. It sounds like you have lots of social occasions and get on well, so why jeopardise this for some silly Halloween party. Why is it a problem you’d be on your own for a few hours? Surely that’s perfectly normal. I think you need to give your head a wobble if you’re thinking of gate crashing. Your DIL doesn’t need help preparing or setting up food, just wish them a nice party and watch some TV or read a book that evening

The parent can “help the wife” set up the food??!!! Surely your son/daughter will be preparing/setting up for the party with their partner. A joint/team-work effort between them.