Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Your son is an adult. He is a person in his own right, not an appendage of yours. You cannot crash his social life simply because you are not happy with your own.

You very much alluded to it being your DIL that’s excluding you. Between that and the comments along the lines of trying to amuse yourself as best you can I can’t for the life of me think why you’re not invited. 🙄

That's it in a nutshell.

Also, please elaborate on curated sandwiches to themes!

But sandwiches are kid party things as a rule, surely. We move on to nicer stuff as we get older (ignoring the middle years of just crisps and booze, obviously 😀)

Did you also go to their school discos op?! 😆

I'm getting a Beverly Goldberg vibe.

sandwiches are kid party things as a rule, surely

The nearest I've got to sandwich-as-party-food as an adult is the buffet at office training days.

Op, if you're the one who wants to attend the youngsters' party, just sit this one out. I say this as someone who loves my Mum coming to each and every celebration possible. However if the younger generation don't want you to attend on this occasion, I would respect their wishes and ruminate no further.

Oh god yes, the stale nastiness.

Great thread title @itsahalloweenone

If I was your child, then yes I would find your behaviour rude and I would be hurt by your insistence to insert yourself as a main character.

Mad as some of OP’s posts have been, the replies have been golden. I bloody love this place sometimes.

I'm struggling to understand how any 50 year old finds it so hard to spend an evening on their own?

It's not your party and you'll cry if you want to.

Think most of them are cousins, so I’m not sure the latter would be wholesome.

What's wrong with the thread title?

I'll sit this one out

Serious question@itsahalloweenone, You say that your DH visits his mother for 3 days a week (and when not there is mostly working or sleeping), so you want to go because you don't want to on your own for the evening.... does this mean that your DC need to spend all their weekends with you, so you're not alone? If so I really think you need to seriously think about the negative impact that you are having on your DC.

I’m mortified for you. Why would you want to go to a young people’s party ? I hope this is all a joke.

They are not going to be caring about sandwiches, they are getting hammered. Cop on to yourself mammy.

I know, when DP went on his best mate's stag do, we're 47, I had the best week. All the food he doesn't like, all the TV, it was great. Happy to see him back, of course, but I remembered what it was like to live by myself with cats and no snoring, and enjoyed it. I am happy in my own company, maybe a little too much, but the one thing I'm not is needy.

That would be incredibly rude

Me too. When my DH is away and the kids say they want to come over I say no!

I think you should go, and take your MIL for good measure.

A fully generational party!

Oh wait. I've just remembered you don't like your MIL.............

@itsahalloweenone do you really not understand why you.might not be welcome at a party for 20 somethings, particularly if your intention is to take over the hosting and bully your DiL? I hope they have a great party, drink, take whatever they feel like and do what some of us did in our twenties. The time for cucumber sandwiches on doilies is years away for them. Let them breathe.

Anyone else getting Pam from Gavin & Stacey vibes?

Absolutely cringing at your lack of perspective OP.

The utter irony of you stating spending time with your MIL is your idea of hell, but in the same breath insisting on foisting yourself uninvited on your DIL.

Fuck me, talk about spectacularly missing your own point!

You are very brave coming back to the thread OP.