Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

I’m sure the parents are hurt at not getting an invite, but they need to get over it. It doesn’t matter if they get on with everyone, the invitation hasn’t been extended and they need to accept that and most importantly - DO NOT TURN UP!

If you go to their party,which you haven't been invited to, In oh, about three months, you will be on here upset because your SIL and DIL don't seem as keen on you as they were before. There are boundaries that must be respected because otherwise you aren't respecting their choices.

Haven’t read other comments but my quick response is it’s absolutely fine. Much as you love your parents, it’s a different dynamic to friends.

They don’t want mum there setting up plates of sandwiches and making sure all the recycling is put in the correct bins.😂😂😂

Subsequent threads will include

”is it okay to turn up at the hospital when my DIL is in labour?”
”is it okay to just drop in on my DIL & Baby?”
”Son is NC and I’m devastated”

OP Im going to give some GENUINE advice here now.

You seem to feel left out with your DH away at his mothers and all the kids at a party... why don't you book something?

There are lots of places that host Halloween parties and events, go out do something fun and meet new people.

Why would you wanna 'hang' with a bunch of kids in their 20s? I'm in my 30s even then I always find that they are of a different generation,nothing in common.

Enjoy your solitude and stay home OP!

Oh my lord. Stop being so clingy! I am guessing you are one of the parents. If you are the child, maybe loosen the apron strings a little.

Can you not understand how the vibe of a party is completely changed by someone's parents being there? It's not even to do with the age difference, it's that all conversations at the party will have to be suitable for parents ears, which is restrictive and crap for people who just want to chill out with their friends.

I’m torn between telling you to get a life and feeling very sorry for you @itsahalloweenone.

No matter how well you get on with your kids, they have every right to have a party without you there. Letting loose with your peers at a party you have arranged yourself, at your own home, is a rite of passage. Having mummy on hand to help set up and be on hand tidying up is not the vibe.

You say you are ‘only’ 50 but at almost the same age as you, I would be bored rigid and feel like a museum exhibit at a part of 25 year olds and I am ‘young’ for my age.

Let them enjoy this phase of life without being clingy. In a few years it will rebalance.

I understand you wanting to go given last year they had a more family centred party which you enjoyed but this year they aren’t. Please don’t just turn up why don’t you have a family based party the weekend before or after at yours? Or have everyone over for a fireworks night party (everyone comes to yours for some food etc. then all go to an organised show somewhere close then depending on ages they could come back to yours). While I do believe they might not all be wanting some drink and drug all night party I do find it has to believe there’s a group of 20 somethings and none of them would like to have as few glasses of wine/beers catch up talk shit and order themselves a taxi and takeaway at the same time x

Oh Val, please tell me this isn’t you!

If you’re not Val, could any of this actually apply to you as a reason?!

Val is not invited because she is a crazy drunk, smokes in the kitchen and grabbed Dave’s (DH friend) actual dick last year at a wedding. Val also doesn’t have a car - drink driving ban. Val is absolutely lush when sober and is a joy to have at a gathering during the day. Her sandwiches are sublime and it certainly takes a load off me.

But we do drink and we tell Val we don’t bc it’s easier to have an AF get together with her than risk a midday dick grab! Also FIL mother is long dead (RIP) but he absolutely hates drunk Val too as well as parties and knows his boundaries. Quite content to stay home.

Seriously though I’m hoping you’re just a bit upset to be left out and not crazy drunk Val who does actually know that she is crazy drunk Val, it’s no secret.

I am in my fifties with children in their 20s. I would absolutely NOT expect them to invite me to their parties and I would not expect to mingle with their friends.

@SofieM0 😮😯😂

This thread’s taken either a rather dark or over-imaginative turn. Wild.

Don’t feel left out. This isn’t a family party to which you haven’t been invited. This is a friend party to which brothers have been invited. Congratulate yourself on the fact that your sons are friends and then plan something for yourself to do on Halloween that doesn’t involve gatecrashing a party.

This was my train of thought

I am really confused why you don’t understand this.

You aren’t as young as them. No matter how young and trendy you think you are, to them you are their friends mum.

You being on your own and trying to get an invite is a bit weird to be honest.

Yep! Family invited so not just friends

But that’s a decision that’s up to the party-givers, not gatecrashers.

So is Granny invited? And if not how does she feel about it?

I do understand and respect that. I will not be going to the party and will try to occupy myself as best as I can.
I can't go with my husband as he leaves on Saturday evening and spends the whole of Saturday and Monday with his mum.

Not granny. My nephews (or husband's nephews to be more exact) are invited.

nieces too

Younger family, same age group, same interests, same things to talk about. I am best friends with my cousin, we see each other all the time. We never bring our mothers because we are “family”. Your kids are not your mates

I'll take that on board