Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Is this thread serious? You need to get a serious grip if you think your adult children want their parents at their parties, especially if you’re planning to swan in and place host. Make friends your own age and cut the cord.

It doesn’t really matter about whether they’re drinking/taking drugs/shagging on the stairs. It’s just that they want to be with their friends their own age.

OP, like others I wonder if you’re feeling wistful about having your own freedom cut short by having kids so young and want to live a bit through your kids. Is there anything you could do with your partner and/or own friends that you’ve never had the chance to do? Make the most of having the freedom of children that don’t need you! And a night in alone to do whatever you want - invite a friend round for a catch up?

They aren't the party animal kind. None of them drink or do drugs

Doesn’t mean they can’t socialise with friends their own age without mum supervising. People are allowed to see their friends without other people whether they are 12, 19, 27, 55, or 84. Whether they drink or not, smoke or not, do cocaine or not they are allowed to have that relationship independently of you. I have a friend I haven’t seen without her wife since we were about 19. She is my oldest friend and I’m not delighted by it, despite her wife being absolutely lovely. It would be the same if she brought her mum/dad who I love like family and have known my whole life. It’s annoying when you can’t see a pal without someone else. How annoying as a 27yo to not be able see your pals without mum. Do you allow your sons to have a relationship separate from you or do you always go along with them when they meet?

I wouldn’t want my parents a party I was hosting for friends. It’s not a family gathering. The parents need to get a life and organise their own party with their own friends.

🤣

This would make a great Seinfeld episode.

There are family parties and there are friend parties. Some people are lucky enough to count siblings and cousins among their friends.

Do you realise how needy you sound? It’s embarrassing!! They won’t want mummy there to make a trifle and hang around!! Have your own party… or be alone for one night! No biggie and as if none of them drink or do drugs, that’s what they want you to think!!
leave them be!!

I was just thinking back on my birthday dinner a few years ago. Table booked for me and 9 girlfriends. 1 of my friends turned up with her DH in tow… so 11 of us squished onto the table. She did the whole “I thought it was partners too”… nope, I’m pretty sure she didn’t want to catch the train alone, so brought along her designated driver. It didn’t entirely ruin the night, but it would have been different/better without Dave!! Although I think he was more pissed off than me about how his evening played out 😂

I’m really hoping you’re going to put us out of our misery OP and confirm you’re not still planning to gate crash the party 🤪

'Help the wife' 'Take some of the load of her' Ffs What is it 1960? Surely the couple will be preparing things together.

And people in their 20s are NOT going to be making sandwiches for their guests 😂😮

I think the son wrote the opening message to gauge how we feel because his mother is pushing hard for an invite!

Hope we've sorted it out for you sunshine x

OP is not coming back!

She is now trying to cancel her sexy witch costume and the Party bag tat that she has ordered.

She expected Mumsnet to tell her how mean they were being to Mummy.

yes. Rude.

Are you the Mother or are you trying to work out which fucking planet the Mother is on.

if you're the 'child' here, I heavily suggest you move to NZ

if you're the mother I heavily suggest you get a life & stop hanging onto your sons like a dog hangs onto a bone.

@MoxFulder Oh I've come over all reminiscent! Might put on the remix of Professional Widow whilst I'm doing the dishes.

yes as they aren’t invited!!

Omg, she’s maybe just feeling lonely and just wanted to join the fun. Maybe she also like the idea of a Halloween party……..

However, bottom line is you were not directly invited so I wouldn’t turn up without knowing that it would be okay.

if you are really desperate no harm in asking the host if you can attend and help…. You’ll know the answer either way.

Jesus Christ. No.

Edited, because I’m cry-laughing so much, I thought I’d quoted the person who asked why invite people to a Halloween party in August.

To allow a long lead in to deal with the fallout of not inviting your mother?

Seriously OP, if this isn’t a wind up, then I respect you as a real person needing advice. I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you. Because you have to laugh. The whole scenario does have a bit of the sit-com about it. I could imagine an episode of Peepshow. The mum turns up with a plate of sandwiches to find Super Hans smoking crack dressed as Tutankhamen 😂

I hope you’re not offended by them keeping it to friends their own age. It’s not rude not to invite you, even though I know in some families and cultures it’s very common for parents to be at gatherings. You’re clearly a very loving and proud mum, who loves spending time with her kids, and supporting them. I’m sure they love and appreciate you for that. Throw your own Halloween party! I bet they’ll all end up crashing it later.

Because you're not invited, surely that's easy enough to understand.

As they say around here ‘No is a complete sentence.’ Please don’t embarrass yourself by jumping in the car and going uninvited.

@WoolySnail

Divorce him now while you can still string a sentence together.

MIL is that you??

I’m thirty. I’ve never attended a house party with sandwiches. I think I might be getting to the age whereby there’s a couple of large packets of crisps left on the counter.

It’s not unheard of for people to turn up to a house party with a meal deal with their bag of booze.

It’s rude to fish for an invite.

Take a huge step back before your DIL/sons all move to Australia.

@allwillbe

youd like to think so, but...