Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Argh, I’m dying reading this thread. DO NOT TURN UP UNINVITED. I love my parents. My dad in particular still thinks he’s “cool” in his 60’s and he is. However, do I want them to turn up to any party I throw? God no.

The only time this is acceptable is if you are hosting the party or your friends (adults over 50) are hosting the party and you are invited to keep them company while the house gets trashed.

Is your name Pamela Shipman and is your son called Gavin?

I don’t think it’s at all rude, why on earth would they want their parents there and why would their parents want to be there.

talking as a mum with adult children with their own homes and families, I’m 60 eldest 30, I think I can only say with confidence “they’re adults living a life, for gods sake let them free to do they’re own thing”

my in-laws gate-crashed a party I had for the new year Eve, they were going to some do or other, but even so they were not invited, my parents were not invited, it was for 25-35 yr olds, and they turned up, I was livid, they had a history of doing this, I had made it clear to them that it was for younger people DH had talked to them about it. But they said the do they went to was full of old people. It put a real damper on the party, everyone felt they had to be on their best behaviour (Mil was very old school wine and chat, maybe a little dance kind of party ) then by 1 everyone was leaving. I was so upset, me new year Eve parties finish with breakfast!

so no, let the youngsters alone to do their own thing, if you’re not invited it’s because they don’t want you there, not that they don’t love you

A huge deal. You don’t show up to any party uninvited and expect to stay friendly.

Love generational parties

25 plus are adults and should mingle with older people.

🤣🤣

Why are you so desperate to attend your kids Halloween party? To the point of asking if folk would be bothered if parents just showed up anyway, despite not being invited?
I was about ask that. It seems strange.
Halloween isnt until the end of October. Why the panic?

My line of thinking is it's going to be a lot of organising and the parent can help the wife set up the food, maybe make some sandwiches, etc... to take some load off of her
Seriously? Really, seriously?why does 'the wife need help setting up'. Honestly it would be so obvious that your ' helping' so that you can stay at the party.

My lads are in their mid to late 20s. They invite us round for tea and drinks, take us out for meals, we go away together and so on. But they also do their own thing, with their own crowd as well, just like me and their dad do.

You are sounding pushy, silly, clingy and desperate. Ignore the party. Send them off with a wave and a 'Have a lovely time' with a large glass of wine in your hand and a plate of treats on your lap and your favourite film on tv.

Is there an underlying back story here? Are you ill perhaps and its made you want to be closer to your kids and relive your wild Halloween of yor?

That would be incredibly rude if they hadn’t been invited. Just accept that they want a party with their friends or with they obviously see their siblings as and stop trying to force yourself onto them. You’re making yourself look a bit pathetic if I’m honest.

Ooh.

The OP has resorted to sock puppeting her own thread, because nobody agrees with her.
🤣🤣

OP I have 3 DDs aged 29, 32 & 35. They are really close and always invite each other to their parties along with their friends & cousins. The most recent was a Eurovision party where everyone dressed up. I saw photos, it looked enormous fun but it never occurred to me that their dad & I should be invited! These get togethers are different from family gatherings which are also great fun but in a different way

Oh goodness, this gave me a giggle.

Hoping the message has sunk in for OP that she would be entirely unwelcome and rather pitied for turning up to this party 😳 I’ve got a few friends and colleagues who are incapable of reading a room or understanding social cues. It’s exasperating.

DH and I are mid-40s. We’ve never invited either set of parents (70’s) to a party we’ve hosted for friends!! It would change the dynamic.

For future, please don’t insist you’re invited to a hen party or baby shower or birth of a grandchild!! If they want you there, they would invite you.

25 plus are adults and should mingle with older people
Mine do. They have friends who are in the 40s and late 50s.
It doesn't mean mum and dad have to be invited to everything. I like being invited to some of their parties but I dont want to go to all of them. Somtimes it's a relief to hear about them after the event!

“ Mary berry the place up” 🤣😂🤣😂👍

Also loving “Mary Berry the place up”. I’m using that phrase going forward 😂 👏

Well that’s fine if you’re the one throwing the party?! Also fine for people not to choose to do that…

Jeez

You have to wonder what goes through some parents heads.

My BIL & DSis set up their friends on a date, going on a double date to make the introduction. So two couples off out for a semi-romantic night. Local music festival and pub meal. I think the two on the first date were both quite shy/anxious people looking to dip their toes back in after a rough few years.

BIL's Mum is a bit over-attached and was babysitting DN. Kept asking where they were off to and he was a bit cagey and didn't tell her. Just that it was a date night and they weren't sure, hadn't made plans. They were actually just under an hour away in a different city.

She tracked them down via "find my family" on her iphone!

Showed up with BIL's Dad, baby DN, DN's toddler cousin, BIL's adult sibling & spouse. Pulled a load of chairs up to their cosy table in the gastropub. Took over this lovely double date.

And this poor "set up" couple were like WTF?! Who is this woman?! And she was asking them really intrusive questions.

It was a hilarious story to listen to but absolutely mortifying for the two couples. She makes them do everything together...holidays...the honeymoon. Just bonkers.

Oh my goodness if I was invited in my twenties to a house party then found out the hosts’ parents were going to be there I’d probably decide not to go!
I am in my late 40s and if our friends invited us for dinner and their parent elbowed their way in they would tell us in advance and apologise for the change in dynamic. This is hilarious. My son is 8 and already gives me the side eye if I try to join in with what he and his friends are playing on the computer.

we are talking about 25-28 year old ADULTS and you are moaning their parents weren't invited?

Some people on mumsnet bizarrely get pissed at adults staying at a kids party with young primary age children who still need assistance.

I'm only in my 30s and have a teen son, it would never even cross my mind to be invited to a party of his peers... how very odd.

On god,I'm cringing,if this is real. I get on really well with my grown up kids and we spend lots of time to but I never expect to be included if they're getting together with friends their own age. Maybe you would like to spend more time with them, in that case tell them,and arrange something. If one of you is caring for an elderly relative I understand why you'd want to have a bit of fun but this party isn't the time. Sorry if that seems harsh, I do feel for you but if they haven't included you please don't make it difficult for them.

OMG that’s just awful, how embarrassing.

OP if indeed you are the parent and by some remote chance this isn’t a joke, don’t, just don’t . You are turning into an embarrassment.

😄😄😄😄🤣

I just realised you had your kids young, younger than the age your kids now are.

I’m sorry you missed out on partying in your twenties but you can’t do it now by crashing your children’s parties.