Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

😂

Yeah sure, they are all teetotallers. What a coincidence.

Is it a Bible group that meet on Halloween to repell the evil ghosts?

Im 30, my parents are late 50’s and good fun. Have great music taste (90’s indie/brit/rock type of stuff). They’re welcome at any party of mine if all family are coming, grandparents, aunts, cousins etc.

But a party/gathering of just my friends. My parents aren’t getting one foot through the door -soz mum and dad😂 although I can’t party like I could 10 years ago.

@itsahalloweenone are you always this invested/entitled?

This. Sorry OP!

Apparently. Plus in this alternative world people get to invite themselves to parties they think they should have been invited to.

I would not expect to be invited to my son's party! Sometimes I have been- great- others not. It puts a whole different slant on the party! Neither rude nor upsetting- normal!

You say you're early 50s but you sound waaay older

Hang on, I'm waaaay older but I'm still cringing as much as you young things.

"It would probably only be one parent as the other spends that day with their own elderly mother, so the one parent would be left alone at home otherwise."

Couldn't they join the other parent and spend the day with the elderly mother? - generation gap presumably no problem....

OP wouldn't want to come across as desperately needy would they?

I’ve loved this thread after a shit day at work - thanks OP and all PP’s you’ve really cheered me up.

Young people don’t even eat sandwiches for lunch these days let alone at parties! It’s all about wraps ramen noodles or buddha bowls. Prepping party food will probably involve ripping film off the top of tubs of ‘picky bits’ followed by Über-eats delivery of pizzas or KFC tubs of chicken (or both).

Best way you could help OP is by taking a crate of drinks to the car when your son gets picked up and wishing them well.

Still not rude. I am in my 30ies and still feel there is a difference between events with or without my parents.

Both nice / fun / enjoyable? Yes. The same? not at all.

If there’s one good thing to come from this thread, it’s that it’s really reminded me how lucky I am to have a mum and a mum-in-law who are normal people and not completely fucking insane

Oh come on get a life and let your kids live theirs! Why are you so desperate to crash your kids party with all their friends it’s kinda sad! Have your own Halloween party with your own friends of your own age!

Jesus, clingy much? You weren't invited, thus they don't want you there. Have your own party with your own friends that night.

Exactly this - my son is 25 and that’s his favourite response to many of my suggestions: “mum, don’t be that parent” 😂

I’ve two adult kids, and I’m pretty sure they have all sorts of parties that I am not invited to, just like I have social gatherings that don’t include them. None of us find it rude or hurtful because it isn’t.

My line of thinking is it's going to be a lot of organising and the parent can help the wife set up the food, maybe make some sandwiches, etc... to take some load off of her

Jesus wept 🙄

Have you brought your son up so badly that he dumps “pink jobs” on his wife? Why the hell would his wife have the “load” and be the one setting up food? Does his penis swing out and get in the way?

Sandwiches though 😆
You’re 50s not 90s. Catering has moved on.

Yes, you are not invited.

They don't want you to cook food, make sandwiches, tidy up all they want from you is to leave them alone to have a party with their friends on their terms.

If you keep badgering them to go then you may find that your relationship with them gets damaged. They will start keeping any get-togethers from you as they don't want to spend months trying to avoid you and your begging for an invite.

Unfortunately you are not invited, they do not want you there. Are you actually sure that you get on well with their friends? Or are they polite to you because you are their friends Mum?

@ComtesseDeSpair I wanna go to Rachel's party

Not rude to not invite parents, it changes the 20 something dynamic. Definitely rude for parents to turn up uninvited. I’d think nothing of it if I wasn’t invited to my 27 year old’s halloween party that was made up of her own age group whether or not her brother was there. Are the other partner’s kids aren’t invited? That would be the rude scenario / equivalent invitees as far as I am concerned.

One of the things that makes me very happy is my children socialising together without me.

Why not hang out with your own friends? Or just stay home on Halloween? Hand out candy if you want.

You seem very codependent.

No I would not say it is rude

Haven't read the full thread, just your post and your responses. I'm horrified that you'd want to gatecrash a party you're not invited to! How rude! Find yourself something else to do and leave them to their partying! It doesn't matter if they're 27 and don't drink, if they'd have wanted you there, you'd have been invited! Do you normally feel entitled to be in on everything that they do? I'd have found that totally overbearing behaviour from my parent at that age! Have some respect and dignity.

No. Obviously not rude.

Excellent point re the sandwiches. At that age, I went to a Halloween party that was catered for with merely;

Halloumi
Olives
Hummus & Breadsticks
Leftover Dominos Garlic & Herb Dip
Wine
Koppaberg
Skunk

We all got the munchies at 3am and ended up eating dry Ryvita and Cereal out of the cupboards.

I'd called my (Asian, Religious, Overprotective DM) at 9.30pm to tell her I'd just got in from watching a movie with my then BF and he'd just dropped me home. I was going to have a cup of tea and some toast then an early night as I didn't want to be bothered by trick or treaters.

Lies. All lies.