Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

This has got to be a joke 😂

😂I needed this laugh today. Op, you are 1000000% being unreasonable

Bloody Hell.

I'd think the parents need help - they sound a bit enmeshed and entitled.

Of course it's only natural for people to party with their peers and not their parents, especially at a Halloween party. This is one of the oddest things I've read on MN. And that's saying something.

The parents need to get their own life!

OP, word of advice. Forget Halloween, start thinking about Christmas.

Make a list or three , plan the food, try out the seating, start knitting those jumpers, write the Christmas cards, get the wrapping done early, honestly, before you know it , it will be December and you will be fretting about whether the turkey will fit in the oven and how many roasties to do and you will have completely forgotten about Halloween, GuyFawkes and even Thanksgiving.

so the one parent would be left alone at home otherwise

I think it's ok to leave someone in their 50s home alone.

Would you find it a big deal if the parents still showed up?

Are you really that lonely? This is both extremely rude and batshit crazy. I would have found it bizarre to turn up to a Halloween party in my 20s and the hosts parents be there.... it's just not that vibe at all.

I find it extremely difficult to believe there is any group of twenty somethings where none of them smoke, or vape, or drink, or do drugs. Having parents there alters the dynamic, no matter how lovely they are.

It is not at all rude of them to not invite you and I think you need to unpack why exactly you are feeling hurt by this. Organise your own party if you're feeling lonely!

lol I am younger than your kids and I can assure you they do not want you there. The Halloween party will be about wearing sexy outfits, getting drunk, socialising and listening to loud music. There won’t be a single sandwich in sight. They don’t need to prepare food, a Halloween bag of snacks will do, people can bring their own alcohol and chip in to order pizza or something. It’s crazy how naive you are being. You being there would completely change the atmosphere and the dynamic. Your adult children are allowed to do things without you being there, you come across as really controlling and insecure

This has to be a joke. My daughter is 25 and I'm only 41. I would never expect to be invited to one of her parties. And I would never in a million years just show up uninvited.

In ‘jump scare’ style? Best not do that.

No. I do things with my siblings but don't invite my mum.

However she wouldn't want to come.

It sounds as if they (you??) would be up for it. In that case yes a little different.

Several hints here that the 'parents' don't recognise or other respect other people's boundaries and have to be told things several times before they 'hear'

1. Halloween party is being organised over 2 months in advance

1. Party guest list has been questioned in some detail

1. Reason for not inviting parents has been questioned

1. Offer to help host despite not being invited

1. Checking with MN whether it's OK to gatecrash a party you have been expressly told not to attend.

Now I’m picturing them turning up with a supersoaker.

🤣

I find it extremely difficult to believe there is any group of twenty somethings where none of them smoke, or vape, or drink, or do drugs. Having parents there alters the dynamic, no matter how lovely they are.

This has made me laugh because my DM and DF think I've never tried alcohol (or drugs) and DM thought I was a virgin until I was about 38 (after I married). Even then I think she thinks DCs arrived here through some sort of osmosis. My DPs have no idea of the reality. I strongly suspect OPs kids are the same.

90a house parties also featuring:

Vodka jelly
Cement mixer (pour loads of alcohol in someone's mouth and mix in mouth)

Memories.

No, OP, don't go.

I'm 47 and my parents didn't come to my parties and I don't go to my kids.

No, not at all rude. Friends, brothers, cousins etc all about the same age have been invited - why should that automatically mean parents are too??
Let them have their fun without interferring.

People are allowed to invite who they want to a party. It would be the height of rudeness to turn up uninvited.

I assume this is a reverse or something.

Whoever the parents are they sound absolutely awful!!

Their party, their choice 🤷🏼‍♀️

Absolute lunacy @itsahalloweenone

Who decides to go to a party they’re not invited to? 🙈

I would not expect my son's friend to invite me. Even though I was a young mum at 20 we are still a completely different generation. Let the young people have their fun. I wouldn't be offended in the least.

Just remember to leave the window open a crack 🤣

Is it too early to nominate this thread for Classics?

What part of you are not invited,don’t you understand!

You're not invited. Don't go. Don't be That Parent.

Children do this process called individuating from their parents, where they develop their own lives and friendships. It's normal and healthy and means you don't always get to go to their parties.