Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Wait for meeeeeee!

Eeek. It’s worse than that… she IS the worst MIL on mumsnet!

There are only two possibilities that would create a post like this (well, three if you include trolling).

1. You are the parent and are a complete fuckwit if you are considering turning up to your son's party when he has EXPRESSLY told you that "the couple want to be with people their own age" for this party.
2. You are the son or daughter-in-law, coming here to do a sanity check because your parent/parent-in-law is stubbornly persisting in her fuckwittedness.

Either way, crashing a party you have been expressly told you are not invited to is just so fucking rude of a parent, so entitled, so self-absorbed - so FUCKWITTED.

I'm still not convinced.

Do you know it wasn’t called Mad Dog? I would have bet money it was. Anyway we were too cheap for that. We used to drink some crap that didn’t even have a name on the label, just a drawing of a banana.

And don’t forget taking all the labels off the tins and hiding the cutlery in the freezer. And someone needs to be found on the lawn the next morning fast asleep with their trousers around their ankles.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Seriously, cut the apron strings OP. Leave them to it.

‘The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old)’

They’ve given you a valid and reasonable explanation. There is nothing that needs to be addressed. Leave them be and have your own fun with your own group of friends or with your husband.

Please, please don’t go. More importantly, don’t wangle for an invite either. If you get a pity offer when DS2 gets picked up - decline it. Better still, make plans/be out on that evening. You could be the most entertaining person in the room but they haven’t invited you so it seems they want it to be a party for their friends only (this time).

You seem to have loads of reasons why it would be/should be ok to go….none of them matter. Because you have not been invited.

It’s not rude or hurtful…it’s normal. It would be rude/hurtful to impose yourself and could damage what you say is a good relationship.

Our teens have friends around and we steer clear, even though we all get on. This is Parenting 101…your kids don’t always want or need you and the parent has to respond to that in a mature/non-needy way.

No please don't they will most likely get a takeaway. Why not suggest a family Halloween party at yours. Doesn't have to be on Halloween night I'm going to one on the 26th.

Halloween party?? It's still August

I think this is one of the most un self-aware OPs I’ve ever read! 😳

It’s not a family party, it’s a party for 20-somethings where some age appropriate family members happen to be invited.

In my mum’s eyes I probably haven’t done half the stuff I have in terms of getting drunk/trying things. I get on with her really well, it’s just a different dynamic. When I was 27 I would never have invited my parents to a party like that. Nor would they have felt they had to come.

Do you have issues in terms of feeling lonely to be projecting this level of intensity re. your DS and partner’s social life? Maybe you should take up a hobby to meet people and make friends of your own.

I'm convinced we are going to set a new mumsnet record...this thread will surely reach full capacity by 10pm tonight at the latest 😂😂😂

"Inform them" that you're going to a party you're very clearly not invited to 🤣

(And would obviously have to stay overnight at, as you don't have a car!)

You could "help the wife" make breakfast in the morning 😅

Oh gosh..ignore all the nasty comments on here.

Your invite probably got lost. Pop along and then report back here how it went!

Any thoughts on what type of sandwiches would be good? Maybe some punch would go down well?

If you have not been asked to help, it's unnecessary to do so and rude to assume they can't cope with making a few sandwiches. Throw your own party if you are so desperate to have one.

Pretty normal imo. Big group of long time family friends in my life, the “kids” are all now between 25-35 and the parents in their 60’s.

Recently the 35 y/o said she was thinking of having a gathering at her house and said “it’ll just be us lot though, I don’t think I’m gonna invite the adults” 😂

Don't forget cheese and pineapple on sticks nom nom! 😆

My DSC are all in their early to mid twenties - I am 43 and my DH is 51 - absolutely no way on this earth would they invite us to their Halloween party - what a ridiculous idea!! We love each other, have fun together but they would absolutely not want us cramping their style with their pals, similar aged siblings or cousins etc.

I'd cringe so much if my parents rocked up to a similar party I was throwing in my 20s

And also this attitude it's just the wife who is doing the food and not the dh. And that you think she needs your help interference

Stop it - that is very mean

Definitely this ^

You should go to the party

Take quiche and trifle too plus some rice crispie cakes .....oh and little sausages on sticks

You'll be SO welcome

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh god, you’re the parent. What’s wrong with you, trying to gate crash. Find your own friends and let them be,

Not at all rude not to invite the parents. And if I were the parents, I wouldn’t want to go!

99 Bananas?? That stuff could start fires.

I NEED to know so much more about this party.

Who sends invites for a Halloween party in August?
Presumably this is a fancy dress occasion?
Who wants to be in fancy dress with no alcohol?
Who wants to be in fancy dress with their son’s friends?
What self respecting adult can’t bear the thought of being left home alone at Halloween?