Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Ok OP, you win. You have the worst MIL on MN.

No

The younger couple are hosting and want this event to be about friends and family there own age.
The parents need to leave them to it on this occasion

But they might be talking about the Oasis reunion. Just saying.

When we were in our 20s having a house party, one of our housemates invited an actual nun (neighbour) and she came. I can’t remember how long she stayed but it was a legendary party and the middle aged nun in full habit added to the vibe So I advise you to dress in a 1950s pinny and go and serve sandwiches on a hostess trolley . They will never forget you were there

The fact that in your OP you didn't mention that YOU are the parent who was not invited shows just how screwed up your approach to your son's life is.

Your son made it crystal clear - they "want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old)". Respect his and his wife's choice, and unless you want to permanently damage your relationship with both, DO NOT GATECRASH THEIR PARTY! Oh, and since they've invited "his brothers and cousins" you would be making yourself a laughing stock amongst your wider family too. That this needs to be pointed out to you - sheesh!

But do please explain here - WHY do you feel so entitled to be at this party? WHY is the fact that you have not been invited, enough? WHY did you query it with your son (so that he had to point out the party is for their age-group only)? WHY?

And to answer the original question it is NOT rude to not invite your mother to your Halloween party. Even if you have a good relationship with them and their friends, they are entitled to a social life outside of you/their parents.
If you feel hurt, then it might be worth unpacking WHY you feel hurt that you are not invited to a gathering that your children are hosting with THEIR friends.

One day DS2 might get married and move out. And then DS1/2 might hang out with their wives and kids and maybe even without you. It doesn't mean they don't have a close bond with you. But it would be very very disrespectful to gate crash their party as you plan to do. And informing them as you jump in the car with DS2 is indeed gate crashing.

What on earth . "The wife" doesn't need help. "The spouse" can most likely help/do it.

Is this a reverse??

Hmm if they have no DC they obviously just want to have fun get drunk as they want and chat with friends about stuff they wouldn't want parents to hear. Inviting parents changes the dinamics of the party. They just don't want parents there cramping their style sorry to say.

I can't believe they had to give a reason why their parents weren't invited!

Of course it's not rude not to invite your parents to a party with their friends.

!

Who are you in this?

Do not go. You haven't been invited.

Good lord!!

I've found myself wondering if the reason they've told you they don't drink is because you'll always try to turn up on nights out 😬 ...

Can't you guess??

The mother!

I reckon the sarnies could be a winner

Lord. i am 51 and my parents 75. I don't invite them to parties that are friend-specific. Nor do they invite me to their parties which are for friends.

The conversation we have is 'Oh how lovely. Have fun!'. For their most recent anniversary I offered to hand around canapes and clean up afterwards!

To teach son’s wife on the correct way to make sandwiches for a party obviously. How else will she learn to host and serve HIS friends and family (it’s important to note they are nothing to do with her you know).

In fact probably best if mum hosts it with her son.

Imagine being picked up to go to a party and your mum comes pelting down the path and jumps in the car too!
😂 😂 😂

Exactly…..
sorry do you think there’s an age limit on cocaine? 😂

I'm 47 and my DD's are in their 20's. If they had a halloween party for people around their age I wouldn't expect to be invited.

If I had a party for people aound mine and DH's age, I wouldn't invite my DD's and if I did I doubt they would want to come.

Basic party etiquette...
Never,ever,ever turn up to something you have not been specifically invited to.

I have sons of 30 and 31,both married ,one couple has 2 small children. Sometimes they invite us to things, sometimes they do things as young people with their friends and we babysit the children. Sometimes they do things as young people with the tiny children with them but not with us. I would never dream of inviting myself to something, or manipulating/ emotionally blackmailing them into feeling they had to include me. I have friends of my own and my own social life. They aren't my friends, they are my adult offspring with their own lives and wives who are ( obviously) not my children. Most of their get togethers with friends involve a Domino's pizza delivery so no need for me to make tiny sandwiches and cheese balls ( as if)

😂

Why is it the wife setting up the food etc?

they’ve set a clear boundary with you, you’re not invited

overstep this boundary and your next thread will be “why is my son NC”

My friend has a mum like this. She complains when she’s ‘home alone’ because the youngest (who is 23) has gone out for the night! She sees her kids lives as an extension of hers and it makes her life difficult. She actually keeps events like this a secret because she can’t be bothered with the guilt trip. It’s rude OP, it’s unfair and you need to let go.