Desperately sad about holiday ending

[Jackolanterny]

We spend summers abroad, usually away for 4-5 weeks.

I love the climate here, the nature, the space, the vivid colours, the water. I love everything about life here.It’s Florida.

I don’t want to come home. I have about two days left and already feel the holiday blues creeping in and the anxiety about returning to the UK. I hate the weather at home. I hate the pace. I hate the greyness and bleakness of everyday. If you told me I could never step foot in the UK again, I wouldn’t be worried at all.

I was made for this place and wish I could just live here. I will cry my eyes out coming home as usual and will pine to come back, thinking of not much else. It’s a feeling similar to grief, as melodramatic as that sounds.

I know this is daft, that I should try to enjoy life at home, but I just don’t. I can’t move here, it’s not possible. Maybe I can retire here for 6 months of the year, but that’s a long time away.

Does anyone else ever feel the same? I’ve been coming here since 1991, but for longer stints since 2008. So this isn’t just a Disney bubble thing, I couldn’t give two hoots about Disney. I spend every spare penny coming here, saving like mad and going without, because I don’t see the point in spending on stuff in the UK.

Just posting because I feel so sad and wondered if this was normal and if anyone else ever feels like this about their chose holiday destination?

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. The reality of life in florida is very different to a holiday (it is a bit of a joke state in the eyes of many americans), so it's likely you're just seeing it through rose tinted glasses as it's a holiday and not real life. I hope things settle down for you once you are home and back to normal life.

Thank you. I think I get so sad now because I know depression will creep in when I’m back and I will not feel properly happy until I’m here again. You’re probably right that I see it through rose tinted glasses, picturing myself in the pool or paddle boarding after work everyday lol. I suspect reality is very different, and of course being in holiday mode is just lovely isn’t it.

I think it would help though if the UK didn’t have 8 month long cold seasons 😂

Thanks again, I just needed to get it off my chest so I don’t ruin the last few days for my family by putting it on them. Xx

I get it OP.

Just came back from holiday this weekend and realise it's the end of August and though I like Autumn - if the weather is good - the thought of winter coming is depressing.

Thanks, that makes me feel a little better. Knowing it’s not just me.

I get it Op. I used to live in Florida (my ex was American). I did love it, but I did end up missing the UK! The police are a lot more heavy headed here (we used to get pulled over for no reason). The guns used to bother me. No NHS. I missed silly things like BBC radio and national news papers that were good quality. The food was also fairly unhealthy mostly.
But I did enjoy it, the weather was epic. What I’m trying to say you might find if you lived there full time, it’s not as fun as a holiday! I had to work for example, so the pace you mention can be just as fast, and in fact faster as they don’t have the labour laws we have here.
But go easy on yourself, Florida is great (I adore the Keys), and you will naturally miss it and feel sad for a few weeks.

4-5 weeks is a long time to be on holiday so it makes total sense that you dread the end. I get post holiday blues after being away for 5 days! It is a form of grief like any other

Do the feelings ease eventually as you adjust to life back here?

Could you plan some day trips or exciting things to do during the autumn and winter months back home? Or start a new routine such as gym/swimming, a new hobby or course?

A lot of managing loss and grief is about adjustment. Just don't forget to appreciate what you have, both in Florida and here. Sometimes just reminding yourself of your blessings can shift your mindset enough to put you in a happier place. Most people aren't in a position to go to a hot country for several weeks every year.

You'll be in Florida again soon enough. In the meantime, think about how to make the most of life back home.

Just to add...your current mindset of not seeing the point of spending money on anything in the UK is unlikely to be helping. The UK isn't Florida of course, but there's beauty to be found. Rather than thinking you would never want to be here, it would probably be more beneficial to make the most of it, otherwise you'll wish your life away just for the short time that you're in Florida, and that seems pretty sad. I suspect if you embrace both in their different ways , your grief will feel less intense.

I get it as also love the US and good weather. But it’s a holiday, not real life with a job and bills to pay. UK winters are horrible for many people. All the hot chocolate in the world won’t change that. I think you have to acknowledge your depression, try to find things in winter to be happy about (Christmas for example?) and plot your next trip abroad to the sun. And remind yourself that in the grand scheme of things these are first world problems

It's totally normal! I've always thought it's a sure sign of a good holiday 😎 I thought everyone did? Try not to ruin your last couple of days by 'borrowing troubles', focus on making them epic!

I love the keys too. So ramshackle it’s adorable!
I will miss it terribly. I’m back in February for a week, so not too long to wait, but I will miss it here.

Do you think you may get seasonal depression in the UK and this could also be contributing to your depressed feelings of being back in the UK?

That’s the awful thing. No, the feelings of depression don’t seem to subside. I don’t know if I make it worse by constantly revisiting my videos of Fl or watching YouTube videos. As we get deeper into winter, I just feel worse. If I think about Florida, I grieve no differently to when I think about my much loved relatives who have passed. And I cry. I genuinely cry. It’s a real depression.

Then a few weeks before I come back I begin to get very anxious that something will go wrong, my flight will get cancelled; or someone will break something. I will catastrophise and panic until the plane takes off. Then finally I start to relax, and when we land and drive out of the airport in the car, it’s euphoric.

I have tried in the past to book monthly getaways. I do attend a gym and have some hobbies; I hold dinner parties for friends and do relatively normal stuff, but none of it brings the joy it should. It feels like passing time, and as quickly as possible. I probably should speak to someone as this has been ongoing for years.

I know you are right and I should appreciate what I have and the time I’m here. My emotions are just seeming to get the better of me. I wonder if SAD is real.

Could you move to Spain or Portugal or Italy which is more accessible, beautiful weather/ places and closer to home. Get a work from home job. Florida seems so far. The language is an issue, l know

Yes, indeed, I am incredibly fortunate to be able to come here as I do to begin with. Many are not so lucky. It certainly is a first world problem. That’s why I hide it from my family, and hence I posted here. Because I know it looks just awful. It takes a lot of energy to try to hide ‘misery’ and I think that also makes the problem worse.

I like this, thank you!

Yep, absolutely. I think because I know that as well, it makes coming home harder.

I get it. I can only go away for five days at a time but do this twice over the summer. I feel so low when I get back. I can't even look at my holiday photos and see how blue the sky was compared to the uk. I yearn for hot weather and really struggle.

This is why I emigrated. It was a huge and expensive upheaval, and yes working and living somewhere is always going to be different to visiting on holiday. But it was totally worth it, if only for the nine months a year of blue skies and sunshine. Are you sure this isn't an option for you?

I am not sure to be honest. I think I would genuinely feel better in a warmer, brighter climate. I even feel healthier, less joint pain; less dry skin and less allergies here!

I come home and suddenly I’m a snotty, chapped, itchy, dry, aching mess 😂

Sending hugs. The feeling is miserable isn’t it x

Actually moving abroad when you really feel like that can be agood experience - it's not always just a 'holiday' thing. I live abroad and I'll retire here. I haven't been in the UK since 2019 - and truth is I'll probably never return even for a visit again.

I don't know your situation as to why you maybe can't move, but I'd reccomend doing it if there's a way.

I think I may be too old - mid 40’s? (Although I could understand how some might think I was around 8 reading this thread).

And both DH and I work in education which isn’t always easily transferable.

and up until now, I really haven’t been anywhere except Florida for a very long time. Apart from a one-off to Mallorca during Covid, when Florida was closed to us (that was the most awful time in my life).

Bit maybe instead of whining, I should look into this. The weather really is a big part of how I feel.

I’ve only really thought of moving to Florida and I know that moving to the US as a Brit is exceptionally difficult. Particularly as I work in education, and not in a subject widely taught here.

I’ve not given much thought to moving elsewhere, but perhaps I should. I don’t enjoy my life in the UK, I like to be outdoors and in the water preferably, so maybe I need to broaden my horizons. Somewhere I could kayak, paddle board, snorkel etc would be perfect.

I moved from Ireland to Australia when I was in my early 40s, so it can be done. My only regret is I didn't do it earlier.

SAD is 100% real. I have it. A light box can help. I eat breakfast in front of mine every day in the cooler months! It's the lack of light that's the issue.

I suspect watching videos of florida is reinforcing your grief. How about watching videos of some places of natural beauty in the UK and other countries such as Norway? I appreciate the weather is a big part of how you feel, but focusing on the source of your grief is only going to dig you in deeper.

If you're spiritually minded (or even if you're not) the concept of living in the moment and making the most of everyday can help too. Keep an eye on how your thoughts feed your grief. I don't like winter but I appreciate it because it makes me love summer all the more. Try not to 'feed' your suffering with thoughts about where you'd rather be. Life is for living right now, and you're very blessed with the knowledge that going to a hot country is a yearly or twice yearly option for you.